Witty Profiles

lozza821

1. lozza821
   posted a quote
   December 5, 2013 1:07pm UTC
   How long will I love you?
   As long as stars are above you...
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 25 points
2. lozza821
   posted a quote
   November 17, 2013 2:33pm UTC
   What really sucks is when you know you should be doing something but
   physically cannot bring yourself to do it no matter how important doing that thing is
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 48 points
3. lozza821
   posted a quote
   November 17, 2013 12:42pm UTC
   And no Kanye isn’t stupid or evil for selling $120 plain shirts...
   People are fricking stupid for buying em
   Kanye is a genius.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 39 points
4. lozza821
   posted a quote
   August 25, 2012 2:21pm UTC
   I'm glad my pets can't talk.
   They know too much.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 422 points
5. lozza821
   posted a quote
   August 25, 2012 12:33pm UTC
   I'm having one of those unattractive days.
   I mean years.
   I mean lives.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 888 points
6. lozza821
   posted a quote
   August 25, 2012 11:47am UTC
   You know who's perfect?
   Don't bother reading the first word again because it's Niall Horan.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 528 points
7. lozza821
   posted a quote
   August 13, 2012 8:37pm UTC
   Sorry but I just full on karate kicked a
   moth and it flew across the room and died
   and now I feel like a god ok
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 78 points
8. lozza821
   posted a quote
   August 11, 2012 10:08pm UTC
   1D: I'm lying naked on the floor.
   Me: My name is the floor.
   1D:
   Me:
   1D:
   Me:
   Me: I'm waiting.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 555 points
9. lozza821
   posted a quote
   August 9, 2012 7:05pm UTC
   I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer.
   Then it hit me.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 624 points
10. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2012 2:47pm UTC
    3 Bad things happened to me today:
    1: I found out my sister doesn't like Coldplay.
    2: My sister got hit by a bus.
    3: I lost my bus licence.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 1016 points
11. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2012 2:27pm UTC
    John
    My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's only 8.
    1 hour ago ·0 comment · 69 Likes
    this was not meant to offend.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 1094 points
12. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 29, 2012 8:30pm UTC
    Undecided question
    My butt cracked?????!!
    I HAVE A HUGE CRACK RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BUTT
    PLEASE HELP I THINK I MIGHT HAVE POOPED TOO HARD OR SOMETHING.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 207 points
13. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 29, 2012 8:19pm UTC
    Stranger: hello
    Stranger: 16 male
    Stranger: looking for female
    You: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you... and I will kill you.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 624 points
14. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 29, 2012 7:40pm UTC
    Jessica
    summer, SLOW DOWN. -_-
    6 hours ago ·1 comment · 1 Likes
    Summer Okay.
    5 hours ago ago · 26 Likes
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 416 points
15. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2012 4:50pm UTC
    I remember when the 'M' in MTV
    stood for
    Music, and not Maternity.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 282 points
16. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2012 4:30pm UTC
    Dear parents,
    knocking while you open the door to my bedroom kind of defeats the perpose of knocking.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 566 points
17. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2012 3:39pm UTC
    Plot twist: This isn't over used at all.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 328 points
18. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 27, 2012 11:11pm UTC
    Peeta: Where am I.. What happened?
    Katniss: You're in the hospital, Peeta. You're fine.
    Peeta: Why am I in the hospital?
    Katniss: Because you have a concussion, Peeta.
    Peeta: Why?
    Katniss: Because Gale punched your head really hard.
    Peeta: But WHY?
    Katniss: Because you were singing 'Peeta And I Know It' again.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 489 points
19. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 26, 2012 1:40pm UTC
    Night before school: I want to look attractive tomorrow.
    Morning of school: Nevermind.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 541 points
20. lozza821
    posted a quote
    July 26, 2012 1:29pm UTC
    American: I want to live in the UK.
    Asian: I want to live in the UK.
    Indian: I want to live in the UK.
    African: I want to live in the UK.
    Hispanic: I want to live in the UK.
    Canadian: I want to live in the UK.
    Filipino: I want to live in the UK.
    British: wat.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 597 points

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