Best Woops Quotes Today

sarahmarlowXxx
posted a quote
February 25, 2013 1:55pm UTC

Elise
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
Like • Comment • 17 minutes ago
Niamh Was it you?
16 minutes ago · Like
Georga Who me?
15 minutes ago · Like
Ashley Yes you.
14 minutes ago · Like
Tiffany Couldn't be.
13 minutes ago · Like
Sarah You lying b//tch.
12 minutes ago · Like

👍 this is good · read the comments · 178 points

isitonlyme
posted a quote
June 4, 2013 4:18pm UTC

do you ever rip off a piece of your lip with your teeth and swallow it and realize you just ate yourself

👍 this is good · read the comments · 97 points

littleshrimp
posted a quote
June 30, 2013 3:33pm UTC

the way your stomach
d r o p s
when you know you really
s c r e w e d u p

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 73 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 6:48pm UTC

Me playing guitar
Alone
Me: *plays beatutifully*
Me: Wow if only a professional could hear this.
Me: Like Billie Joe Armstrong
Me: Or SLASH.
In front of people
Me: And I umm.. *strums wrong chord* I promise that
Me: Wait that was the wrong note.
Me: that
Me: that
Me: that
Me: No I think I do an A Minor chord now.
Kid in audience: Mommy I want to go home.
On recording
Me: *plays beautifully*
My thoughts: Wow this is going really well, Charlie.
Finger: *slips and awkwardly positions itself*
My thoughts: Ow, why does my finger hurt?
Me: *looks at finger*
Me out loud: OH MY GOD MY FINGER IS BLEEDING WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE WRONG
Me out loud: I'VE NEVER FELT SUCH PAIN
Me out loud: WHERE ARE THERE BANDAIDS
Me out loud: I NEED A HELLO KITTY BANDAID STAT!!!
Me: *looks at computer*
Computer: *recording*
Me: Sh.t

👍 this is good · read the comments · 59 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 7:52am UTC

Guy: I have abs
Me: I have a thigh gap
Guy: Huh?
Me: I thought we were naming unnessecary things that society has drilled into our minds that make us their kind of beautiful.
Guy: No, really. I have abs. *shows his stomach*
Me: oh.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 35 points

capsized*
posted a quote
September 1, 2013 8:55pm UTC

My favorite thing to do when I'm home alone is put weird toppings on popcorn.
Ex: Peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, chocolate sauce and sprinkles.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 32 points

hayhayy915
posted a quote
April 2, 2013 1:40pm UTC

Knowing something you said went too far
but not knowing how to take it back

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 28 points

capsized*
posted a quote
May 25, 2013 11:26pm UTC

year is 2392
child: mommy i can't sleep
mother: don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
mother: WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WHAT UP, I GOT A BIG CØCK

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 28 points

littleshrimp
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 9:52pm UTC

that mini heart attack you get
when you think you forgot your phone charger

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

littleshrimp
posted a quote
July 1, 2013 12:42am UTC

why the hell do i even try anymore.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

psychosis*
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 12:05am UTC

My ex's name on my phone is comic sans,
Because comic sans is useless and tacky and horrible aND
NOBodY FüCKInG liKES COMIC SANS OK.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

Magic_Eight_Ball
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 11:56am UTC

You had me at
"Don't worry I brought food"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

RadRabbit101
posted a quote
September 27, 2013 11:14pm UTC

It's really difficult to be a human
I mean...have you ever done something..?
And then thought about it for eight years...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points

capsized*
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 9:45pm UTC

do i even have a sexuality at this point
or is it literally just “oh yes i’d kiss you”?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

KayleighJean
posted a quote
February 24, 2014 9:25pm UTC

Well, Steve just messaged Patrick and I.
In the middle of a really awkward conversation
involving ripping chests open.
No biggie.
Just.
Yup
*hyperventilates*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

ZombiexEater*
posted a quote
February 16, 2014 11:18pm UTC

I havent thought about it before now, but
I think I have an eating disorder.
All throughout the day there never, not once a time where I am not eating something, doesn't matter if it's cookies, or chips, I am always eating. like wtf

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

hayhayy915
posted a quote
April 14, 2013 5:50pm UTC

I need to learn how
to keep my mouth shut

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

BETHANY*
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 6:57am UTC

"Mum, I though you said I could have a lie in thanks a lot!"
"Beth, it's lunchtime"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

hoping_to_be_free
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 7:23pm UTC

I'm not strong enough
for the both of us.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

hayhayy915
posted a quote
April 1, 2013 12:02am UTC

My step mom tried to be helpful
by getting me new head bands
but she got me toddler sized ones

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

Witty Profiles

Best Woops Quotes Today