Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

Best Truestorybro Quotes This Week

  1. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2013 3:07pm UTC
    I like staying up at unhumanly hours, but I also like getting 12 hours of
    sleep. Do you see my problem?

  2. RingoStar RingoStar
    posted a quote
    February 6, 2013 8:40pm UTC
    There are 7,064,588,395
    people on this planet, Earth
    and I still have a 0% chance
    of having a boyfriend on Valentine's day

  3. ErinIsTheName* ErinIsTheName*
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2013 1:17pm UTC
    So earlier I was pushing my little sister on the swings.
    And I asked her if she was ready and she dramatically looks at the sky and intensely says, "I was born ready".

  4. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2013 5:39pm UTC
    No matter what point of history you go to,
    it's always white people f.cking sh.t up for everyone.

  5. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    May 20, 2013 6:53pm UTC
    Science teacher: Oh, I still have powdered sugar in my class
    Classmate: Why do you have powdered sugar?
    Science teacher: Because it looks like cocaine.

  6. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    April 24, 2013 2:54pm UTC
    Me: A cute boy just told me I looked nice today. We are getting married.
    Friend: ...
    Me: UPDATE: He doesn't like hockey. We are getting a divorce.
    Friend: That is the most Canadian reasons for a divorce I have ever seen.

  7. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    May 2, 2013 5:44pm UTC
    To be honest, I'd rather be a "sl.ut" than be
    the one telling someone to kill themselves online

  8. crazylifelover crazylifelover
    posted a quote
    April 30, 2013 8:52pm UTC
    *Me going to bed*
    Me: if I go to bed now, I'll get 7 hours 37 minutes and 52 seconds of sleep
    Me: 51 seconds
    Me: 50 seconds
    Me: 49 seconds
    Me: WOAH how did I get my laptop up here with me?
    Me: well i guess I have to go on witty
    Me: and facebook
    Me: and tumblr
    Me: and twitter
    Me: and pinterest
    Me: we might as well look at the news
    Me: dude what am I thinking, I never check the news. *puts laptop down*
    Me: sh/t. its been like two hours, now I'll only get 5 hours of sleep, better fall asleep NOW. no distractions
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: I wonder what would happen if I just became a completely different person tomorrow and I was really outgoing and fun and everyone loved me. I mean, I could change the world. It just takes one person to make a difference. That could be me. I COULD CHANGE THE WORLD. LOOK OUT WORLD. HERE I COME!
    Me:
    Me: loljk.
    Me: okay, i'm gonna fall asleep now.
    Me: any minute now
    Me: awesome, I'm almost asleep
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    *suddenly needs to pee, remembers the 582935 tons of homework I have to do, and that I have to go to school early tomorrow*
    Me: -_-
    Me: i'm done.

  9. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2013 11:26pm UTC
    Person: You're really rude and kind of an attention wh.ore
    Me: Wow
    Me: Really?
    Me: I didn't know
    Me: This is brand new information
    Me: Thank you so much for telling me

  10. Plusle_N_Minun Plusle_N_Minun
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2013 8:20pm UTC
    I understand how some teachers mispronounce names on the first day.
    But I seriously don't get how this teacher mispronounces Megan.
    It's not even a ghetto name.
    "Is Mee-gon here?"
    Like dafuq.
    Who says that?

  11. thatdamnpinkflamingo thatdamnpinkflamingo
    posted a quote
    January 28, 2013 5:09pm UTC
    Me and my friends did a perfomance on puns,
    it was really just a play on words.

  12. sophsunflower12 sophsunflower12
    posted a quote
    April 4, 2013 7:05pm UTC
    being annoying is a lot
    harder than you think

  13. *Tori Leigh* *Tori Leigh*
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2014 11:12am UTC
    Plot Twist:
    People do care about you.

  14. SaturdayInJuly SaturdayInJuly
    posted a quote
    July 7, 2013 7:13pm UTC
    Cleverbot: What is your name?
    Me: Bob.
    Cleverbot: Thats a cool name, are you a builder?
    Me: Yes I am, how did you know?
    Cleverbot: I just do.
    Me: How?
    Cleverbot: I just do, okay?
    Me: Do you stalk me?
    Cleverbot: No I just watch you closely.
    *True story bro

  15. Livelovemusic11 Livelovemusic11
    posted a quote
    April 16, 2013 5:05pm UTC
    Gym Teacher: *Takes out big bat*
    Gym Teacher: We're playing baseball today, none can miss with this bat.
    Me: Clearly you haven't met me.

  16. Ray_Ban_Diva Ray_Ban_Diva
    posted a quote
    February 9, 2013 2:52pm UTC
    I really wanna throw
    a party with fake alcohol
    and see how many people
    act wasted.

  17. Plusle_N_Minun Plusle_N_Minun
    posted a quote
    September 20, 2013 10:52pm UTC
    !!!OMFFFG STEVE YOU ARE AMAZING!!!
    I love how if you don't have a profile picture
    It automatically becomes a cat
    ^ ^
    =(·_·)=
    / \
    (____)~

  18. ZombiexEater* ZombiexEater*
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2013 12:15pm UTC
    Every girl: Like in those romantic movies, where the guy sees a puddle so he takes off his jacket and puts it over the puddle so the girl can walk across.
    Me: Well why can't they walk around it?

  19. ZombiexEater* ZombiexEater*
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 3:28pm UTC
    Okay so I wasted my life a little
    I spent the last two hours on the tag "Spongebob" and I think I've seen every, single, spongebob, quote on here.
    Yeah bro, thats my life.

  20. Plusle_N_Minun Plusle_N_Minun
    posted a quote
    September 11, 2013 8:26pm UTC
    So I went to the eye doctor today to get my eyes checked out
    (I have very bad vision)
    And then this old lady pulls me aside and says:
    "You've been living in a blurry world for so long,
    you didn't know it was blurry."
    And at that moment I didn't know whether to be scared
    or make a quote about it.

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles