Best Thishappened Quotes Today

ZombiexEater*
posted a quote
December 18, 2013 12:42am UTC

So last night,
I tried to sleep with a blanket over my head, and this is what happened.
Me: Ugh it's not dark enough in here, and I can't fall asleep.
Me: hmm.. *puts blanket over head*
Me: *after about 5 seconds, feels like someones sufficating me, and I can't breathe*
Me: AHH *launches myself up causing myself to slam my head into the bars on the top bunk*
Me: I'm not going to get any sleep tonight.

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BreeeFayy*
posted a quote
August 3, 2013 11:31pm UTC

Me: *at a friends house with lots of people and awkwardly standing there saying nothing*
Friends Dad: Why are you so quiet?
Friend: Dad!
Her Dad: Well, you know what they say; quiet minds have the loudest mouths....
Her dad: Wait I think that's wrong
Her Dad: Quiet mouths have the loudest mouths
Friend:
Me:
Her dad;
Friend:
Me:
Her dad:
Friend: Well, that almost worked.
Me: *Still awkwardly standing there saying nothing*

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AwesomeUsername
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 7:46pm UTC

"I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots."
- Albert Einstein

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Just_A_Little_Too_Addicted
posted a quote
July 17, 2013 11:25pm UTC

I saw a poster today and it said:
we will by ur home u will ghet $$muney$$ fast.
sell us ur home. c u m visit our office 2day so we can by ur home.
& I'm sitting here like awe. a 3 year old is trying to buy houses. That's cute.
Format by Breeze

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Miluiel*
posted a quote
June 27, 2014 11:02am UTC

"You know, for being you, Mia, I thought you'd be skinnier."
"Still skinnier than you."
"My eating disorder and her eating disorder are not linked. I don't confuse the two. Don't try to blur the lines."
"Whatever you say, fatty."
Punch.
"And that wasn't for me."
Punch.
"This is for every purge-" Punch. "-and every starve-" Punch. "-and every sore throat-" Punch. "-and every toilet that triggers her-" Punch. "-and ever meal she can't enjoy."
Punch.
"This is for every lie she told herself about how she needed to be and look for a girl her height."
Punch. Punch. Punch. Punch. Punch.
"Still the lies."
Punch. Punch, punch, punch. PUNCH.
"Tired yet? I could do this all day."
Punch. Punch, punch.
"I hope you're bleeding!"
Punch.
"I hope your bones fracture and splinter and break!"
Punch.
"You b/tch!"
Punch.
"You f/cking c/nt!"
Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch.
"I hope you die!"
PUNCH.
"You destroyed her."
"Me? You destroyed her. You still destroy her. You will continue to destroy her."
"I'm not the punching bag today."

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
August 10, 2013 10:13am UTC

When I was in second grade...
Me: Mom
Teacher: *looks me straight in the eyes*
Teacher: I'm not your mother.
Me: ...thank god

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
July 10, 2013 12:05am UTC

Brother: How do you say 'No' in spanish?
Me: No.
Brother: Okay, rude.

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dumb_blonde1998
posted a quote
September 20, 2013 10:46am UTC

That moment when one of the girls in your reg class says that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is call the Great Wall of Pizza.

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*kawaii satan*
posted a quote
July 20, 2013 5:50am UTC

Your Crush is in a relationship with Your Best Friend.
♥ about a minute ago · Like · Comment · See Friendship
nmf

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DestinyCaribou
posted a quote
March 11, 2014 7:44pm UTC

"Let's put it
this way....
You suck."
- m e t o m y e x

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
September 21, 2013 9:16pm UTC

I had a dream last night about a young, chubby, spanish boy who was around nine years old. He was telling me the story about how he got prepared for school during the summer. It was like a voiceover and then a short clip of him doing the thing he said and then turning and smiling at me. So he was saying how he bought his uniform *cue short clip then creepy smile*, then how he got his school supplies *cue short clip then creepy smile*, then he got his sneakers *cue short clip then creepy smile*, then he got his hair cut *cue short clip then creepy smile*, then last, he was just laughing creepily before he turned with the creepiest smile of all while saying 'then I got my nose pierced.' Somebody please help, why did this even happen?

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
May 25, 2013 1:36pm UTC

Me: Boyz, we are the Boyz in Motion!
Friend: We smell like body lotion!
Me: What?
Friend: T-those aren't the lyrics?
Me: No, they-they're not.

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cloverchild
posted a quote
November 27, 2013 5:20pm UTC

this happened in class today
me: um excuse me but my pen ran out of ink
teacher: well you can go down to the supply room but you'll need to pay for the pen
me: uh well i don't have any money at the moment, can i borrow one please
teacher: nope, go down to the supply room, you'll have to sign the debt book in your blood
teacher: just kidding
teacher: just red pen

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Pudding007
posted a quote
June 13, 2013 9:24pm UTC

So the other day I was walking home from my grandmas when I saw this guy who goes to my school. I looked down at myself and realized I was wearing a neon green tank top and a pair of batman boxers and started running for dear life...

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musicismylife131313
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 1:10am UTC

When your best friend starts calling someone else their best friend </3

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lilster62
posted a quote
May 5, 2013 2:11am UTC

*talking to self*
Me: I'm gonna tall to my crush today. But I don't know what to say.
Me: it will be alright
Me: I'm scared
Me: be brave
Me: I can't
Me: yeah you can
Me: whatever
Me: you can do this
Me: I caaann... but will I?
Me: if you don't, I will.
Me: It doesn't work that way
Me: it does in my world. Mwahahahahahaha.
(Actual conversation with myself)

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 7:50pm UTC

Friend: What don't you like?
Me: A snitch n- algebra.

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Pudding007
posted a quote
June 2, 2013 11:22am UTC

*My English teacher typing up on the projector*
Teacher: Oops I used the wrong which, I accidently put witch....does anyone know how to tell if someone is a witch
Me: *raises hand* Well, if she weighs as much as a duck, she must be made of wood
Both: THEREFORE, SHE IS A WITCH!!!

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googlelove
posted a quote
June 29, 2013 6:02pm UTC

mom: So, who do you like?
me:
mom:
me:
mom:
me: *silently jumps out the window*

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Mariah Mae*
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 9:32pm UTC

The other day this happened:
Crush's friend: Y'know it would be tradgic if you got on the D team
Crush's other friend: Yeah, trdigic if for basketball you got on the D team
One of my friends: Haha like 'cause it's joke, 'cause there's no D team in basketball haha ha
Crush: No, dude we weren't talking dirty like that. We weren't talkingin' 'bout no basketball, right Mariah?
And I was just kind of just sitting there like, omg do I go on my friends side like I ussally do or do I go with my crush, 'cause he was really talking about basketball. Lol so I just put ,my hands up and srugged my shoulders and me and my friend started laughing so hard.

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Best Thishappened Quotes Today