Best Murder Quotes Ever

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 2:17pm UTC

How to murder someone:
tell them you love them
and never
talk to them again...

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happiest*
posted a quote
August 29, 2013 3:12pm UTC

if i die and people post statuses about me on facebook and act like they knew me or were nice to me i will come back and f-cking murder them

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 23, 2013 3:12pm UTC

why don’t murderers just hide the bodies in cemeteries

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 9:07am UTC

Why do we kill people who kill people
To prove that killing is wrong

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dreamer*
posted a quote
September 18, 2013 2:24pm UTC

I saw a fake skeleton for sale today for $849
and I was like wtf I could get a real skeleton for free but then I remembered murder is illegal.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 124 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 3, 2013 11:48am UTC

What would you do if you saw me wearing a shirt that said "Kill Me"?
If you saw me at a party or on the street, would you promptly m.urder me? What if I had a few drinks? What if I was walking alone at night? I'm guessing that you wouldn't if you're a sane individual. The cops wouldn't overlook your crime because of what I was wearing, that would be silly. I wasn't literally asking for you to kill me based on my choice of clothing. Who would take that defense seriously?
My friends wouldn't blame me for being murdered and my killer would be behind bars almost instantly.
So, why is it okay to r.ape someone because they're wearing revealing clothes? Why does their choice of clother excuse their attacker? It doesn't. You're silly if you think otherwise.
The less guilt on the attacker. The more guilt on the victim.
Stop. Victim. Blaming.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 109 points

wittyquotesgurl
posted a quote
March 30, 2013 4:03pm UTC

I'M USUALLY REALLY AGAINST MURDER, BUT THAT DOESN'T
apply to insects.

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
December 3, 2013 4:40pm UTC

I deserve to go to Hell
Don't say that. Nobody deserves that.
What about murderers?
Okay well I guess
And rapists?
Well I suppose-
And terrorists?
I mean, if you put it that way
And-
SHUT UP! THE POINT IS THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE

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capsized*
posted a quote
November 27, 2013 11:20pm UTC

judge: did u kill these ppl
me: ya
judge: why
me: for the lulz xD
judge: xD
everyone in the court: xD
my mom: xD

👍 this is good · read the comments · 65 points

Alexwise
posted a quote
February 19, 2013 1:21pm UTC

If i told my class what i thought about them, they would plan my murder.

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teddybearhugz
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 9:50am UTC

How to sleep without getting caught in class?
Put eye stickers over your eyeglass.
How to insult someone without it being known?
Use your most sarcastic tone.
How to convincingly feed a lie?
Tell the truth and laugh, after staring them in the eye.
How to end a conversation and say goodbye?
Give them one word answers, so they can't reply.
How to successfully steal a cookie from the cookie jar?
Hunt down all who know and run over them with your car.
How to get away with not doing your homework?
Claim your mind was being annoying and wouldn't let you work.
How to gently reject someone?
Say 'sorry, my pet rock just died, gotta go run!'
How to get someone to do what you say?
Blackmail, of course, what other way?
How to pretend you're listening to your friend?
Awkwardly laugh, and nod your head.
How to murder in a legal way?
Gain their trust, then walk away.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 55 points

wittyquotesgurl
posted a quote
March 23, 2013 2:46pm UTC

Is it a problem if there are way more people I want to murder then people I don't want to murder?
. . . .
Nah, I think I'm fine.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 51 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 19, 2013 11:29am UTC

How dare that victim not have bulletproof flesh
How dare their body bleed out from the wound
How dare they die on their way to the hospital
Those poor gunmen, their lives ahead of them in ruins because someone was inconsiderable enough to allow themselves to be shot.
You see, it doesn't f//cking work that way

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 48 points

okay*
posted a quote
September 25, 2013 3:49pm UTC

So in my English class this boy was all like, "ugh, I hate the quiet kids." & then this REALLY REALLY REALLY quiet kid just stood up and said "WELL NO BODY PLANS A MURDER OUT LOUD DO THEY???!!!!?!?"

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maddilovesstar
posted a quote
March 10, 2013 1:43pm UTC

Boys like it
When you're playfully mean to them. Punching them on the arm, making fun of them, brutally murdering their families.

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Limited_Edition
posted a quote
November 15, 2013 8:57pm UTC

rip out my headphones and i'll rip out your lungs :)

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Mxlli
posted a quote
May 8, 2014 11:01am UTC

Have you ever
LOOKED
At someone and thought
"Yep. You have a person locked in your basement."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 29 points

rach*
posted a quote
November 30, 2014 2:47am UTC

"In Long Island, they choked that poor man to death. In Missouri, Mike Brown caught one in the head. Couple days later, they shot another [guy] 9 times and had the audacity to cuff him, after he was dead. All that blood spilled, all them tears shed, all these young, unfinished lives ended. If I [commit] murder I'll get 25 to life but if a cop commit[s] murder, he only get[s] suspended? F*ck your uniform, f*ck your badge, f*ck your weapon, [you're] supposed to protect us, instead you want us to fear you, and practice on us; all those lethal tactics that they teach you. Stop abusing your power, me and you are equal. You bleed? I bleed too. You eat sh*t? I eat [it] too. You [have] a family waiting for you [at] home, right? [Man], me too. You havin' a bad day? Yeah me too. When I'm havin' a bad day I don't get to walk around and shoot people. Kids used to wanna be you, now they wanna beat you. You used to be their hero, now their hero turned evil. Start defending the law, and stop defending your ego. Sh*t, they'll probably kill me if I ever release this video. And if so, Mister Officer just pray that the lord forgives you, forgives you for r*ping that teacher uptown by Inwood, and forgives you for shooting that kid that opened his door, with a WII remote in his hand, that you f*cking thought was a pistol."

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
March 14, 2013 7:17pm UTC

Fave of you killed someone today :D
(stolen from twitter)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 21 points

ThatOneGIrlYouNeverForget
posted a quote
February 20, 2014 10:04pm UTC

what's it called when you murder your friend?homiecide.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points

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Best Murder Quotes Ever