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Status: My life is boring.

Member Since: 27 Jun 2013 03:15pm

Last Seen: 7 Feb 2014 02:45pm

Location: London

Gender: F

user id: 364436

36 Quotes
279 Favorites
19 Following
14 Followers
7 Comment Points
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Sam
i
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okay*
posted a quote
November 16, 2013 1:25pm UTC

Rabbit: Can you tie a knot?
Piglet: I cannot.
Rabbit: So! You can knot?
Piglet: No! I can not knot.
Pooh: Knot knot? Who's there?
Rabbit: Pooh!
Pooh: Pooh? Pooh who?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

okay*
posted a quote
November 10, 2013 10:44am UTC

When you enter the bathroom you're,
American.
When you leave the bathroom you're,
American.
When you're in the bathroom,
European.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 36 points

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posted a quote
October 25, 2013 4:13pm UTC

holy sheep i dont remember like 92% of 2013
.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points

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posted a quote
October 25, 2013 4:03pm UTC

things to do when you're bored;
1. find a fly.
2.put the fly in the freezer for ten mins.
3.get the fly out, it will be unconcious, not dead.
4.put a strand of string around the fly
5.wait till it wakes
AND BAM! YOUR VERY OWN PET FLY.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 53 points

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posted a quote
September 28, 2013 5:08pm UTC

"Did I invite you to my barbecue?"
"No.."
"Then why you all up in my grill?"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

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posted a quote
September 28, 2013 4:47pm UTC

Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon.
Neil A. Backwards is 'Alien.'
Coincidence? Yh, I think not.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

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posted a quote
September 28, 2013 4:10pm UTC

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves!
Just kidding, I don't really know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points

okay*
posted a quote
September 28, 2013 4:07pm UTC

I just unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter, I'm now pretty sure she might write a song about it or something.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

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posted a quote
September 25, 2013 3:52pm UTC

Son: Dad! Dad! Come quick! There's a monster under my bed!!
Father: Enjoy it while you can son, after a few years, the monster will start sleeping in your bed.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

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posted a quote
September 25, 2013 3:49pm UTC

So in my English class this boy was all like, "ugh, I hate the quiet kids." & then this REALLY REALLY REALLY quiet kid just stood up and said "WELL NO BODY PLANS A MURDER OUT LOUD DO THEY???!!!!?!?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 36 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 4:13pm UTC

I hate how if your quote doesn't have a nice font, it will get ignored. YOU FONTAPHOBIC PEOPLE.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 3:26pm UTC

A day without sunshine is, well, night I guess.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 3:23pm UTC

Your just jealous that the voices are talking to me and not you.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 3:16pm UTC

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 2:56pm UTC

When my clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 2:53pm UTC

I think I should learn sign language. It looks pretty handy.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 2:36pm UTC

witty notifications, are so much more exciting than Facebook notifications.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 2:33pm UTC

imagine if, every time you refreshed the page, you got a new notification…

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 2:15pm UTC

*To the tune of Jingle Bells*
Dashing through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
Over the hills I go
Crashing into trees
The snow is turning red
I think I might be dead
I wake up in the hospital
With stitches on my head
911, 911, please take me away
Oh what fun it is to ride
In an ambulance all day!
nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points

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posted a quote
September 22, 2013 1:44pm UTC

If everyone from Witty reposts things from Tumblr, then why doesn't everyone from Witty just make a Tumblr?
Grr these things just keep me up at night.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points