Best Duh Quotes Today

Cammie
posted a quote
June 10, 2013 2:24pm UTC

When I have a boy I’ll name him ‘SPARTA’
so everytime i’m introducing him to someone I can shout "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 123 points

WeAreTheBoys
posted a quote
April 30, 2013 6:54pm UTC

I should be a waste collector.
Apparently I'm really good at picking up trash.

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*silvergirl*
posted a quote
July 30, 2013 11:57am UTC

You can buy anything at Walmart
•cookies
•skirts
•meat
•bread
•dresses
•movies
•virgin blood
•gift cards

👍 this is good · read the comments · 21 points

doublesidedice
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 11:41pm UTC

I'm a f.cking actress.

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Vinita*
posted a quote
September 8, 2013 6:35pm UTC

It is scientifically proven that people who have birthdays live longer.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points

PrimarilyParamore*
posted a quote
December 18, 2013 9:50pm UTC

♥♥♥
Somethings just,
somethings just
make sense
and one
of those
Is
You and i.
♥♥♥
-Paramore
"Still into You"|Paramore
-

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

alisonDB21
posted a quote
April 22, 2013 1:16am UTC

"Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you'll land among the stars"
No.
Because if you don't land on the moon, you're not gonna land anywhere, you're gonna fall to your death.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 16 points

GhostTown
posted a quote
January 12, 2015 5:40pm UTC

*At school*.
Me: Is the test hard?
Teacher: Not for me.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

mtndewhm*
posted a quote
February 14, 2013 8:39pm UTC

Awh? You don't like me?
Take a number and get in line behind
all the other people waiting for me to
give a flying f*ck.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

bunnylover43
posted a quote
March 4, 2013 5:16pm UTC

I do this thing where I type up some of my homework
like for social studies we have to do work out of the text book
and people are always like
"why do you type up your homework"
and all i am thinking is while they were spending over an hour writing there homework and getting answers out of the text book,
I spent 20 minutes copying and pasting answer from google...
It so easier that way.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

xxiloveyou123
posted a quote
January 31, 2013 8:42pm UTC

"Message sending failed. Would you like to retry?"
Duh,I was sending it for a reason!
lolsotrue

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

*•°¯`••songbird••´¯°•*
posted a quote
January 6, 2014 12:30pm UTC

Take your age
Add 5 to it.and then subtract 5 from it..that's your present age

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

tapangam
posted a quote
July 12, 2014 11:02am UTC

When you post a new quote on Witty and it gets no likes
and then you reaize its 4AM..

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

pluto*
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 12:32pm UTC

"Why don't you ever start the conversation?"
Cause I don't want to have a conversation.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points

tacosliketoparty
posted a quote
June 20, 2013 4:29pm UTC

At the bus stop last weekend
Girl: Has the bus came yet?
Me Mentally: If the bussfucking came, do you really think I'd be standing here in the freezing cold like a total drowned monkey?
Me: Nope.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points