Witty Profiles

alisonDB21

1. alisonDB21
   posted a quote
   August 16, 2013 5:24pm UTC
   i like to say 'excuse me' when i'm like 7 ft away from someone just to
   let them know in advance to get the hell out of my way
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
2. alisonDB21
   posted a quote
   August 9, 2013 6:06pm UTC
   All the world is made of faith, trust, and pizza crust.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points
3. alisonDB21
   posted a quote
   July 30, 2013 1:05am UTC
   I put the ate in chocolate
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 35 points
4. alisonDB21
   posted a quote
   June 21, 2013 10:18am UTC
   Me: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
   My friend: What?
   Me: It becomes daytrogen.
   Her: I'm going to bed.
   Me: Good nitrogen.
   Me: Sleep tightrogen.
   Me: Don't let the bed bugs bitrogen.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points
5. alisonDB21
   posted a quote
   May 31, 2013 1:14am UTC
   Cereal for breakfast. Cereal for lunch.
   Sort of fitting since I'm still in my pajamas.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points
6. alisonDB21
   posted a quote
   May 13, 2013 1:17pm UTC
   I get to go to Chicago!!
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points
7. alisonDB21
   posted a quote
   May 2, 2013 9:07pm UTC
   Does anyone else get a really
   dirty image in their head
   when seeing someone use
   a shakeweight?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
8. alisonDB21
   posted a quote
   May 2, 2013 2:51am UTC
   PROCRASINATORS UNITE...
   Tomorrow.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
9. alisonDB21
   posted a quote
   April 30, 2013 10:47am UTC
   A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-ELEMENO-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
10. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 29, 2013 6:36pm UTC
    sometimes, when i'm eating,
    and my dogs run over to me
    and start begging for food
    i like to just stare them straight
    in their eyes until i'm done eating.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
11. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 29, 2013 2:09am UTC
    i used to be shy
    now i'm just socially awkward
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
12. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 29, 2013 2:00am UTC
    iTunes has it all wrong,
    the hottest single of the year is me.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
13. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 3:10am UTC
    How to be happy:
    1. Drink 1lt. water.
    2. Wait till you want to pee.
    3. Wait another two hours.
    4. Pee
    It works!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
14. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2013 4:34pm UTC
    "Nobody ever listens to me."
    -Yellow Traffic Light
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 22 points
15. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2013 2:12am UTC
    My friend: What's your least favorite race? Black or...?
    Me: Human.
    Her: *laughs*
    Me: ...
    Her: *Still laughing*
    Me: It's funny, 'cause you thought I was kidding..
    Her: ...
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points
16. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2013 12:25am UTC
    "Swag swag swag on you, chillin' by the fire while we eatin' fondue"
    has to be just about the stupidest lyrics I've ever heard.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points
17. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 22, 2013 1:16am UTC
    "Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you'll land among the stars"
    No.
    Because if you don't land on the moon, you're not gonna land anywhere, you're gonna fall to your death.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 16 points
18. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2013 5:54pm UTC
    Michael Jackson and Voldemort
    would make a hot couple.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
19. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 16, 2013 11:12am UTC
    Guns don't kill people, people kill people
    (But guns make it much easier)
    Please don't take offense to this.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
20. alisonDB21
    posted a quote
    April 16, 2013 11:10am UTC
    IF GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE
    DOES THAT MEAN THAT TOASTERS DON'T TOAST TOAST,
    TOAST TOAST TOAST
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles