HalleBerryHallelujah

Join Witty Profiles!

Status: Lesbian

Member Since: 26 Jun 2013 08:50pm

Last Seen: 21 Jul 2013 09:29pm

Location: The Jungle

Gender: F

user id: 364362

77 Quotes
0 Favorites
1 Following
17 Followers
31 Comment Points
Comments
Comments on Quotes
Comments by User
Quote Comments by User
Flair ^beta

follow block report

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 9:38pm UTC

grammar.
The difference between
feeling your nuts
and
feeling you're nuts.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 9:34pm UTC

i said "K."
But what I really meant was
"Go f♥ck yourself."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 9:23pm UTC

if anyone
Ever texts me, "Who is this?"
I always respond,
"Jake from State Farm."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 8 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 9:05pm UTC

"awesome"
ends in "me"
Coincidence?
I think not.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 1:36pm UTC

wanna freak out your neighbors?
Name your WiFi
"FBI Surveillance Van 7".

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 17, 2013 6:09pm UTC

it's all
Sh♥ts and giggles
until someone giggles and sh♥ts.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 17, 2013 4:57pm UTC

i'm on the
"I don't give a f♥ck" diet.
I've lost ten as♥holes already.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 17, 2013 4:51pm UTC

dear life
When I asked,
"Could this day get any worse?"
it was a rhetorical question,
not a challenge.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 17, 2013 8:09am UTC

this isn't a bakery
We don't sugarcoat sh♥t.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 17, 2013 8:02am UTC

i have a bad case
Of the f♥ck-its.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 10:56pm UTC

if someone
Hates you for no reason,
give that motherf♥cker a reason.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 4:24pm UTC

my bathing suit
Told me to go to the gym,
but my sweatpants were like
'nah girl, you're good.'

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 3:34pm UTC

a haiku about getting out of bed
no no no no no,
no no no no no no no,
no no no no no.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 3:25pm UTC

i'm fluent in three languages
English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 3:04pm UTC

lesson one:
Only trust people who like big butts.
They cannot lie.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 2:57pm UTC

no officer,
My speech isn't slurred.
I'm just talking in cursive.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 2:44pm UTC

my boyfriend is like a trampoline
I don't have a trampoline.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 2:23pm UTC

you are what you eat
That's funny. I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 12:44pm UTC

i wasn't aware
That answering my mom's question was considered talking back.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 51 points

HalleBerryHallelujah
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 12:38pm UTC

when a website
Asks if I read all the "Terms and Conditions".
Ain't nobody got time for that!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points