Comebacks Quotes

pangerit
posted a quote
November 25, 2014 8:42pm UTC

"Go to sleep sweetheart. Pray for brains."
Golden Girls
-Dorothy-

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pangerit
posted a quote
November 25, 2014 8:30pm UTC

"I'd slap you, but that'd be animal abuse."

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Fat Amy*
posted a quote
August 3, 2014 11:18pm UTC

Every 'kiss' begins with 'k'But too bad because 'ugly' begins with 'u'

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AtmosFEAR
posted a quote
July 15, 2014 9:04pm UTC

one time in sixth grade this girl was getting bullied really bad and the whole lunchroom was gathered around her, and the girl who was bullying her smirked and said "you dumb rich btch", and the girl stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of her pocket, handing it to the bully, and saying "buy some better insults" and i swear the whole lunch room rioted

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happiest*
posted a quote
February 21, 2014 3:36pm UTC

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice

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writtenrain*
posted a quote
February 3, 2014 7:16pm UTC

"If you break your leg, don't come running to me"
Yes well if I broke my leg I wouldn't be running anywhere, now would I?

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Bitter_Sweet
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 11:00am UTC

I've heard snappier comebacks from a bowl of rice crispies.

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ChickenFillets
posted a quote
October 14, 2013 1:08pm UTC

Witty has taught me so many amazing comebacks

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Rolita07*
posted a quote
October 7, 2013 3:38am UTC

Some rude girl: lol you're about as pointless as a white crayon!
Me: actually the white crayon is the least used crayon so it has an extrremely fine point!

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SarahLee3494
posted a quote
September 10, 2013 10:42pm UTC

Next time a black person calls me cracker, I'm going to be like "Actually,you can't call me a cracker. Only we can call each other crackers. You can say, 'cracka', but not 'cracker'."

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HappyCriminal
posted a quote
August 22, 2013 8:34am UTC

Ermm Excuse my I think you dropped your IQ

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dunner*
posted a quote
August 18, 2013 1:38am UTC

Friend: *obviously spacing out while whole class is doing work*
Teacher: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!
Friend: *shocked* Nothing Miss..
Teacher: EXACTLY!

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Pudding007
posted a quote
August 17, 2013 9:31pm UTC

that akward moment when you think of an amazing comeback three days after the argument -_-

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borinq
posted a quote
August 15, 2013 5:29am UTC

i'm not random
i just think faster than you

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Rolita07*
posted a quote
July 2, 2013 7:55am UTC

Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Suspect: "No, a bullet killed him.Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground.The ground is part of nature.
He died of natural causes.Case closed."

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happiest*
posted a quote
June 29, 2013 2:33pm UTC

Awesome Comebacks
Them: Bite me.
You: Nahh, I'm not a fan of your flavor.
Why don't you just pull a Michael Jackson and "Beat It?!!?!"
Them: C'MON LETS GO.
You: Is my name V?
Them: No....
You: Than why would you think I would follow U?
Them: Wow, did you even look in the mirror this morning?
You: Well at least my mirror doesn't start laughing when I look in it. Too bad you can't say the same for yourself....
Them: You're Ugly.
You: Compared to what people say about you...thanks...that means a lot.(:
Them: You're fat.
You: Well hun, I can simply go on weight watchers and change that. But I'm pretty sure the only thing that can help you is a paper bag.
Them: You're so tall! How's the weather up there?
You: (Spits) It's raining.

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DeathOfASon
posted a quote
June 26, 2013 6:11pm UTC

I don't know how people come up with Witty comebacks right on the spot.
Like I need a three days notice.

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Rolita07*
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 6:53pm UTC

Annoying Friend:- Hey where are we gonna hang out today your place or mine?
Me:- Both.You go to your place, I'll go to mine.

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theinfinitejar
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 8:57am UTC

Mean Person: You're fat.
Me: Well, when the nuclear winter comes, I'm going to hide in my bunker and live off of my body fat.
Me: And laugh while you starve to death.
Mean Person: You have no friends.
Me: That means that when I have achieved world domination, I won't have to share the power with anyone.
Me: And that means that they won't be able to stop me from exiling you to a remote desert island in the middle of the Pacific.
Mean Person: You're stupid.
Me: When the zombie apocalypse arrives, I'll hide in my bunker and laugh because zombies only eat brains. Which means that they'll ignore me.
Me: So they'll eat your brains.
Me: Since you're obviously highly intelligent.

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365days*
posted a quote
June 12, 2013 1:40am UTC

Boy: Why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me?
Me: Because rollercoasters actually make me scream

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