hello.
i was an active user on this website in middle school, and just
remembered it.
if there is anyone left here, please take this post to heart.
if you visit my profile and read my last post, it explains how
much i loved this site.
it also details in about how i felt the last time i logged in,
about a year and a half ago.
yes, i was an oblivious middle schooler on this site at
first.
but, even so, i was still very niave in my last post.
i wrote:
"but this year 2014, I fell for a guy who loved me
back.
Or so i thought.
He was bad for me, but I was too oblivious to see
it.
He took my virginity, turned me against friends, encouraged me to
try bad things and sneak around with him.... even got me pregnant
which ended in miscarriage.
we broke up.
I still dont quite understand the meaning of love, im only
16.
But compared to what I wrote about in middle school, I have
experienced a whole different world of
relationships.
My eyes have been opened to the realities of the
world.
I have struggled with depression, self harm.
etc...
And its sad because things used to be so different."
...
yes, i experienced all of those things and it sucked.
but i feel sick reading that back, because 16 is even so young to
think i had it all figured out.
i didn't know love in middle school, and i didn't know
love at 16.
i just graduated high school and just since the beginning of
2016,
i did learn the true meaning of love.
i met a boy and had a genuine relationship.
we spent everyday together, with family, enjoying the
simplicities of life.
we made love, we grew together, we helped each other through
personal struggles.
we were bound at the hip and nothing made us happier than each
other.
in this relationship, i also endured something no one should ever
have to experience.
i got a call in the middle of the night, from my boyfriend's
mom.
he had secretly been suicidal and attempted to jump out in front
of a speeding car.
he was detained and checked into a mental hospital facility for
10 days.
during that time, i comforted his mother and friends.
i brought them all back together and pieced his life together
while he was away.
i sacrificed my own commitments to be there to take him home.
when he exited that building and i looked into his eyes, holding
his hand the whole ride home,
i saw the whole world within his deep brown eyes.
his smile and laugh, the lights back on in his soul shining
through his eyes,
the sunset glimmering in the distance,
all of the pain and struggles of that horrid week were worth
it,
just for that moment of seeing the purity of his happiness with
me and the world we live in.
that's when i found love.
i couldn't have asked for anything more in the world in that
moment.
my chest was poundng, with my heart so full of pride and
love.
i had dreamed at age 13 on witty profiles,
and again at 16...
of finding the true meaning of love,
and experiencing something much bigger than myself and the
materialistic physical world.
i found it.
and while things didn't ultimately work out with that boy,
i've accepted that it's okay.
that's a form of love too.
enjoying each other in the moments that you are given
together,
then being mature enough to decide what is right for your future,
together or apart.
he will always be my first love.
and i know that my 13 year old self
would have fallen apart and given up on love after reading my 18
year old self's love story,
but she has now realized that life is beautiful because it
presents many chances for that pure love.
never give up on finding it again.
0
reply
Katemira · 7 years ago
0
reply
Im back on here too, I started in middle school as well. My lifes been really similar to yours. Thought id get back on witty and its still one of my favourite sites