and all it would take is one difficult day and i'm back to square one. i'll trail behind you today, please pretend you don't notice. i'll be extra distant today, please pretend you don't notice. i'm just embarassed, that's all. i only wanted to show you the pretty sides of me, but today i'm feeling like my old self.
IF 👏🏼 YOUR 👏🏼 SIGNIFICANT 👏🏼 OTHER 👏🏼 STRUGGLES 👏🏼 WITH 👏🏼 ANXIETY 👏🏼 AND 👏🏼 NEEDS 👏🏼 CONSTANT 👏🏼 REASSURANCE 👏🏼 DON'T 👏🏼 MAKE 👏🏼 THEM 👏🏼 FEEL 👏🏼 LIKE 👏🏼 A 👏🏼 BURDEN 👏🏼 JUST 👏🏼 GIVE 👏🏼 THEM 👏🏼 THAT 👏🏼 REASSURANCE 👏🏼
how i spent my morning. lonely in a crowded room. averting eyes and questions. nodding along and politely smiling. glancing at twitter to help time fly faster. stiff neck from looking down too long. sore knees from taking the long way round...out of anyone's way. making mistakes. endlessly apologising. coming home. soothing myself.
when i think about it, i still get nervous. i'll believe things always work out for me. life now happens for me and not to me. positive thoughts and intentions. but i'll be honest with myself. my chest feels heavy from time to time. an anxious thought rests on my chest then leaves when it's ready. this time too, i know it will subside. just wish it would never settle here to begin with.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•Only a smart and affectionate teacher can influence his students and direct them to the right paths.•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
at times when im resting like this, i feel it. a stray thought is a large enough trigger. a small breeze that will leave my chest feeling tight and heart heavy. happiness exists in between these stray thoughts. it is shortlived but it exists. it is shortlived but i will work hard to extend the happy period. the happy to anxious ratio will favour the bright side. i won't give up. this tight feeling is no longer welcome. today is my life. a happy life won't knock on my door. i need to build the house at happiness's doorstep instead. building the life i want begins with building habits that will get me there. i'm progressing, i refuse to be stagnant.