"Puddles and Ponds" 8/17/18 10:45pm Salty water has never fallen so fast, creating puddles into ponds. Her smile breaks to a frown, she wonders, "Where'd it go wrong?" He spoke the words she didn't think he'd speak so soon. Time stops, her breath drops, her heart flatlines. Those glorious ponds turn into an ocean. No more land to walk on, only to swim in. How salty this water is, is shriveling her inside and out. Oh, how much she can't wait to bring that lovely smile she once had, the one she didn't need to show in a while. She dives in head first, hits a rock and knocks out unconscious. Regains, remembers...restarts T'was that special thing we have nowadays. Something people nowadays "can't live without". No, not a beating heart, No, not a living person, But a charged cellphone. It makes sense, y'know? Cuz of the distance? And then my situation? It makes sense. I'd understand...Kind of. The clouds move carelessly, letting the Sun breathe upon us once again. The ocean is evaporating immensely, ponds are decreasing, puddles are becoming wetless. But the weather's forecast said, "We'll be back later tonight To keep you updated over the weather that'll be back as well" ~WIGBM
*Freedom* posted a quote
August 17, 2018 11:59am EDT
Maybe I have fallen numb to the chirping of the birds early mornings, since I do not remember the last time they annoyed me. Rather they caused such a heavy weight to fall upon my heart, reminding me that I returned to consciousness, and was stolen from the illusion that consisted of dreams I wished my life reflected. Even the rays from the sunlight passing by the curtains and exploring my room, did not brighten my gaze, instead a long sigh escaped my mouth. I was alive. I was alive, one would say with excitement. Or rather, I am alive, correct? However, the feeling of being alive, I don't remember it, nor have I felt it in long years.
Letters to you JH, You're a real comfort to me. I think i can have the strength to go on now. You're so nice. I have work in the morning, i hope it is a good work day. I miss you like always. Rest well.
Canadian Babe❤ 3:52 PM (Name) i love you and i think about you every second of the day waiting for the moments i get to talk to you i get anxious for the time i know you'll be back or when you'll be able to talk. I can't fill a void in my heart especially if its you thats in my heart. Those 5 days were rough and hard to deal with because i didnt know what i did wrong and i just wanted closure that i never got so i got mad and annoyed which led me to saying "im used to it" which i wasnt. These 5 days i wanted to tell you everything and was waiting for the times i was able to talk to you and unfortunately that was 15min before i had to give my phone in which sucked even more because all i wanted to do was talk to my girlfriend and tell her how everything is going even tho she doesn't understand anything i say when it's about hockey
Throw away all your memories of me. I let go a long time ago. Throw away everything i gave you. I stopped caring a while ago anyway. I want to get rid of everything. I wanted to purposely throw it away for you to see. The pressed flower painting that you gifted me. The long necklace-like beads. They were precious to me at first. I wanted to keep them to look back at when i'm feeling nostalgic. But not even for that. Throw away everything I gave you, the poncho, the gas money. Throw it all away. I wish I didn't give you anything. If I could go back, I would throw you away too.
Letters to you, JH; Each day brings a new challenge. I passed all my exams. I did better than i expected. I'm not that dumb afterall. The happiness was shortlived I don't know what to hang around for anymore. I hate this. When i passed, i thought things would get better. When i got a job i thought things would get better. When i lost weight, i thought the same too. I guess it's all just mental. It's probably never that bad, but each day feels worse than the one before. Anyway. I'll find something new to look forward to i guess.
I just want you to know what you did wrong and apologise wholeheartedly. I'll forgive you. I know i'll forgive you even if you apologise without knowing what you did wrong. But you can't just say it for show. If you don't get it, history will repeat itself. I hate it when you reach out to me. If you're not sorry then what's the point. I had a long morning that day. I was happy to see you after a long day. Why'd you have to go and make me the bad guy? Now I purposely hang back later, avoid your gaze, your questions. Why are you curious all of a sudden? I don't want to pick a fight, but everytime you ask why i'm mad, it's like you're trying it. I told you what you did wrong, you brush it off. I told you it wouldn't be the same after, so why are you doing this? I've never seen you cry this much, but i've never cared any less. I think time will fix this. I'll speak to you again soon, it won't be awkward for you anymore. But for now...for now that's a distant dystopia.
Letters to you, JH; It seems my life is a series of me working really hard then burning myself to the ground. I'm currently in the working really hard phase. I just started up again so I don't have the luxury of slowing down, but yeah. I just know i'll flip the swich soon enough. A close friend asked me how i'd lost the weight recently. I told her what she wanted to hear. I miss you a lot, btw. The moments where i don't think about you are very rare. Especially lately. I'm not speaking to my parents. I don't mind favouritism, but theirs' is unconditional. They think she can do no wrong, while I've been asked why i'm being like this, as if I'm not the one constantly being hurt. Anyway, i miss you a lot. I'm a little mad at you, but still. I hope you're doing well.