My memories are being reshuffled, all that's left is grey. Was it a good childhood, were they good friendships? Did I enjoy the life I lived? At the time, was I happy? Content at least? Surely I was happy at some point. I can't have lived my whole life without colour. But when I look back...I keep looking back. All that's left is grey. Small flashes that I thought I could forget by now, some are revisited as I try to rest. They resurface and before I can wish it away a tear has already sunken into my pillow. Makes me wonder if everyone lives like this. If my tears were always this salty. If I was just supposed to keep living like this. I keep telling myself one day at a time. One of these days it'll get better. Each day breaks me in a new way, but it just has to get better. God is fair. If it wasn't for that then I couldn't breathe let alone sigh a minute longer.
You think you’ve seen her naked because she took her clothes off? Tell me about her dreams. Tell me what breaks her heart. What is she passionate about, and what makes her cry? Tell me about her childhood. Better yet, tell me one story about her that you’re not in.You’ve seen her skin, and you’ve touched her body. But you still know as much about her as a book you once found, but never got around to opening.
Hello, hello, hello, I want to be together Just the two of us until morning comes. Hello, hello, hello, I want to love, You and me, just the two of us. without thinking, I think about you. - Without thinking : 2PM
you would be so surprised. i would get to you in time. before the moonlight fades and the new sun rises. before you can even take the first breath, i'd appear. you would be so surprised. looking for your secret place. if i took this turn and peer through this window, can i still see it? your cheeks, ears, nose, mouth. before this evening ends, i would see the look in your eyes. you would be so surprised.
We can't change the cards we're dealt – but we can pretend to suddenly have a seizure and collapse on top of the card table, scattering everyone's cards everywhere (though usually not more than once per card game).
"Every scar, every wound, every ache inside of you is a story. And stories are the wildest, most powerful things of all. Because stories can build galaies or make entire universes break and bleed and fall." - Nikita Gill, You Are Made of Stories
Grey ceiling 2 cm above my head. Once I cracked through it the sky above was also grey. The glass roof that loomed over me for all these years...it was made of glass all along. Not cement. It weighed on my shoulders like a slab of concrete. Gross grey colour it drove me mad, why was it so hard to break through? Now I'm out in the open. I can see it for what it was. But the sky is still grey. The clouds are fortified with more tears than I could ever hold. I don't want to move. I feel like if I take a step in any direction the downpour will be too much for me. I want to crawl back into my concrete box. It's scarier outside. I wish I knew earlier the outside was just as bad. I should have known better than to seek help. The grey is slowly turning darker and I regret ever wanting better for myself. I was miserable inside but at least I wasn't scared for my life. Scared for my life. It's pitch black and I'm scared for my life. I don't understand. Why was the glass ceiling glass. Why is the sky so black. and since when did I care so much about my life that I'm afraid to lose it? Is this the lesson. Am I supposed to be scared straight now? I don't know who I'd be if I wanted to live beyond this. Wanting more dragged me into this. I should have been happy in my tiny depressing world. I was so comfortable there. Miserable and suicidal yes...but I had found comfort in that. A part of me wanted more still. That part of me hatched away at the glass that felt like concrete. It's still hard. But if I was really as comfortable as I'm trying to manipulate myself into thinking I was, then I would not be here. I can't ever let myself be comfortable again. Here on out my comfort zone is synonymous to danger zone.
ways to feel more feminine ~ wear a pretty outfit ~ tie a ribbon in your hair ~ spend time with children and animals ~ bake something for someone ~ buy flowers for your room ~ listen to vintage music or movie soundtracks ~ spritz some lavender or rose oil on your sheets ~ wear dainty jewelry ~ take a bubble bath ~ paint with water colors ~ give a little extra care for someone today
The most dangerous time for an abused women is when she leaves. The abuser will try to make her sound to be the problem. He will try to turn people against her. He will make sure that he has a reason she has to communicate with him. He will try to manipulate get and everyone aroumd her that she knows and loves. When he realizes that the " I LOVE YOUS" and the " I AM SORRYS" aren't working it turns to violence. Then he's sorry again and loves you. The hardest part knowing this will happen and knowing YOU HAVE TO GO.... YOU DO NOT HAVE A CHOICE. Some people don't understand that. Knowing you WILL go through this without who was your best amd maybe only friend is a lot of the reason women don't leave. We are victimized by them everyday (in ways we never knew were possible) by both them amd the community. In a way.... It would have been earlier to stay. You know how you are going to be victimized. You can see it coming. When you leave and after you leave.... There is no end to the harassment they inflict on people. Please remember this when you find out someone was victimized. Definitely keep an open mind when you hear a story and put yourself in their shoes as much as possible.
Our task is to transform ourselves into awakened multidimensional beings Thus fully merging the fourth and fifth dimensions into the third It is the inner union between Earth ascending and Heaven descending This sacred merger has already been achieved by many of us And numerous others are awakening daily as the Call steadfastly intensifies We are reclaiming our Divine Birthright and Heritage Remembering that we are Angels incarnate, vast starry beings of Light Who are no longer limited and bound by the illusions of time, space and matter We are ready to join as emanations of the One The new doorways cannot be opened or passed through By any of us still operating as individual beings of consciousness They are brought into manifestation through our Unified Presence Through our focused intent Through our total commitment to serving our Higher Purpose This is the bridge to an entirely different energy patterning It is the step beyond the known dimensional universe It is a journey into the unknown which shall lead us ever closer to home.
You can choose a ready guide In some celestial voice If you choose not to decide You still have made a choice You can choose from phantom fears And kindness that can kill I will choose a path that's clear I will choose free will