i'm scared of everything i have worked for amounting to nothing. in one cold sweep, a wind could take it all. i keep my head down. gravel beneath my knees keeping my senses on high alert. the fear of it all being for nothing, i bury it for a while. i will meet it at a dead end street. when i turn this back on myself and fall to my knees again. i will face this thought more frequently until it is tame. until the pulse beneath my fingers has settled.
Idk who needs to hear this but...if you’re thinking about giving up, remember in 2 years you could be marrying someone you haven’t met yet. In 2 years you could have a job at a company you haven’t heard of that makes you happy. In 2 years you could be on your way to buying a home you never thought you could afford. In 2 seconds could be happy again. In 20 years you could be watching your kids growing up. But you’ll never know unless you get there. If you want to give up don’t. Take a nap. Gather yourself and remember it’s a bad time not a bad life, you’ll get through this.
Beautiful girl, when you are finished falling, after you hit rock bottom and watch yourself come apart into a million pieces, no one is staying to help you collect yourself, no one is sticking around to pick through your pieces to decide which parts of you are worth keeping. That’s for you to decide. So stay down for as long as you need to. This is the most important part. Take your time. Pay attention. You already broke. So the easy part is over. Go slow.... I know, you thought the breaking was the most painful chapter. It wasn’t. Turn the page. The next part is much longer. It’s the healing. The rise. The comeback. It’s the birth of the new you. And it’s not easy. But you are strong and brave and worth it. You’ll have to leave a lot of yourself behind, you’ll have to let go of all the parts of you that you’ve outgrown. We’re not making ourselves small anymore. We’re not bending to fit where we don’t belong anymore. Do you hear me? We’re going all in. Count your wounds, every scar ripped open, every drop of blood you bled like a promise, every tear you cried like a bet in the name of crossing your whole heart, your whole soul, was all for this moment. Right here. Right now. You had to hurt like that to get here to this version of you who knows exactly who she is, who she’s not, who she will never be again. Drop the apologies, babe. We’re not sorry anymore for who we are, we’re not sorry for what we had to do to get here, and we’re not sorry for the time it took to learn our worth. Step out of the box of all you were supposed to be, according to everyone who wasn’t you, and walk into the you, who’s comfortable in her own skin. It’s time. You earned it. We no longer wear the expectations of anyone else and we no longer let anyone else decide what we’re worth. Because we know now. We finally know. And now it’s time to celebrate it. Get up, babe. It does not hurt anymore. Now go show YOU what you’re made of.
What Would Your Life Be Like With No Regrets? Let me ask you, if your life ended tomorrow what would you regret not doing? What would you regret not saying? We all have things we wish we would have done at some point in our life. We all have wished to be something more. To have done something more. And that’s the problem, we wish. We wish for the things that never came easy to us. We wish for life to have handed us the things we longed for. We wish and never receive because we are not proactive. We do not put in enough effort to make our desires a reality. A beautiful life does not come with no cost. A meaningful life does not come with no pain. Your life is designed and built with all you have endured. It is built with your accomplishments, with your failures, and with your fears. Your life is the outcome of your willingness to meet vulnerability with dedication. Your life is the sum of the experiences you let yourself experience. If tomorrow was the end, the things you are going to regret are the things that you never let yourself do. The things you are going to regret are the words you never let yourself say. The things you are going to regret are going to be the places you never let yourself go to. You will regret not allowing yourself to be worthy of living the life you have always pictured. You will regret not seizing every opportunity life threw at you. You will regret living with regrets. So, when tomorrow comes, start everything you have said you would have started and make a plan to conquer every evil that resides in your head, because you are the single biggest influence in your life, and whether you flounder or flourish is in your hands.
She is holding on, but barely. Gripping whatever she can to keep it together for another day. She doesn't think about next week or next month, just today. That's what she tells herself. That's how she's gone this long. Just keep it together, Today.
...News... i'm 18! March 7. Writing this on 4/14/20 late af lol It wasn't easy getting to where i am now, i will admit. I'm definitely happier than i have been in years. 🎔 ⁀⋱‿WIGBM ‿⋰⁀ 🎔 I'm currently 1 year, 6 months and 25+ days clean. My biggest accomplishment. ❥‿⋰⁀ 🎔 A quote i've been going by for a while now is, "Remember and appreciate the small, good things in life. You'll smile more." ❥‿⋰⁀ 🎔 Something I think I really want to say is, "K, I miss you. It'll be our 2 years anniversary on the 30th of this month, April. It's been a year, 3 months, and 23+ days since we lost connection. Please. Come back. I doubt you'll ever see this, but i just need to know you're okay. I miss you. More than anything and anybody. I told you you're irreplaceable. Hell, I wont even use your heart on anybody else. I miss you. I love you. Always and literally forever. I promised, and this is a promise i can't break because I emotionally will never get over you. You've been my best friend forever. I miss you. Come back. Please. Come back for me... ❥‿⋰⁀ 🎔 I wanted to thank everyone especially. This is my therapy when I couldnt talk to anyone. This was my diary, even though its all online and for the world to see. I'll still come by time to time. I'm almost done with high-school and things are just weird, but we're getting to our goals. ❥‿⋰⁀ 🎔 In, other words... I'm proud of myself. 🎔 ⁀⋱‿WIGBM ‿⋰⁀ 🎔
Our task is to transform ourselves into awakened multidimensional beings Thus fully merging the fourth and fifth dimensions into the third It is the inner union between Earth ascending and Heaven descending This sacred merger has already been achieved by many of us And numerous others are awakening daily as the Call steadfastly intensifies We are reclaiming our Divine Birthright and Heritage Remembering that we are Angels incarnate, vast starry beings of Light Who are no longer limited and bound by the illusions of time, space and matter We are ready to join as emanations of the One The new doorways cannot be opened or passed through By any of us still operating as individual beings of consciousness They are brought into manifestation through our Unified Presence Through our focused intent Through our total commitment to serving our Higher Purpose This is the bridge to an entirely different energy patterning It is the step beyond the known dimensional universe It is a journey into the unknown which shall lead us ever closer to home.