If you've ever wondered why Disney tales all end in lies, here's what happened after all their dreams came true.
Ariel: I loved being a princess down in the beautiful ocean blue. But mermaids are gonig missing, they end up in someone's stew. So just try to put your self into somebody else's kills. You're killing my ecosystem with fishing and oil spills. Thank you BP, thank you BP. The British are killing, oil is spilling. Now I can't see. My eyes! Chinamen feast on flounder's fins. Plus the Japanese killed all my whale friends. Oceans are browning, I think I'm drowning, thanks to BP. You s.uck!
Jasmine: Hey, I'm okay. But I'm slightly scared. My husband's a mark for the war on terror. Aladdin was taken by the CIA. We're not Taliban, you've got the wrong man in Guantanamo Bay! Prince Ali, where could he be? Drowning in wa wa? Interogation from the nation of the "free". Bin Laden's taken the fall. We're not trained pilots at all. Jafar went crazy and no one put up a fuss. We're for freedom, Genie can vouch for us. Bush was crazy. Obama's lazy. al-Qaeda's not in this country. Set free my Prince Ali!
Belle: This town's gone wild since I married Adam. They think I'm going straight to h.ell. But the charges laid on me of b.eastiality could wind up getting me thrown in a cell. No, I'm overrun by mad men, I hear they plan to burn me at the stake. They legit believe I'm S.atan and now I hear that PETA's gonna take my beast away.
Pocahontas: After John Smith travelled back to England, I helped my people cultivate the fields. More English, French, and Spaniards came to visit. And they greeted us with guns and germs and steel. They forced us into unknown lands of exile. They pillaged, r.aped, and left us all for dead. So now I'm far more liberal with a weapon when I separate their bodies from their heads. Have you ever held the entrails of an English guy? Or bit the beating hearts of Spanish men? Can you shoot an arrow in some French guy's eyeball? Can you paint with the red colors in these men? I can m.urder if I please 'cause I'm dying of disease. I can paint with the red colors in these men
Thanks to BP. Where's Prince Ali? B.eastiality. I've got S T Ds.

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