I f ucking hate life.

I wish I could just be alone.
So some time in either September or October I really liked this guy.
And I mean that I liked him for 3 years.
So one day I got a text from him asking me out.
Overjoyed I said yes and how I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The next day at school he completely ignores me.
I really didn't care but texted him after school.
Later I went on facebook and got a message from this guy
and it said "You know how _________ asked you out yesterday?"
I said yes.
He told me that it was him playing a prank on my friend and thought I'd say no.
I was sorta hurt.
But I'm not the kind of person who gets hurt easily, so I didn't care too much.
I told ________ about the facebook conversation I'd just had
and we decided just to be friends.
After a few months we kinda just stopped talking.
No big deal.
But what bothers me is how EVERY TIME I bring that guy up
my little brother and sister make fun of me
for accepting to "go out" with him.
That hurts.
How they're constantly reminding me of my mistakes
and making fun of me for my achievments.
I tell them I hate them,
because I sincerely do.
And they say "no you don't"
or tell on me to my mom like they're 8 year olds.
So there's no winning for me,
it sucks to be the oldest.
I'm constantly trying to modify my schedule so that
when my siblings are at my dad's I'm at my mom's
and vice versa.
But it's never enough.
It's like torture to be near my siblings.
You have no clue.
They've made me want to kill myself
or just do whatever else it takes to get away from life.
And they think it's all a joke.
My mom doesn't take depression seroiusly.
My brother thinks everything's a joke.
My sister's a spoiled little b/tch.
And my dad is the only understanding one.
But he lives kind of far away from me
and I can't be in a room with him for 20 minutes
without a crazy argument starting.
I just wish i was alone.

(if this confuses any of your, it's because I'm bi)

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I f ucking hate life. I wish I could just be alone. So some time

13 faves · 17 comments · Feb 21, 2013 7:36pm

PeanutTeddyBearzzz · 1 decade ago
You're beautiful, and so much stronger than them.
Talk to me if you want.xo
0 reply

AshleyRoseXoXoXo · 1 decade ago
First off killing yourself is a permanent outcome to a short term problem.If that makes sense.Your life is worth more than consistant teasing .I understand where you're coming from that your younger siblings don't understand what they are doing to you when they tease you.No good friend pulls a prank like that i'm sorry ,but that's just crossing the line.I mean obviously or hopefully he didn't know you had feelings for him but still that's a bit to far. It's a good thing your fathers is understanding it's a sign to show that he loves you.Arguing with parents in general is common. Do you still have feelings for him as more than a friend?Even though right now you guys are only friends.
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CharliesTheName · 1 decade ago
I don't like him now but with the whole killing myself thing, this isn't the only reason. There's a lot of sh/t I go through
0 reply

AshleyRoseXoXoXo · 1 decade ago
If you want to talk about it i'm here.I won't judge you or anything.Let it out
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CharliesTheName · 1 decade ago
nah I'd rather not. thanks though
0 reply

AshleyRoseXoXoXo · 1 decade ago
Okay.Welcome
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ilyhabibi* · 1 decade ago
Charlie D: I know it says you want to be alone and all but I wanted to say is that I'm sorry you had to deal with such a stupid thing. Pranks like that aren't funny at all, they hurt. But Charlie I'm always here for you if you EVER need to talk. :) Forever and always :)
0 reply

What_I_Really_Think · 1 decade ago
I'm not going to say that you can talk to me because clearly you want to be alone. But just know that when the time comes that you really, seriously want to talk about it and have someone to be with, I am ALWAYS here for you.
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CharliesTheName · 1 decade ago
Thanks for being so understanding :)
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What_I_Really_Think · 1 decade ago
It's ok, any time :)
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dragonfly26 · 1 decade ago
I'm so sorry....Nobody can really blame you. It's not like you can show emotion in texts or on facebook (I mean other than caps lock, but those are mainly used for anger). Don't worry, Karma will come back around and get back at them. Just remember, there's a whole community of Wittians who care and are always up to talk. :)
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ThisIsMe943 · 1 decade ago
I've always hated people who prank carelessly like this. I don't understand how they don't realize that they could really hurt someone. Asking someone out should never be a prank or dare or anything like that.
It causes pain and has hurt too many people already
I'm sorry this happened to you
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CharliesTheName · 1 decade ago
thanks. yeah that guy was also an a/ss. a month later he unfriended me because i was "too annoying to him" and i'm thinking "does it look like i want to even talk to you?"
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ThisIsMe943 · 1 decade ago
Aw that's terrible :( I hate how we always have to find out who we really want in our lives the hard way
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doublesidedice · 1 decade ago
My heart goes out to you...honestly my sister and mom are the same way...there's no winning...<3
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CharliesTheName · 1 decade ago
thank you so much :)
0 reply

doublesidedice · 1 decade ago
Anytime sweety...and it's a pain when siblings constantly tease you...
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I f ucking hate life. I wish I could just be alone. So some time

by

CharliesTheName

tags

vent · family · relationships · ihatelife · siblings · ihatemylife · away messages