I used to not be okay.
I used to be so not okay with myself. I was overweight and I felt disgusting in my own skin. I was so insecure and my self esteem was at a zero. Everyday I'd try. Try to feel a little okay with myself, just a little. I'd put on makeup, do my hair and get 5 sizes smaller in all my clothes to make myself appear that I wasn't overweight. I wouldn't always get along with my family or friends. I'd get bullied a lot. I'd run upstairs after school and just sob my eyes out for nearly an hour. My pillowcase would be stained with mascara, eyeliner, you name it. But the bad things started when I started to change. I was still overweight, putting on tons of makeup and being the annoying attention seeker I was, but in a way I changed. I started to try and fit in even more, and I sort of did. I became friends with the 'popular girl' and she and one of the popular guys who were on my bus were 'teaching me to be popular' and everything. I listened to every word they said, and tried to fit in. When I was kind of popular, not really popular but just a little bit I started to like this boy. I told the 'popular girl' and she told him, and started asking him questions about me while I was standing right there. She'd be like, ''do you like her?'' and he'd be like ''no way!'' and she was literally dangling him around at me. One time this really bad thing happened and I had to sit beside him in one class and that popular girl was in front of us, always turning around talking to him, and guess what she did? She told him EVERYTHING. She also got out the most embarrassing ugliest pictures of me she screenshotted on FaceTime and showed him and he was like ''Ew...'' and I just wanted to sink down there. I was still insecure and not getting along with anyone and that's when I decided to cut. I didn't find it sore at all. So I done it again and this girl found out. She badly wanted to tell someone but I made her swear that she wouldn't. I was so upset for so long. Until I started listening to this music (I'm not naming it sorry) and reading quotes by these people and I started to see the beauty of life. I haven't cut since because of it. The lyrics, the words, they made me feel like I wanted to walk on this earth. They made me feel happy inside. I no longer cared about being the perfect popular girl anymore. It made me motivated to get into shape is well, so I did. I tried out in sports and made loads of new friends. I'm not longer overweight now. I'm not really sure about my weight though, but I feel a bit more comfortable in my skin then I used to. I was suddenly carefree. I still wear a little makeup but I'm not as afraid for people to see me without it now. I now have so many amazing friends and that popular girl moved away to another school. The other boy that was teaching me to be cool, grew up since last year and we're really good friends now. The boy that I liked grew up too and we're now friends. I no longer like him and I like another boy, and someone said that he likes me back too, I'll be going to a new school and I'm going to miss my old friends so terribly but I know that I can always keep in touch, and I can't wait to make more friends. I feel so happy now, and the reason why I'm posting this is that no matter how awful, unwanted, fat, worthless, disgusting, horrible, depressed you feel. It is never too late to change, you can't be stuck like this forever. It gets better, it always does, life never puts you through something you can't handle.
Now I am okay, more than okay. Fantastic.