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Status: I tried, but it didn't work.

Member Since: 2 Jan 2013 09:11am

Last Seen: 31 Jul 2013 11:18am

Location: Ireland

Gender: F

user id: 344636

426 Favorites
38 Following
13 Comment Points
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  1. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    July 5, 2013 8:43am UTC
    Hey guys can you please follow one of my best friends she just joined witty!
    Her username is ArianaGrandeButera
    so go follow her:)

  2. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2013 11:37am UTC
    Close your eyes. What do you see?
    That's my life without you <3

  3. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2013 11:02am UTC
    North West better have a report card that says:
    ''North West has problems following directions''

  4. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2013 11:58am UTC
    Who thinks Zicky and Vicky Malik sounds adorable?

  5. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2013 8:24am UTC
    Do you think celebrities just have each others phone numbers
    and like Miley Cyrus will just text Beyonce and be like ''I want Mac and cheese so badly rn lol''

  6. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2013 8:21am UTC
    ''I was born in the wrong generation''
    I scream as I churn my own butter and marry my cousin

  7. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 18, 2013 11:48am UTC
    If the ghetto had it's own emergency number:
    -: hey, 911? Yeeaahh tis b/tch killed mah vibe
    911: aaaaaaah hell no, all units on dat target

  8. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 16, 2013 3:37pm UTC
    I used to not be okay.
    I used to be so not okay with myself. I was overweight and I felt disgusting in my own skin. I was so insecure and my self esteem was at a zero. Everyday I'd try. Try to feel a little okay with myself, just a little. I'd put on makeup, do my hair and get 5 sizes smaller in all my clothes to make myself appear that I wasn't overweight. I wouldn't always get along with my family or friends. I'd get bullied a lot. I'd run upstairs after school and just sob my eyes out for nearly an hour. My pillowcase would be stained with mascara, eyeliner, you name it. But the bad things started when I started to change. I was still overweight, putting on tons of makeup and being the annoying attention seeker I was, but in a way I changed. I started to try and fit in even more, and I sort of did. I became friends with the 'popular girl' and she and one of the popular guys who were on my bus were 'teaching me to be popular' and everything. I listened to every word they said, and tried to fit in. When I was kind of popular, not really popular but just a little bit I started to like this boy. I told the 'popular girl' and she told him, and started asking him questions about me while I was standing right there. She'd be like, ''do you like her?'' and he'd be like ''no way!'' and she was literally dangling him around at me. One time this really bad thing happened and I had to sit beside him in one class and that popular girl was in front of us, always turning around talking to him, and guess what she did? She told him EVERYTHING. She also got out the most embarrassing ugliest pictures of me she screenshotted on FaceTime and showed him and he was like ''Ew...'' and I just wanted to sink down there. I was still insecure and not getting along with anyone and that's when I decided to cut. I didn't find it sore at all. So I done it again and this girl found out. She badly wanted to tell someone but I made her swear that she wouldn't. I was so upset for so long. Until I started listening to this music (I'm not naming it sorry) and reading quotes by these people and I started to see the beauty of life. I haven't cut since because of it. The lyrics, the words, they made me feel like I wanted to walk on this earth. They made me feel happy inside. I no longer cared about being the perfect popular girl anymore. It made me motivated to get into shape is well, so I did. I tried out in sports and made loads of new friends. I'm not longer overweight now. I'm not really sure about my weight though, but I feel a bit more comfortable in my skin then I used to. I was suddenly carefree. I still wear a little makeup but I'm not as afraid for people to see me without it now. I now have so many amazing friends and that popular girl moved away to another school. The other boy that was teaching me to be cool, grew up since last year and we're really good friends now. The boy that I liked grew up too and we're now friends. I no longer like him and I like another boy, and someone said that he likes me back too, I'll be going to a new school and I'm going to miss my old friends so terribly but I know that I can always keep in touch, and I can't wait to make more friends. I feel so happy now, and the reason why I'm posting this is that no matter how awful, unwanted, fat, worthless, disgusting, horrible, depressed you feel. It is never too late to change, you can't be stuck like this forever. It gets better, it always does, life never puts you through something you can't handle.
    Now I am okay, more than okay. Fantastic.

  9. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2013 4:59pm UTC
    Apparently i'm a slave 4 u,
    is not an appropriate song to put on a powerpoint about the 13th amendment

  10. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2013 4:53pm UTC
    In primary/elementary school you'd pretend to sharpen your pencils,
    so you and your friend could have a chat at the bin

  11. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2013 4:47pm UTC
    Ice Age
    Ice Age: The Meltdown
    Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
    Ice Age: Continental Drift
    Ice Age: The Cavemen
    Ice Age: Roman Empire
    Ice Age: The Birth of Jesus
    Ice Age: The Dark Ages
    Ice Age: The Renaissance
    Ice Age: Discovery of America
    Ice Age: wwii
    Ice Age: 9/11

  12. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2013 4:40pm UTC
    Imagine walking into class someday and your Witty and/or Tumblr is up on the projecter
    Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a new fear

  13. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2013 4:36pm UTC
    Saying ''my friend'' is way easier than saying ''this person on Witty Profiles..''
    so you're all my friends whether you like it or not okay

  14. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2013 4:34pm UTC
    Me: *plays all your snapchats I screenshotted at your funeral*

  15. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2013 3:18pm UTC
    Chapter One
    It has been a stressful week, all we did was pack, pack for moving. I never wanted to move
    but I had no choice. We couldn't stay here in Newark, New Jersey. Dad has been offered his dream
    job and Mom has been offered another job too, with a higher pay. It was a Tuesday morning, the day that we
    were to leave. My baby pink painted room was so.. empty. The only thing that was left was the walk in wardrobe and
    my bed. I walked into the bathroom to fix my hair and makeup. I put a simple side fishtail braid in my dark brown
    hair, and put on a bit of mascara and eyeliner. ''Maria! Maria!'' I could hear my Dad shouting at me from downstairs.
    I ripped the bathroom door open, grabbing the hairbrush and my makeup bag and trudging down the stairs.
    ''Time to go'' he smiled at me, I could tell he was excited, he had lived in Newark all his life, and he gets to explore
    another city. Was it a city we were moving to? I had no idea. I jumped into the back of the car, my brother was
    listening to his iPod, typical. ''All set?'' my Mom asked. I nodded and my brother Will was too busy occupied on his iPod to
    hear. As we started driving I stuck in my earbuds. I flicked through my iPhone and picked one of my favourite songs,
    Roger Rabbit by Sleeping with Sirens filled my ears and I slowly drifted off into a deep sleep...
    * * *
    ''MARRRIIAAAA'' Will was shaking me violently and I snapped out of sleep ''What!?'' I said crossly, angry that
    he had woken me. ''We're here! in Towson!'' he smiled. Towson? Where the heck is that? I got out of the car
    to see one of the most beautiul houses ever. ''Woahh..'' I smiled at the thought of living here. ''You were
    asleep for long, so we got to bring our bags in'' Will exclaimed. Furniture was already here because Dad would
    take several days to move them here with the Movers. I walked into the kitchen to find my Mom ''Darling, go get ready
    we're going to our neighbours for dinner!'' I nodded. Mom was always a social woman, and loved making new friends
    so I honestly am not surprised we're going there for dinner. I went up to my bedroom, it was all fixed up, I smiled, wow Dad
    and Mom really done a good job. Will came into my room, ''What're you doing in here? I'm getting ready!'' I said, ''just thought
    you'd like to know that the family we're having dinner has twins your age'' he smirked. ''Are they identical?'' I asked. ''Nope! I'd
    say they're your taste too, I was chatting to them'' he winked. I rolled my eyes and pushed him out of my room and slammed
    the door. I quickly got ready into a casual outfit: a grey t-shirt and cardigan the same colour, some high waisted denim shorts,
    some bangles and rings and my black bag. I grabbed a coke too as I was so thirsty. I quicky ran down the stairs, ''Oh by the way Mom?''
    I asked my Mother who was just ready too, ''Yes honey?'' she replied as I sat down to put on my black converse. ''Where are we?
    As in, where is Towson?'' she laughed at my question, ''It's a suburb of Baltimore, we're in Maryland honey!'' my mouth formed an 'O'
    shape as Dad and Will came in. ''All set?'' Dad asked, ''let's go'' Will exclaimed winking at me.
    * * *
    Maria's outfit for the dinner: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcp49dmY5j1qejm4fo1_500.jpg
    Maria's bedroom: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcnl5huh4c1qjd76eo1_500.jpg
    The Kitchen: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mak2dmim1f1qe3zw0o1_500.jpg
    Maria (in this story she looks like Selena Gomez): http://weheartit.com/entry/64675082
    Will (in this story he looks like Cody Simpson): http://weheartit.com/entry/64423609
    A/N: Can I get feedback please? If I get some I'll post another Chapter! ~Caterina

  16. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2013 5:02pm UTC
    It amazes me that I can accurately type at top speed without,
    looking at the keyboard but still pour water down my shirt because I missed my mouth in general.

  17. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 6, 2013 4:52pm UTC
    Imagine Avril Lavigne as a mom..
    Daughter: BUT MOM!
    Daughter: MOM!

  18. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 3, 2013 3:56pm UTC
    sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST

  19. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 3, 2013 3:52pm UTC
    Some profanity I'd like to hear more often:
    -''For the sake of f/ck''
    -''For sh.tting out loud''
    -''For the f/ck of God''
    -''Don't go f/cking yourself in the foot''
    -''I hope I don't f/ck the toaster on this''

  20. captainsassy captainsassy
    posted a quote
    June 3, 2013 3:44pm UTC
    Friend: Grandmother I need to talk to you
    Grandma: [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
    Friend: No, no. Grandma I'm gay.
    Grandma: What?
    Friend: I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
    Grandma: [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime somebody needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend? When is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.


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