squidney47's Favorites

Lover17
posted a quote
September 16, 2012 8:14pm UTC

My friend changed after she became a vegetarian. It's like I've never seen herbivore.
....

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

Steve
posted a quote
January 15, 2004 12:30pm UTC

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket,
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2798 points

Lover17
posted a quote
August 16, 2012 12:37pm UTC

The best plot twist: Finding Nemo 2 is actually about Nemo undertaking a spiritual journey to find himself.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points

Lover17
posted a quote
August 15, 2012 10:34am UTC

If Beethoven heard Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber's music
he would be probably shocked,
not because the music is bad, but because Beethoven is deaf...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 301 points

squidney47
posted a quote
August 15, 2012 10:19am UTC

You call it Procrastination,
I call it....meh I'll tell you later.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 151 points

ErinIsTheName*
posted a quote
August 14, 2012 11:04am UTC

Every year 5 people are killed by shark attacks.
Vending machines kill 13.
Be affraid.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 589 points

pleasespeaktomyface
posted a quote
August 14, 2012 12:05pm UTC

Normal People: Walk around their house like normal people.
Me: Dances around my house like a ballerina.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 660 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
August 14, 2012 2:03pm UTC

I wonder if God gets excited
when he finally sees us with the
person He created us to be with.
Or i f He is watching and is l i ke --
" That was them! NO. NO. TURN AROUND! YOU MISSED THEM. THAT
WAS THEM."
"Ugh, why are all my otp's walking by each other without
noticing?""
We are in a giant reality TV show and God and the angels are the fandom.
nmf/
fformat from imthetypeofgirl

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1127 points

pleasespeaktomyface
posted a quote
June 6, 2012 3:38pm UTC

I went outside once.
The graphics aren't that good.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 623 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
August 11, 2012 12:31am UTC

*Flush in the daytime*
Toilet: woosh
*Flush at night when everyone's
asleep*
Toilet: NIAGARA FALLS BIITCHES

👍 this is good · read the comments · 799 points

ChasingDreams
posted a quote
August 11, 2012 6:14pm UTC

How to creep people out
1-have your children walk home from school
2-wait until they are walking past two elderly women
3-drive up in your car
4-swing open the passenger car
5-ask your own children "hey, kids, want some candy?"
6-watch the horrified looks on the women's faces as your kids clim in and you drive off

👍 this is good · read the comments · 644 points

katberndt1
posted a quote
August 11, 2012 1:44pm UTC

Me after running for thirty seconds: I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

👍 this is good · read the comments · 383 points

aquacrayonxo11
posted a quote
August 12, 2012 7:14pm UTC

Beauty Tip #1
Want whiter teeth?
Step 1: Brush your teeth with regular toothpaste
Step 2: Mash up 1 strawberry in a bowl
Step 3: Add 1 tablespoon og Baking soda in the mixture
Step 4: brush teeth with mixture w/ toothbrush
Step 5: Leave on teeth for 2 minutes
Step 6: Spit out all
Step 7: Brush teeth wirh regular toothpaste and enjoy your white teeth
It works, I tried it with my sister but warning! It taste bad DO NOT SWALLOW.
Series?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1392 points

emilygm*
posted a quote
August 12, 2012 2:26pm UTC

mq/
Gtg mom my phone is dying.
Of what?
Of cancer, mom. My phone is dying of cancer. -_-

👍 this is good · read the comments · 436 points

Witty_stories19
posted a quote
August 14, 2012 10:46am UTC

They say best friends are hard to find...
That's cause the best one's are already mine
0 7

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

lovelydarling
posted a quote
August 13, 2012 9:26pm UTC

Pick up lines for old people.
Old man: hey baby you better call life alert cause I've fallen for you and I can't get up
nmf/nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 484 points

gr82bfierce
posted a quote
August 13, 2012 9:14pm UTC

You are what you eat?
Well that's awkward...
Cause you're a dick.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 489 points

LoveStinks97
posted a quote
August 13, 2012 9:07pm UTC

Am i the only one that thinks
That im one of those friends that everyone pretends to like?
Just something that i wonder every day...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 727 points

AwesomeUsername
posted a quote
August 13, 2012 9:06pm UTC

My guy friend almost got into a fight at Wal-Mart 'cause this kid thought he was funny in front of his friends:
Kid: Nice V-neck. Looks like my sister's.
My friend: Oh, I'm sorry. Must've put on the wrong shirt after I f/cked her.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1730 points

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squidney47