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xxdream121
posted a quote
September 19, 2012 7:56pm UTC

Harry Potter: The boy who lived.
Katniss Everdeen: The girl on fire.
Me: The girl online

👍 this is good · read the comments · 461 points

KoalaGurl125
posted a quote
September 17, 2012 7:22pm UTC

Me: *On my period*
Friend: OMG you have to hear this joke!
Me: Dont talk to me.
Crush: Hey:)
Me: Don't talk to me.
Teacher: Please answer question 5
Me: 34. Now dont talk to me.
Mom: Want this chocolate i bought today?
Me: Dont talk to me.
Mom:
Me:
Dad:
Me:
Brother:
Me: Wait did you say chocolate

👍 this is good · read the comments · 457 points

littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
September 17, 2012 5:43pm UTC

Patrick: it's weird. my face is leaking.
Spongebob: your face isnt leaking.
you're just sweating from all the
excersize.
Patrick: exercise?!?
Patrick: EW. i did not sign up for this.
ladies and gentlemen, i am the female patrick star.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 453 points

Arilena :)*
posted a quote
September 16, 2012 11:11am UTC

me: I HAVE TO PEE
computer: no. stay.
me: ok
me: I HAVE TO GO TO BED
computer: no. stay.
me: ok
mom: ITS TIME FOR DINNER
computer: no. stay.
me: ok
me: OH MY GOD THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE
computer: no. stay
me: ok

👍 this is good · read the comments · 477 points

wittyquotesgurl
posted a quote
September 19, 2012 8:11pm UTC

Grandma: Are you hungry?
Me: No
Grandma: Too bad you're going to eat anyways

👍 this is good · read the comments · 542 points

yourcool
posted a quote
September 16, 2012 2:44pm UTC

I hate the part of the morning where
I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 553 points

Gleek1
posted a quote
September 15, 2012 6:00pm UTC

I hate it when im in the ocean,
and my brains just like,
"hey you know whats a good movie?"
JAWS.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 538 points

kenefucy4321
posted a quote
September 16, 2012 1:53pm UTC

And who else didn't know that Snow White is only
14?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 584 points

greysonchick
posted a quote
September 18, 2012 8:38pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 666 points

littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
September 15, 2012 8:16pm UTC

I'm not 'cute' awkward.
I'm 'what the heck is wrong with you' awkward

👍 this is good · read the comments · 573 points

Oreos
posted a quote
September 18, 2012 3:01pm UTC

How to survive a Horror Movie.
1.Never be the hero.
2.Never say 'I'll be right back'
3.Don't be curious or suspicious.
4.Always look back.
5.Don't fall over that imaginary branch.
6.Never go somewhere alone.
7.Get weapons.
8.Hide in the fridge.I'm pretty sure the killer won't want snacks.
9. Don't look through peep holes. You'll end up with one eye
10.Remember,only retards go upstairs when a killer's attacking.
11.Don't yell 'Hello' when you're alone.The killer is hardly going to reply with 'Sup Bro?Wanna
play some MW3?'
12.If it's not behind you,it's above you.Fact.
13.Don't be a smartass and try to anger the killer.You'll be the next target.
14.If it's dead,leave it alone.
15.Don't start making out with your new hot boyfriend/girlfriend/cat in the car.
16. Always listen to the old creepy guy who says there's danger ahead.
He's right.
17.It isn't your dog licking your hand. Your dog is dead.
18.If you think the monster is dead,IT'S NOT.
19.Don't go searching for something in the basement,even if the lights have gone out.
20.Make sure your gas tank is full.
21. Get a boyfriend. He'll die first which will give you more time to run.
22.You're an idiot if you think stabbing the killer is a good idea.
23.Learn to clib trees,sweetie.
24.Blood=Somebody has died/is dying.
25.Only stupid people use lamps as weapons.
26.If you get a phone call while babysitting that consists of 'Have you checked the kids?',you
just might want to make a run for it.Forget the kids,let's care about ourselves.
27.Nightmares are never just mightmares.
28.Moving to Elm Street is a bad idea,unless you want to stay up late every night. WOO RAVE!
29.Don't buy a cheap house in the middle of nowhere.
30.RUN B/ITCH RUN.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 723 points

annalove26
posted a quote
September 15, 2012 9:46pm UTC

What if,
Only the sticker is made in China.
Mind=blown.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 616 points

littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
September 19, 2012 7:18pm UTC

My first instinct when
i see an animal
is to say "hello"
My first instinct
when i see a person
is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away

👍 this is good · read the comments · 748 points

wishicouldfindyou
posted a quote
September 14, 2012 7:58pm UTC

Am I the only one or do other people
rip off a piece of their lip with their teeth and swallow it and then realize they just ate themself?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 598 points

littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
September 14, 2012 9:08pm UTC

IF YOU CATCH ME ON THE STREET
listening to my ipod, and i do a swift head turn, i'm probably in the middle of filming my imaginary music video.
please do not disturb.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 658 points

isitonlyme
posted a quote
September 14, 2012 4:13pm UTC

Mom: Hurry up..I have to be somewhere.
Me: Pulls all plugs out of electronic equipment to speed up shut down, sprints out of house half-dressed, and breaks speed limit running to the car
.....
Me: Hey Mom, I need to be on time for this thing, can we go, I have to be there in 15 minutes?
Mom: Cleans entire house, waters plants, redecorates rooms, applies for Israeli citizenship, runs for UK president, starts a gambling ring, purchases zimmer frame, crawls to car, forgets keys, crawls back inside house.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 678 points

foreverfascinatedxx
posted a quote
September 16, 2012 4:01pm UTC

Fave if,
You think you're fat,
ugly,
boring,
useless.
Fave if you think you,
Can't keep a secret,
Treat everyone you care about badly,
Like a guy who'll never like you back,
Feel ignored by your friends,
Always disappoint your parents,
Mess everything up,
Will never be good enough,
Fave if you think,
You're a bad friend,
You're a loser.
Fave if you've ever,
Been cheated on,
Thought about killing yourself,
Cut,
Burned,
Starved yourself,
Cried yourself to sleep,
Attempted suicide,
hated yourself.
Then look at the amount of favorites on this quote.
You're not alone.
Remember that.
There is always someone, somewhere that will understand what you're going through.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 917 points

royalclaymaker
posted a quote
September 15, 2012 9:07pm UTC

My sister wants to try
out for my schools
football team.
But she is scared that she might not be accepted. Andif she is let on the team, that she may be made fun of.
Favorite if you think she should try out.
I will show this to her.
I think she is great at playing football.
She tackles pretty hard....
Nows how to kick a ball... far.
And nows how to throw a ball in an exact spot.
PLEASE FAVORITE FOR HER!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 809 points

I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
September 16, 2012 7:33pm UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 833 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
September 17, 2012 3:16pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
Things I don't understand:
Why British people lose their accents when they sing.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1022 points

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