dreamercjs813's Favorites

mtndewhm*
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 10:53pm UTC

Some guy: You're weird.
Me: I'm aware
Guy: I like you.
Me: That's new.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 83 points

sarahmarlowXxx
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 4:31pm UTC

Uterus: That new underwear looks nice.
Uterus: It'd be a shame if something...
Uterus: ...happened to it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 385 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 19, 2013 12:39am UTC

I hate when i tell people about
my problems and they try to make it
into a frigging contest and
one up me like
congratulations you win at
being a jerk
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 299 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 10:33pm UTC

Dentist: *scrapes gums with sharp, metal instruments*
Dentist: You're bleeding because you don't floss

👍 this is good · read the comments · 598 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 6:29pm UTC

friend:
if you're procrastinating and
you know it clap your hands
me:
ill clap later
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 389 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 7:03pm UTC

i’m terrified of growing old
don’t ask me about my future
i will throw up on you
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 151 points

Eli123qwe
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 10:57pm UTC

Witty
www.wittyprofiles.com
Takes Away Your Social Life, Sleep, and Grades!
Join Now!
AdChoices►
.
.
.
Might wanna check that ad above again ;)
double quote format by Breeze

👍 this is good · read the comments · 881 points

Infinity on high*
posted a quote
January 7, 2013 10:26pm UTC

Rapunzel: So, I have made the decision to trust you.
Flynn Rider: A horrible decision really.
Flynn Rider. The closest character to a realistic male, Disney ever created.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 986 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 9, 2013 7:18pm UTC

friend:
you know when a celebrity
your parents like dies and
they get kind of quiet
and sad and are all like
“ohhh that person died?
back in the day he was
my favorite actor” or something?
that’s going to happen to
you someday. all of
your favorite actors are going to die.
other friend:
Well my heart says that's dumb
so we're not gonna do that
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 111 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 9, 2013 8:47pm UTC

sometimes i get so far
into my head that i
forget anything else
exists
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 192 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 13, 2013 6:46pm UTC

grandma:
so do you have a boyfriend yet?
me:
not in this economy
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 473 points

Common Teenager*
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 11:24pm UTC

Me: Refreshes Witty
Internet: Sorry, this server is down
Me: no
Me: refreshes
Me: refreshes
Me: refreshes
Me:
Me:
Me:
Witty: loads
Witty: *is completely different*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Obama:
A cookie:
the wind:
Spongebob:
A training bra:
A hollister model:
Me: I have no recollection of this place

👍 this is good · read the comments · 453 points

Jahyvie
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 11:00pm UTC

Books are proof that
humans are capable
of working magic.
-Carl Sagan
Credit: Jahyvie

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 98 points

HakunaaMatata
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 11:01pm UTC

"That's nice, honey."
Grandma's version of "cool story, bro."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 512 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 9:56pm UTC

STOP.
BREATHE.
CRY IF YOU MUST.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 186 points

Yourbeautiful*
posted a quote
December 25, 2012 1:08pm UTC

When God pushed you over the edge, trust him.
Either he will catch you or teach you how to fly.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 280 points

happiest*
posted a quote
December 22, 2012 10:09am UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 221 points

yourcool
posted a quote
December 21, 2012 6:41pm UTC

if kate middleton doesn't present her baby
to the world from her balcony the same way rafiki presented simba, they're doing it totally wrong.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 672 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
December 21, 2012 2:55pm UTC

is there anyone else who can't listen to certain songs without imagining themselves performing it in great detail?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 160 points

Skimrande
posted a quote
December 19, 2012 10:25pm UTC

We played the travel version of Apples to Apples in my precalculus class today.
Guy: *rolls a w*
Guy: Um. Um. Wumbo!
Teacher: What's wumbo?
Entire f/cking class in unison: I wumbo; you wumbo; he, she, we wumbo.
Guy: Wumbo, wumboing, wumbology, the study of wumbo!
Other guy: It's first grade, Miss Tague!
True story.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 55 points

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