___Cryptic___'s Favorites

Cammie
posted a quote
July 20, 2013 1:43am UTC

do you ever have such a good reply to a celebrities tweet
but get sad because they won't see it

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
July 19, 2013 5:18pm UTC

"Actually, it's *you're :)" said the teenage white girl. That's all she needed.
The argument was won and she was the victor. Her opponent on the other side of the argument fell onto their knees in defeat as they were banished to the shadow realm.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 128 points

Butterbear
posted a quote
July 20, 2013 1:37pm UTC

Me: *nervously orders my food*
Me: Man I hate public speaking

👍 this is good · read the comments · 243 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
July 20, 2013 2:47pm UTC

Jesus: Need an Ark?
Jesus: I Noah guy.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 48 points

gab*
posted a quote
July 15, 2013 5:23pm UTC

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
IF YOU LIVE OFF A MAN’S COMPLIMENTS,
YOU’LL DIE FROM HIS CRITICISM.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 55 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 19, 2013 2:48am UTC

someone online: *calls me cute*
me: *surprised
me: *wiggles awkwardly*
me: *pulls hoodie drawstrongs*
me: * scrunches into down comforter*
me: *blushes for ten minutes*
me: *peeks out*
me: no u

👍 this is good · read the comments · 139 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
July 19, 2013 3:45pm UTC

Steve: I will be on vacation for a couple of weeks starting July 18. I might be checking in now and then so be good to each other!
Me: Well you picked a fantastic time to go on vacation.
Me: Because Witty definitely isn't forming teams agaisnt each other.
Me: And we aren't causing any drama.
Me: And we aren't petitioning to get other members off Witty.
Me: And we don't need someone to set us straight.
Me: We're just one big happy family....

👍 this is good · read the comments · 314 points

goawayanthony*
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 8:17pm UTC

Why do we think Humpty Dumpty is a egg

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 13 points

_superwhitegirlproblems
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 8:46pm UTC

Super White Girl Problems #2410
Not wearing a cute
outfit because you don't
want to waste it.
tumblr

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 54 points

_superwhitegirlproblems
posted a quote
July 18, 2013 8:22pm UTC

Super White Girl Problems #2406
"Why can't we have
boys like that in our town?!"
tumblr

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 63 points

Serotonin
posted a quote
July 19, 2013 9:17am UTC

reality exists in the human mind
and nowhere else

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
July 19, 2013 1:52am UTC

I used to have bangs so much
that the thought
of showing my forehead
was foreign

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 19, 2013 2:24am UTC

- you have never seen your own face. only reflections and picuters.
- something is always touching you.
- you can always see your nose.
- your tongue never sits comfortably in your mouth.
- you will never feel something the exact same way someone else does.
- you can't imagine a new color.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 56 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 19, 2013 2:45am UTC

it takes me 10 seconds to write my text
and 4 minutes to decide which emoji that I think best goes with it

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 156 points