Shlaw's Favorites

ForeverHidingBehindASmile
posted a quote
August 24, 2012 4:03pm UTC

"Ha! You flinched!"
"No sh*t, you almost hit me in the f*cking face!"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 826 points

I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
August 23, 2012 11:15pm UTC

What doesn't kill you f/cks you up mentally.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 483 points

Regret
posted a quote
September 2, 2011 12:18pm UTC

Doctor Who Quotes #6
Professor: A hermit… with uh, friends?
Doctor: Hermits united. We meet up every ten years and swap stories about caves. It’s good fun. For a hermit.

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hermione23katniss
posted a quote
July 25, 2012 3:06pm UTC

I feel so bad for women competing
in the olympics while on their period.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1889 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 16, 2012 10:31pm UTC

whenever I turn my pillow over,
I feel like I am recharging the cold side.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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meg_xoxo
posted a quote
July 8, 2012 10:12am UTC

*When I don't have my contacts in or my glasses on*
My friends: How many fingers am I holding up?!
*holds up 4*
What I actually see: 4
What they somehow think I see: 9
mq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 434 points

xstaybeautiful
posted a quote
July 7, 2012 9:27pm UTC

credittoforgeter
Imagine your teacher as
I wonder how people would react if I
walked into Sea World with a fishing pole.

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foreverisalie
posted a quote
June 23, 2012 4:17pm UTC

when you were a kid
and thinking the moon followed you while you were in the car.

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
June 20, 2012 2:51pm UTC

I really can't picture
anyone having a crush on me.
I can't picture someone thinking about me before they fall asleep,
or telling their friends about me.
I can't picture anyone getting butterflies because I said Hi to them,
or even just smiled at them.
I can't picture someone smiling at the computer screen
or their cell phones when we're talking..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3197 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
June 19, 2012 11:34pm UTC

When I grow up, I promise to be thankful for:
1) The taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed.
2) The clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to
eat.
3) A lawn that has to be mowed, windows that have to be washed, and
gutters that have to be fixed because that means I have a home.
4) The spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am
capable of walking.
5) All of the complaining I hear about our government because it means
we have freedom of speech.
6) The people who talk on cellphones in restaraunts because it means
I can hear.
7) The huge piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones
are nearby.
8) The alarm that goes of early in the morning because it means I'm alive.
Comment ones you think of!!
format by jimmy365

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1067 points

Steve
posted a quote
June 19, 2012 9:36am UTC

You die twice.
Once when your physical body dies and once more when your name is spoken for the last time.

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Bananaaah
posted a quote
June 16, 2012 5:05pm UTC

& w h o e l s e
hates it when
guys get haircuts?
nmf
nmq

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 173 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 9, 2012 8:16pm UTC

I don’t care if you think you have "swag".
Pull up your pants and walk faster.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 924 points

tarahtnt
posted a quote
June 8, 2012 6:46pm UTC

Be the kind of girl you would want your daughter to be.

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xMrsStypayhorliksonx
posted a quote
June 9, 2012 4:44pm UTC

Me: *closes wrong tab*
Me: *pterodactyl noise*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points

MorganElizaBeth
posted a quote
June 9, 2012 4:52pm UTC

ANNOYING&CREEPY THINGS TO
DO ON AN ELEVATOR :
1) Stand SILENT & MOTIONLESS in the corner facing
the wall without getting off.
2) Greet EVERYONE with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you admiral.
3)MEOW occasionally
4) STARE at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of them." -And back away slowly.
5) Say 'DING' at each floor.
7) Make EXPLOSION noises when someone presses a button.
8) DRAW a little SQUARE on the floor with chalk and then announce to the person "THIS IS MY PERSONAL SPACE."
9) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "THAT'S MINE!"
10) Call out a 'GROUP HUG' then enforce it.
iDO NOT ERASE THE FORMAT CREDIT OR MAKE IT INVISIBLE© quote by: MORGANELIZABETH (don't steal)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 90 points

faith_is_passionate_intuition
posted a quote
June 8, 2012 8:13pm UTC

Whose cruel idea was it for "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
\

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
June 8, 2012 4:52am UTC

"What's your sexual orientation?"
"Oh, I'm a sexual atheist."
"....huh?"
"I don't believe I'll ever get laid."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 423 points

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