Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

RH_comets_19

  1. spence* spence*
    posted a quote
    August 6, 2013 6:28pm UTC
    one time in math class
    my teacher was really p//ssed at us
    and he was yelling "DO YOU EVEN KNOW
    BASIC MATH? WHAT'S TWO PLUS TWO?
    COREY, WHAT'S TWO PLUS TWO?" and poor corey
    wasn't paying attention so I leaned over to him
    and whispered "seven" and he blurted out "SEVEN" and
    I have never laughed harder and I doubt I will ever will.

  2. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    August 4, 2013 5:43pm UTC
    The scariest thing about dating someone is that you will either break up with or end up marrying that person.

  3. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    August 6, 2013 2:14pm UTC
    me with guys i know: omg he's off-limits he's a whole 3 years older than me
    me with celebrities: come on, he's only 20 years older than me

  4. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    August 5, 2013 5:45pm UTC
    My friend and her bf just broke up and she called me crying and I was all like “You’re going to fall in love so many times before you find the one you’ll be with forever. So think of it this way; you’re one heartbreak closer to happily ever after." and I think she thought I was being deep and insightful, but really I was quoting wizards of waverly place

  5. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    August 2, 2013 10:30am UTC
    The fear of tampons that exists in teenage boys is literally one of the
    funniest things I've ever seen. They act like it's a nuclear missle. Like, calm down, bro. It's just a compressd cotton ball. I swear to God, if you ever want a teenage boy to leave you alone just pull out a tampon and throw it in his direction and he will run as far away as possible. It's hilarious.

  6. spence* spence*
    posted a quote
    July 20, 2013 4:49pm UTC
    I think I missed that part
    in my childhood where I was supposed to
    have a cute boy as my best friend growing
    up and then we would end up falling in love, I want a do over.

  7. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    July 15, 2013 3:08am UTC
    mike wazowski opens up a tattoo shop
    called "Monsters Ink."

  8. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    July 29, 2013 11:48pm UTC
    Reasons I don't like Justin Bieber
    1) He said that r.ape happens for a reason
    2) At Anne Frank's house, he wrote in the guestbook that he hoped "she would have been a Belieber"
    3) When asked to try being vegan, he spit out the vegan steak that was specially ordered for him
    4) He makes his fans pay tons of money to see him live, even though he could afford having the tickets be $50 instead of $100 dollars for mezzanine seats
    5) Once, he went to a childrens hospital in England and made them clear the area so he wouldn't have to wait near the sick children. He spent about 5 minutes with the children while the cameras were around and then left as soon as they wre gone.
    6) He peed in a restaurant kitchen
    7) Once, he faked a really bad asthma attack and the paramedics were called. He then proceeded to laugh is a.ss off when they came through the door. His people talked the paramedics into not saying anything because, apparently, you can go to jail for that.
    8) He wanted to go to a mall, once, and when the car came he sent it back because he didn't like the color. He then spent only 5 minutes at the mall before leaving and saying it was the sh ittiest mall he'd ever been to.
    9) He didn't show up to one of his concerts until half way through the scheduled time
    10) He's quoted to having screamed, "F.uck Bill Clinton" to cameras
    11) He attacked a paparazzi, who is suing.
    12) When he went to Vermont, he was kicked out of every business he went to (IHOP, Hannaford, Walmart, etc.)
    13) At a movie theater, he threw a huge temper tantrum when he was told that he couldn't bring his Subway sandwich into the movie, since it was against the rules. He made a mess in the theater and was carried out by one of his bodyguard, kicking and screaming.
    14) Once, he randomly showed up to Disney unannounced and demanded that the entire Yachtsman Steakhouse be cleared- reservations cancelled and all- so that he could eat there. The staff had to call every single one of the guests to tell them that their reservations they had been planning for months were cancelled and wasn’t allowed to give them an explanation. Disney also decided that it wasn’t fair to their guests and gave them free dinner at another restaurant, which obviously lost them a lot of money and business for that night.
    15) He spit on his fans
    I don't dislike him because of his voice or his music. I dislike him because he is a terrible human being.

  9. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    July 13, 2013 2:47pm UTC
    If she doesn't have one of your hoodies,
    you're doing it wrong.

  10. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    July 14, 2013 1:02pm UTC
    Teenagers fixing any electronics:
    "I don't know, turn it off and turn it back on again."

  11. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2013 11:31am UTC
    rabbits jump and they live for 8 years.
    dogs run and they live for 15 years.
    turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years.
    lesson learned.

  12. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    July 23, 2013 9:46am UTC
    I know I don't have an invisibility cloak,
    but can I still enter your restricted section?

  13. lovecrazy lovecrazy
    posted a quote
    July 6, 2013 1:10pm UTC
    I will only say this once. I should not have to, and will not repeat myself.
    If you ever in anyway whatsoever disrespect someone in the military, or their family, I will personally escort you and sign you up for the military. Those men and women have more guts and courage than you probably ever will, and they deserve all of your respect. I can't count on one hand how many family members I have out their risking their lives for us, and if you have the nerve to say something bad about them, we're going to have a major problem. I do not care if you are against war, you respect people that are out there fighting for your freedom.

  14. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2013 5:49pm UTC
    She doesn't say "I love you" like a normal
    person. Instead, she'll
    laugh, shake her head,
    give you a little smile, and say...
    you're an idiot."
    if she tells you you're an idiot, you're a
    lucky man.

  15. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2013 5:20pm UTC
    after 17 season's of Pretty Little Liars,
    "A" is revealed and captured. the girls hug each other in a safe embrace, but are interrupted by the faint noise of a text. they read it aloud and stare into the distance, "it's my turn, b.tches. -B"

  16. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    June 19, 2013 4:25pm UTC
    my parents named their kid after me

  17. ErinIsTheName* ErinIsTheName*
    posted a quote
    June 19, 2013 9:45am UTC
    I say "OUCH!" even before
    I'm sure it hurt... Just to make sure.

  18. bye* bye*
    posted a quote
    June 10, 2013 7:40pm UTC
    someone explain to me how parents can scream at you until you’re crying and then act like nothing happened 20 minutes later

  19. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    June 4, 2013 4:33am UTC
    boys walk around shirtless: oh that's fine, it was a hot day and they didn't want to overheat!
    girls wear clothes that acknowledge the fact that we are human beings who have shoulders: nO, ///STOP//// the boys will be dISTRACTED FROM LEARNING, keep your sinful shoulders under cover good lord.

  20. carson5482 carson5482
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2013 2:22pm UTC
    Do noodles end their prayers with
    "ramen"?

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles