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MyNameIsNick

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 10:13am UTC

America:
Making my way downtown
America: Walking fast
China: Hey America you owe me money--
America: Walking faster

👍 this is good · read the comments · 250 points

kristabff
posted a quote
October 5, 2013 2:00pm UTC

I HAVE 666 FOLLOWERS
GUYS THIS IS SO COINCIDENTAL BECAUSE I MADE A QUOTE ABOUT ME BEING SATAN YESTERDAY AND NOW I HAVE 666 FOLLOWERS IM FREAKING OUT
THIS IS RAD AS HECKKKK
or shall i say, rad as hell

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 6, 2013 2:31pm UTC

Once in high school my friend kicked her leg up and her shoe flew off and smashed into the ceiling with this huge BANG and the teacher whirled around and yelled “WHO DID THAT?” and my friend just stared at her as the ceiling tile fell and shattered on the floor between them and the shoe thumped down on top of it and my friend just went “that’s not my shoe” while standing there with one shoe on

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Lifehappens
posted a quote
September 5, 2013 4:13pm UTC

How to get a top quote on Witty Profiles:
1.Copy and paste something from Facebook/Twitter.
2.Steal someone else's format that has been used 3,042 times.
3.Say it was quoted from Wiz Khalifa, Eminem, or Mac Miller.
4.Just put, "Favorite if youve ever breathed." That'll get em.
5.Be completely and utterly unoriginal.
- E m i n e m

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
September 20, 2013 5:01pm UTC

Me: *goes through a year of school*
Me: Wow that was so fast!
Me: *watches a 30 second youtube ad*
Me: THIS IS NEVERENDING

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bye*
posted a quote
August 30, 2013 8:11pm UTC

my mom heard the beginning of same love by macklemore and she looked at me and said “when you were 4 you sat in your room and cried for hours and when i asked you what was wrong you said “mom i think i’m black”

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
August 28, 2013 10:28pm UTC

Geometry, the process:
Geometry
Geomecry
Geomewhy
Geomebye

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
August 31, 2013 4:45pm UTC

Boy and girl: *playing 21 questions*
Girl: What's your favorite color?
Boy: Triangle. So, you a virgin?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 248 points

CookieMonster09*
posted a quote
August 27, 2013 4:25pm UTC

fun prank: buy a real handgun and paint the nozzle tip bright orange so it looks like a plastic toy gun. Pick a fight with a thug, pull out the gun. He will obviously laugh. Shoot him, he will die.
(side note: this prank could lead to getting arrested but lets just focus on the good things)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 235 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
September 1, 2013 4:18pm UTC

You hear a noise.
It's a soft clink followed by footsteps in your yard. You spring to your feet, and race to the door. Flinging it open wide, you race to your backyard. There, you see one thing, and one thing only: a spilled milkshake. Happy tears fill your eyes as you gingerly pick up the milkshake. The wind blows your hair back as you stare off into the sunset and whisper softly to yourself: The boys were here.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 427 points

mtndewhm*
posted a quote
August 22, 2013 7:48pm UTC

The shoulder:
An extremely sexual organ that can't be shown in school becuase the boys might get distracted.

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yourcool
posted a quote
May 18, 2013 9:03pm UTC

has anyone found out the purpose
of the male nipple yet?

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HakunaaMatata
posted a quote
May 19, 2013 2:14pm UTC

I am not in a competition with anyone else. I run my own race. I have no desire to play the game of being better than everyone else around me in any way, shape or form. I won't go and replace you just to "distract myself" because that would only hurt someone else. I'm not even gonna let other guys who have liked for over a year touch me because i'm not as trashy of a person as you are to just bounce from relationship to relationship. I'm just gonna look up to the sky and worry about me. After all, this is my life, my decisions, my health, my relationship, my struggles & above all, my happiness. I'm at the point where playing games is no longer on my list of things to do. All i know is i gave you my all & you were too blind to notice. But, he.ll, i haven't shed a single tear over you & im not gonna beg for you to come back; i'm gonna go out, meet new people, & do me. You do you.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 21 points

kaaylaa
posted a quote
May 5, 2013 12:52pm UTC

Her heart stopped that Wednesday morning.
And that was the only time
people ever told her
they loved her,
and missed her,
and needed her.
And maybe if they
would have told her that
when she was alive and needed it,
then she would still be here.
(k.b.g)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 2:46pm UTC

i just want to go to
a coffee shop
on a rainy day and order something nice and warm
and have an attractive stranger around my age say
“I’ll have one of those too, please”
and for them to smile at me and introduce themselves
and for us to slowly fall in love in a coffee shop
but instead whenever I go to a coffee shop ,
I find teenagers taking pictures
of their orders with their iPhones
and middle aged women wearing
yoga pants..

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bye*
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 5:08pm UTC

Basically,
i wish that you loved me
the nicest thing- kate nash

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

glitter162*
posted a quote
May 3, 2013 4:43pm UTC

What if one day Google was
deleted and we couldn't Google what happened to Google?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 140 points