CountOnMex3's Favorites

CountOnMex3

oursong
posted a quote
August 9, 2012 5:36pm UTC

"Oh, c'mon, how much do you weigh? 110? 105?"
which one of my buttcheeks are you talking to?
nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 645 points

TheQueensGuarddog
posted a quote
August 9, 2012 1:04pm UTC

If my Internet friends are pedophiles, they're freaking amazing actors.

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Karliann
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 10:37pm UTC

I've been personally victimised by Regina George.

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D0ri20
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 8:16pm UTC

Type the lyrics in on google
& hope for the best

👍 this is good · read the comments · 341 points

ChaseYourDreams27
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 11:05pm UTC

Hey, whats up?
Oh nothing really just converting oxygen into carbon dioxide...the usual.
mq/
wtf dude, its summer! Why are you doing science?
Breathing Ally, im breathing -_-
mq1/funnyjunk

👍 this is good · read the comments · 823 points

_to_the_kids_who
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 9:20pm UTC

Here's to the kids who
remember, "Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind."
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 660 points

_to_the_kids_who
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 9:16pm UTC

I met a little boy named Damien at Walmart. He's 2 and he had a handful of clover flowers in his hand for his mom.
Me: *walks by*
Him: What's your name?
Me: Sabrina.
Him: It's nice to meet you Brina
Me: It's nice to meet you too!
*later*
Him: You're very pretty, Brina.
Me: Aw, thank you! You're so sweet!
My mom: *stands next to me*
Him: What's your name?
Mom: Jutta (pronounced like Utah, but it's German soooo)
Him: You're very pretty too, Utah.
Him: Brina, you can follow us home and I can pick you some flowers. These are for my mom.
Me: Okay! Sounds like fun!
Him: I have to go now, Brina. It was nice to meet you!
As his mom pushed him in the cart out of the isle, he said to her, "Brina's my girlfriend," and he smiled at me as his mom said, "I'm sure she is, honey."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 753 points

youonlyliveonce17
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 9:06pm UTC

There is this kid at my school name Luigi.
I jokingly asked him one day if his brothers name is Mario.
His response
"Yes and my dogs name is Yoshi."
Best. Parents. Ever.
nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1572 points

xlivelaughlove524x
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 8:26pm UTC

Girl: May I please use the restroom?
Teacher: Can you wait? This period is almost over.
Girl: Not for me it isn't.
^I saw this in a movie today, and I laughed so hard I cried.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2336 points

dukey95
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 11:06pm UTC

Commercial: *Fit girls running everywhere*
Me: Yeah, right..that's exactly what I want to do when I have cramps.
Commercial: My period and I are best friends.
Me: Bull crap..being friends with my period is like being friends with the Grim Reaper.
Commercial: I just want to hold really soft things.
Me: Pfftt...No I want to curl up in a ball or eat all Chocolate in sight.
Commercial: It makes me feel really pure.
Me: It makes me feel like a B/tch.
Commercial: I like to move in slow motion.
Me: I like to yell really loud at everyone around me.
Commercial: I do all of this in white.
Me: I wear baggy clothes and mainly black.
Commercial: And on the third day I want to dance.
Me: On the third day Im bloated and just want to stay out of the public eye.
Commercial: *Shows blue liquid on pad*
Me: What the heck is wrong with me? Is that what's supposed to happen? Mom something's wrong with me!
Commercial:
Me:
Commercial:
Me: What a joke.. Must be some Super Human thing..
Ridiculous Tampon Ads...
I have this arguement with myself everytime I watch these commercials.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 299 points

youonlyliveonce17
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 11:26pm UTC

Today i decided the prank call Dominos Pizza
Me:Is this the Krusty Krab?
Cashier: No this is Patrick!
My Life= made<3
nmq freakquotes.com

👍 this is good · read the comments · 408 points

CornStar
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 10:31pm UTC

Did you hear about the Italian cheif that died?
He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Here today, gone tomato..
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it.
You never sausage a tragic thing.
tumblr

👍 this is good · read the comments · 594 points

akp1015
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 7:27pm UTC

*when it's raining*
Some people: ugh I hate it when it rains
Some other people: yay! I love the rain!
Me: YOU JUST KNOCKED OUT MY INTERNET CONNECTION B*TCH

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 262 points

littleleftofthemiddle
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 9:48pm UTC

"Why are you not in a relationship?"
excellent question! there are many reasons!
1. Men are scared by my dashing good looks
2. i'm as strange as strange gets
3. i find myself repeatedly in the friend zone
4. i spend my life on the internet
5. they see me rollin' , they hatin'
6. i spend my time with my nose in a bookand thus did not learn how to talk to real people
7. im waiting for one direction
8. i have high expections of men for such an ugly girl
9. i rarely change out of my pajamas.
10. i am socially unable to talk to boys.
11. i found out i was a wizard when i was 11
12. my interests include food and sleep.
13. i hate people
14. i dont know.
:) half mine.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 479 points

Emberlullaby
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 7:07pm UTC

I'll stop loving you when an Apple fruit
Grows on a mango tree
on the 30th day of February.♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 533 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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I_Dont_Know
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 8:44pm UTC

I just saw this status on Facebook:
Lms if you're thankful for your mom.. Repost or she passes at 11 tonight!
And I thought to my self:
Passes what? The Biscuits?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 646 points

oursong
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 7:38pm UTC

Me: Hello, 911? It's an emergency. There must be at least a thousand bodies out here.
Officer: Where are you?!
Me: THE GRAVEYARD.
Officer: ...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 809 points

xashleyx01
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 8:17pm UTC

~• ~•
~• ~• ~•
~• ~•
First known picture of Michael Phelps.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1172 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 4:07pm UTC

Our society
has made us feel insecure and scared to be ourselves...

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CountOnMex3