Dear Dana,
Today has not been an easy day. Things from the past have just been coming back to haunt me. I don't like talking about it, but I'm going to tell you the story of this year, the worst year of my life. It all started when I became friends with my bestfriend. Her old friends we're not pleased that she had made a friend other than them. However I did try to make ammence with them because I just didn't want any drama. That didn't go so well with them though because then they just had more reason to make fun of me for making a foul out of myself. But the laughing and jokes about me slowly did turn into hatred. Eventually they were judging my every move and commenting on everything I did and talking about me constantly. Finally they messaged me, instead of behind my back and for some reason they had this twisted thought that I "stole" theyre friend! So I blocked them, but soon enough they got they're friends to message me, so as my blocked list got longer the people that hated me increased and increased. Finally I stopped caring about what they thought of me. But then came another problem. 'He' came along, the guy that I talk about in like every letter. He liked me, and he was just so cute and sweet and irresistable, & he just swooped into my life at the right time and saved me. I was finally happy but then his ex found out. She was also my ex bestfriend. And she was VERY angry and kind of obsessed. She kept texting me about it calling me all sorts of names I had been called a billion times before. Eventually I proved that I did nothing wrong by liking her ex boyfriend because me and her were'nt friends anymore. We hadn't talked in a year.. we were irrelavent in eachothers lives, and she broke up with him so if she didn't want him to be with anyone other than her.. she shouldn't of dumped him! And she had another boyfriend already! After I proved her wrong, I thought the whole thing was done. But when I got to school the next day everyone thought I was dating 'him.' I wasn't yet though, I had just started liking him. But as the days progressed, the intensity of the rumors did too, eventually it got to that I was sleeping with him. I asure you, I was not! And everytime I would ask someone where they heard that from.. they all anwsered with the same name.. his ex. All my 'friends' turned on me, even some I had been friends with since grade one. Other than my bestfriend. But I don't even blame them because everyone hated me so much that anyone who was with me got hated on too. It probably doesn't sound that bad, but it affected me so much. Everyone was calling me names and hating me.. I still don't know what I did! Things were all over the internet too, it got to the point where people I didn't even know existed we're judging me and talking about me non stop. Everyone had this big obsession with me, everyone judged everything I did, weither it was liking a boy or failing a test, or making a friend.. they acted like even me breathing was evil. It made me feel like I was just some big mistake and by living I was doing something wrong, I even got quite a few messages either full of hate or boys asking for things because of who they thought I was. None of them knew me but they all chose to judge and hate a person they don't know. Now i've transfered schools though, I thought it might just all go away and for most of the summer it did.. but it's always going to be in the back of my mind.. all the people that hate me.. and the hate I have towards her.. the one that started it all will always burn inside me. I'm hoping for a new and fresh start, but this whole year has made me so insecure that I'm just scared. I hope your doing okay though, I don't see how anyone could hate you, so I'm sure your doing better than me. This whole thing probably sounds so stupid and it probably doesn't seem like a big deal but I just can't shake this feeling that there must be something wrong with me if all these people hate me. Reruns people, even my mom saying there's something wrong with me keep playing in my head. I know what's right isn't always popular but sometimes it feels that way. At least you'll never give up on me though <3
- xoxo your sister
Fill_that_empty_gap