Dear Dana,
I'm just sitting here listening to music, I can't sleep. I
don't know why but lately all that's on my mind is our
father and the past, the very scary past. Nobody understands, they
think just because it's over now that i'm fine. But what he
did to me for twelve years of my life still affects me in ways that
you can't even imagine. It's always on my mind everyday,
affecting my choices and dreams. when it's not on my
mind.. I lose controle of who I am. Because weither I like it or
not it's a part of me. The past is a part of us, the past is
what makes us who we are. It will never leave our minds completly.
It will still affect every decision we make for the rest of our
lives. & If you completly block it out... you won't be you
anymore. That's what I'm having issues with.. having a
balance of how much my past impacts me. Because sometimes I forget
about it for a while, and then I just feel upset for no reason and
act stupid because if I have no past I would have learned nothing.
& when I remeber it, it haunts me everyday and controles my
life.
I just want it to help me with the lessons i've learned, and
how it's made me stronger but not controle me.
Move on but not forget.
- xoxo your sister
Dear Dana, I'm just sitting here listening to music, I can't
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Aug 17, 2013 10:55pm
