Dear Dana,
Today I'm seeing 'him' again and i'm kind of
nervous. I've spent the last hour doing makeup and my hair and
cleaning the house. I just try so much harder to impress him. I
don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Because
it does mean I care more about what he thinks, but it also means
that i'm not being as much myself around him. I'm beggining
to think that what me and 'him' had wasn't as real as I
thought it was. Around my boyfriend right now though I can honestly
say I am completly myself, which I think is a good thing. However
that fear of everyboy being just like our father is haunting me
again. It stopped for a while but it's coming back now.
Everytime a guy even tells me what to do, I think he's
controling and convince myself that he could be just like our dad
someday... so I back away. But with 'him' I don't have
that fear at all. Even in my dreams, when I'm kidnapped by our
father and chained down it's always 'him' that comes to
save me, not my boyfriend. I guess I'm just pretty much
confused about everything. But hopefully i'll find my way. I
hope your finding your way though <3
- xoxo your sister
Dear Dana, Today I'm seeing 'him' again and i'm
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Aug 16, 2013 11:29am
