Best Xd Quotes Today

Vinita*
posted a quote
November 26, 2013 4:03pm UTC

Sometimes,
I wish that I was a boy
Then I wouldnt have to make contact
With the cold toilet seat cover

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 49 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
March 14, 2014 5:13pm UTC

*Lady Gaga song comes on*
*Whole class turns to look at me automatically
and watches me sexually lip sync
the lyrics to the song*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 45 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
September 19, 2013 11:15pm UTC

I don't simply run the mile, I am a unicorn, therefore I must 'prance' the mile.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 50 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 8:40pm UTC

Bunnies are incapable of farting so when they eat cauliflower their insides explode and they die.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 53 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
January 10, 2014 11:19pm UTC

Women are
more influenced by how a man smells rather than how he looks

👍 this is good · read the comments · 42 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
September 9, 2013 10:37pm UTC

I'm actually kind of scared not to log on to Witty for a week because of all the notifications I won't recieve

👍 this is good · read the comments · 47 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
January 14, 2014 7:23pm UTC

Crush:Oh, you thought I liked you.
Crush:That's cute.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 45 points

goawayanthony*
posted a quote
July 23, 2013 3:30pm UTC

Popular person:
*looks at me*
Me: *cries*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 47 points

DeathOfASon
posted a quote
August 7, 2013 11:29am UTC

people who would rather
be too hot than too cold are the weirdest fullcking things

👍 this is good · read the comments · 45 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
March 14, 2014 5:08pm UTC

Oh, so you're going to Disney land?
Quick, pack me in your suitcase.
NOW.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 44 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
February 3, 2014 9:40pm UTC

I put pencils in my hair whenever I don't want to hold them or put them down and then I forget that I put them there so sometimes I walk around with six pencils sticking out of my ponytail and be all like,
"OH MY GOSH I CAN'T FIND A PENCIL!!"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 44 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
May 2, 2014 9:13pm UTC

Well the fact of the matter is that most kids in Jr. High go through relationships faster than I eat Twinkies

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 43 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
December 19, 2013 10:19am UTC

News: *talking about Romney*Little sister: What's Romney?Dad: Its a disease

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 43 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
January 13, 2014 12:19am UTC

I WILL GO FULL UP
UNICORN ON YOU
DON'T PROVOKE ME

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 40 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
January 30, 2014 10:19pm UTC

Hey can you move out of my wa-
or elbow me in the face.
You know,
whatever's cool bro.
Its not like I needed my nose for anything

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 41 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
November 30, 2013 3:44pm UTC

Just F*ck off
and go eat a taco

👍 this is good · read the comments · 44 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
December 27, 2013 9:42pm UTC

Whenever I'm sad
food is always there for me.
Whenever I'm happy,
food is there for me.
Now if I had good judgecment I'd say
forget men,
I'm moving to Vegas and marrying a pineapple

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 38 points

emilygm*
posted a quote
July 1, 2013 10:42am UTC

I have 1% battery left and I just wanted to tell you guys that I

👍 this is good · read the comments · 38 points

BlackRoses *
posted a quote
September 1, 2013 6:43pm UTC

If you could read my mind you would have a psychological trauma

👍 this is good · read the comments · 46 points

Vinita*
posted a quote
December 3, 2013 10:19pm UTC

Friend: My mom is a baker so I smell like cupcakes
Me: My dad is a d*uche bag so I smell like blood

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 38 points

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Best Xd Quotes Today