Scissors Quotes

josie*
posted a quote
December 20, 2013 3:38pm UTC

If i cut you off,
chances are
you handed me
the scissors.

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Mandypandy
posted a quote
December 2, 2013 7:31pm UTC

One day, scissors will be for paper again.
One day, razors will be for shaving again.
One day, cutting will be for art and crafts again.
One day, sadness will be temporary again.
One day, life will be fun again.
One day... We will recover.

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BeautifulPeopleAndAliens
posted a quote
October 26, 2013 12:06pm UTC

Husband and wife are like a pair of scissors. Often moving in different directions, yet punishing those who ever come between them.

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maddie_r_xx
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 10:41pm UTC

I run with scissors..
i know what you're thinking..
im sooo bad

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Halo Angel1*
posted a quote
October 16, 2013 3:02pm UTC

I never run with scissors. Those last two words were unnecessary.

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EatSleepBreathBigBangTheory
posted a quote
September 1, 2013 2:00pm UTC

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors

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Jesse_James
posted a quote
August 7, 2013 10:39pm UTC

Boy: So, I hear you like bad boys?
Girl: Uhm yeah?
Boy: Well, I don't want to impress you or anything but I ran with scissors today
Girl: My sister is in the hospital because someone stabbed her while running with scissors.
Boy: That was your sister?!
Girl: ...
nmf/nmq

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DeathOfASon
posted a quote
July 13, 2013 4:01pm UTC

throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up
throwing handles at people who need to get a grip
throwing refrigerators at people who need to chill
throwing scissors at people who need to "cut it out"
throwing straws at people who need to suck it up
throwing bridges at people who need to get over it
throwing knives at people who need to be stabbed...

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katherinexP
posted a quote
June 24, 2013 10:53pm UTC

That annoying moment when a package says "easy open"
but you need scissors, a knife, gun, and light sabor to open it.

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dontsellyourselfshort
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 10:47am UTC

I understand that scissors can beat paper. And I get how rock can beat scissors. But there's no way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around rock leaving it immobie? Why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors. Why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why. Because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play rock paper scissors. I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in their face with my already clenched fist and say oh sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

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shorisunbird092
posted a quote
April 19, 2013 6:54am UTC

Girl who sits next to me in choir: Hey, can I see your sheet of music for a minute?
Me: *shows her the sheet*
Girl: Ok, thanks!
(we both stare at it while her hands have a mini-seizure)
Girl: *flips the bird at my paper*
Me:
Girl:
Me:
Girl:
Me: HAHAHAHA? *laughs confusedly*
Girl: GAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Me: HAHAHAHA-
Me: o_O ....WAIT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING
Girl: OOPS I was trying to make scissors
Me: WHAT WHY WHAT WHAT WHAT HOW COULD YOU? *blubbers*
Gir: *blubbers about scissors*
Choir teacher: Ladies, please quiet down. I know that today is friday and that it's always very exciting but- *glances at us* -we need to get back to doing music.

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purplezebras02
posted a quote
April 1, 2013 8:37pm UTC

SCISSORS.
W h y d i d t h e y a d d a ' C ' ?

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purplezebras02
posted a quote
April 1, 2013 8:34pm UTC

I NEVER RUN WITH SCISSORS
Those last two words were unnecessary

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
February 6, 2013 7:07pm UTC

I never run with scissors.
Those last two words were unnecessary.

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