Best Imdying Quotes This Year

LettingSecretsGo
posted a quote
August 21, 2013 6:09pm UTC

When I found out my toaster wasn't water proof,
I was shocked.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 151 points

LettingSecretsGo
posted a quote
August 21, 2013 6:05pm UTC

Where does the poor meatball live?
In the spaghetto.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 120 points

Infinity on high*
posted a quote
June 8, 2013 10:35pm UTC

mum: you need to learn to eat the foods I cook.
me: OH MY GOD. THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH SOCIETY.
me: YOU NEED TO LEARN TO ACCEPT MY TASTEBUDS FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 74 points

Bernicexoxo*
posted a quote
October 30, 2013 5:11pm UTC

everyone at my church thinks i worship the devil because i like to watch supernatural and i make a lot of demon jokes lol

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 60 points

capsized*
posted a quote
February 14, 2014 12:44pm UTC

[12 year old white girl voice] talk to me !! i don’t bite… hard(: <3

👍 this is good · read the comments · 51 points

Infinity on high*
posted a quote
February 7, 2014 6:40pm UTC

so my brother just saw me crying from period pains but he didn't know why and he tried to comfort me by saying 'i get those pains every day' and i just

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 40 points

capsized*
posted a quote
February 14, 2014 12:39pm UTC

•falling asleep on someone’s chest
•wrapping your arms around each other
•synching heartbeats and breathing slowly
•falling asleep in big t-shirts and underwear
•forehead kissies and murmured affections
•naps
•MONSTER TRUCKS

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 37 points

LettingSecretsGo
posted a quote
August 21, 2013 6:23pm UTC

Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home is.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 24 points

*Tori Leigh*
posted a quote
March 25, 2014 4:51pm UTC

so everyone should follow me on creaturebreeder
user is ChemicalArt hmu

👍 this is good · read the comments · 12 points

goawayanthony*
posted a quote
August 1, 2013 3:56pm UTC

And then god said
Let there be idiots

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

Chris*
posted a quote
August 12, 2013 8:16pm UTC

Him: You know when people first meet you they're all "Wow this girl is educated and smart and can hold a conversation" and then as they get to know you, you slowly become a sort of kinky dominatrix and everyone thinks you're a prostitute.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points

Chris*
posted a quote
August 14, 2013 5:12pm UTC

Me: I bet you use your hospital parking pass more than a credit card.
Him: Sure. Make fun of the cancer survivor. Ha, ha.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

moll :)*
posted a quote
April 13, 2013 1:53pm UTC

GUYS IM GOING
TO A JONAS
BROTHERS
CONCERT
SUMMER 13!!!!!!!!!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points

Amenah
posted a quote
January 16, 2015 7:09pm UTC

fox news will destroy your brain cells.
(brb, someone's trying to get into my no-go-zone.)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

ZombiexEater*
posted a quote
July 28, 2013 3:44pm UTC

Spongebob: PICKLES. NEED PICKLES!
Spongebob: *looks for pickles*
Spongebob: *finds cucumbers*
Spongebob: CUCUMBERS? CUCUMBERS ARE LIKE PICKLES!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

ToInfinityAndBeyond
posted a quote
September 16, 2013 7:38am UTC

Wittians please help me
I have this project wherein I have to make a website
Please suggest features to put on my project

👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points

Leslie and Alli *
posted a quote
March 19, 2013 10:47pm UTC

Fairy god mother: Dont p.ss me off.... I
have a wand and i ain't afraid to bibitty
bobbity boo your a.ss into a pile of
sh.t....Go ahead sweet heart make my
day

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

Tman89frost
posted a quote
August 4, 2013 2:27am UTC

That awkward moment :
When you realize that the magic school bus took a tour of a chickens vágina

👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points

absent *
posted a quote
May 9, 2013 8:11pm UTC

My day just changed dramatically. My kettle blew up! No more coffee....
*in pain face*

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

Tman89frost
posted a quote
August 13, 2013 12:32am UTC

My favorite part of the Bible is when God said 1 like=1 prayer

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

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Best Imdying Quotes This Year