my life for the past few weeks have been hell..... i dont know what to do... im trying to fix what i once had with my girlfriend but it seems like everytime i try, i fail. i miss making her smile and laugh at my jokes. i miss the way she makes me feel when she tells me that she misses me. i miss having her in my arms and not moving from where we are. i miss being able to go to her house and watch movies and cuddle together and tickle her to make her laugh and stay up late with her and then kiss her goodnight. i miss being able to wake up in the morning and have a smile on my face because i know when i see her shes gonna kiss me good morning and give me a big hug.. i miss alot of things about her. we're still together and im suprised she hasnt left me yet..... i havent been such a great boyfriend.. we fight alot and argue and she gets upset and i say sorry but she doesnt want to talk to me so i feel like a terrible person... im just like my father.. always gets angry or stressed or just annoyed. and i take my anger out on my girlfriend and i dont mean to because i love her more than anything but i dont realize that i take my anger out on her until i see her crying and then i just want to jump off a bridge.. when we first started to date things were great. they were perfect. we were happy and theres was nothing getting in our way. but now things have changed. one of my friends tried to steal her from me and make her love him again and he was her ex boyfriend too.. well thats what i thought he was doing but he wouldnt do that to me ... then it seemed like she was falling in love with him again and i was hurt bad... my heart was splitting in half and i couldnt do anything.. i want her to realize that some of the things she does hurts me... i want her to realize that im right for her, that she can go to me for anything and not be afraid to tell me anything.. yea i might get a little upset or mad because no one wants to hear bad news, but if u tell me things and not hide things from me then we wont be were are are now... we would still be happy and things would still be perfect like they use to be.... but i also want her to realize that even though i cant read her body language or her thoughts doesnt mean that i dont care. im trying my best to read you and understand you... you can read me like a book and know what im thinking of but i have trouble with that.... i want you to know that you mean more to me than anything.... you make me happy and you make me feel loved and u show me that you care about me.. tomorrow will be our ninth month being together and it makes me so happy that i have been with the most amazing girl in the whole world... i cant live without her.... i lost her once and i dont want to lose her again.. shes going to college and im afraid she will forget about me and go date a college guy behind my back... she needs to realize that i love her with all my heart and let me help her with all her problems...