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Alpaca Prophet *

Status: Eat. My. Shorts.

Member Since: 28 Dec 2014 01:58pm

Last Seen: 22 Feb 2019 09:05pm

Birthday: November 12

Location: In a manic state of depression

user id: 388793

545 Favorites
54 Following
36 Comment Points
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Artist. Musician. Deviant. INFJ. Retro-punk.
Undecided Calvinist, Bifurious Clarke Kisser.
Basketcase. Tumblr Trash. Manic Depressive.
Problematic. Pretentious Asshat.

"Basically Someone You Shouldn't Be Friends With"
Music I Like:
Imogen Heap, Eisley, ALT-J, FUN, Twenty 
One Pilots, Panic! At The Disco, Taylor Swift, 
Front Porch Step, Charlie Puth, No Outlet,
Halsey, Owl City (since 2007), Never Shout
Never, My Chemical Romance (MCR), 

The Killers, Jarrod Alonge, Childish Gambino, 
Rich Mullins, Green Day (any early 2000's
Punk band), Parks, Troye Sivan, Say Anything,
Modern Baseball, Blink 182, Social Repose
YouTubers I Like:
MyHarto, NigaHiga, chestersee, PewDiePie,
The Game Theorists, ExplosmEntertainment, 
Lindsey Stirling, Full of Eyes, RoseEllenDix, 
Vlogbrothers, Cyarin, OnisionSpeaks, Paint,
Emmablackery, Zeldaxlove64 RIP, All the gays.
Things you Should Ask me:
My music Taste, My interests, Whether the
Earth we live in is one giant Capri Sun™ and
the Moon and Sun are the hole for the Straw, 

If you want to talk to me about struggles go
ahead but I can't garuntee I'll help at all.,
What the song on my profile means to me,
Why bisexual people have to present as Gay
instead of Bi due to biphobia.

Currently on a lifelong hiatus

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  1. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    December 7, 2016 7:28pm UTC
    Thank You for giving me more love
    than I ever deserved. I wish you were still
    here so I could say "Good boy Chase"
    You were my best friend and my favorite
    Dog in this world. Good night Bud.
    You made me proud.

  2. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    November 25, 2016 12:02am UTC
    I'm left crying on the floor because God won't have me.

  3. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    November 21, 2016 6:42pm UTC
    Too many stars in my head,
    but these ones aren't from love.

  4. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    November 10, 2016 2:37pm UTC
    "Spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself
    and a little less time trying to impress people."
    -The Breakfast Club

  5. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    October 18, 2016 11:45am UTC
    1. Come and watch the skinny kid with a
    steadily declining mental health;
    2. and laugh as he attempts to give you
    what he cannot give himself.
    ~ Bo Burnham

  6. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    October 1, 2016 5:35pm UTC
    My concaved chest, my hair is a mess.
    My skin so thin, my ribs want back in.
    my nose grows, but my toes know
    when I will love the way I am.

  7. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    September 23, 2016 12:41pm UTC
    As someone who has never had cancer I hold the song
    "Cancer" by My Chemical Romance very close to my
    heart. Because it means something different for me, It
    means a place, a moment. A scene I dreamt over and
    over in my head when I wanted to pull a trigger or
    overdose. I played that song because I had something
    in common with the imaginary person who has cancer
    in that story: I felt close to death and wanted to say
    goodbye to everyone i loved. For years I've held that song
    tightly in my heart because no other song has ever
    described what I feel in those moments like that one.
    Not because I like sad songs, if that were the case I'd
    just listen to Mayday Parade. But this song is different,
    It's exectly what I would say if I was desperate and suicidal.
    I'd feel like my body is broken, weary, pale and faded.
    I'd feel that I need to say goodbye to those I love, and I
    would not kiss the person I truely love because it would
    only make it harder to leave.

    So I guess it's not the most relatable song to me, since I
    don't actualy have Cancer, my lips aren't chapped and
    faded from being poisoned from chemo. But at the same
    time it's more relatable to me than any other song. And it's
    been with me for a long time like an old friend. I know it
    well and it's changed along with me, sharing moments
    and feelings together. While those moments were
    dangerous they impacted me and listening to that song
    everytime has sometimes kept me alive. Strange I know.
    But I love that song more than any other, because it's the
    one that s stuck with me the longest and provided
    sanctuary when nothing else could.

  8. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    August 24, 2016 12:38am UTC
    Do you know how many nights I've spent writing and rewriting paragraphs only to never send them to you? How I've spent hours into the night staring at my screen or paper trying to find words that mean something, words that would be worth your attention. Only to give up because my mind isn't capable of expressing what I feel in words. I know that phrase is over-used but I really can't find the words that somehow others can to express what is felt about you. And I hate that, but right now I want you to know I love, appreciate, care for, admire? DAMNIIT THESE WORDS MEAN NOTHING THEY AREN'T EVEN CLOSE TO WHAT I FEEL. Maybe If I find more emotional words like "My heart pitter-patters for you" no, nobody says that anymore. What about how she affects my life? Who am I kidding, if I knew how she affected my life we wouldn't need to date. Why is this so hard?
    Maybe I'll have the words tomorow...
    I'm going to bed.

  9. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    August 24, 2016 12:37am UTC
    "I was once a blazing inferno, I felt everything, I was full of life.
    But I let my sparks fly and heat those I love, and as the cliche stands:
    they got burnt. The realization that my hands could hurt someone that
    badly made me detatch, quench my fire, becoming cold and heartless.
    Of course in every story about becoming a coldhearted Statue they soon
    follow with that special someone who melted them into a caring puppy.
    But I'm not Mr. Darcy or any of those people, I'm much too arogant and
    scared to let love break my stone layers. So I stop feeling things that
    cause me to do things, no desire, no attachment, no strings for you to play
    in my heart. Instead an Anylitical mind is much more effective at
    preventing hurt."
    I've thought this way for so long it's now second nature to anylize
    my relationships and treat people like priorities in a Chess game.
    Move this person here, let that one go. Completely ignoring the
    humanity behind these people. I will change, I will change
    Please make sure to tell me when I'm hardening up again. Please
    combat my anylitical attacks with sincear love that I currently
    don't have. And above all please don't become like me. Your
    fire is too caring, too full of feeling, and too sincear to let go.
    The world wouldn't be the same without your crackling love.

  10. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    August 15, 2016 7:16pm UTC
    She tore away her mask
    He tore away his mask

  11. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    August 15, 2016 7:15pm UTC
    "Dear Jamie,
    The only justice is love. Just let it go. You don't have to
    write back. You don't have to explain. This is not about
    being right. There is something true inside the song you
    can't stop listening to. You don't feel at home anywhere,
    but you feel at home when Aaron sings that song.
    Someone calling you a criminal does not make you a
    criminal, just as someone calling you a hero does not
    make you a hero. Nobody gets to name you. Find your
    identity in the one true place. If someone gives you
    something, then takes it back--that's okay. If someone
    says something or sees something, and then they don't--
    it's okay. Do not be like some broken lawyer making the
    same arguement over and over again, always reaching
    for rewind. Guilt and regret, those are awful places.
    You know that."
    Jamie Tworkowski

  12. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    August 4, 2016 1:49pm UTC
    Madness is the emergency exit,
    to the burning building we call life.

  13. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    July 16, 2016 11:23pm UTC
    Do you understand that
    the person inside my head hates
    me more than you ever could?
    And that sometimes they decide
    Who weilds our Weapons.

  14. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    July 13, 2016 6:05pm UTC

    I'm sorry I'm intuitive,
    but still can't tell if you're saying no.
    I'm sorry I have major Anxiety,
    but act confidently in things i don't know.
    I'm sorry I'm so Tall,
    and that my Pride is Taller.
    I'm sorry my heart is small,
    and that my patience is Smaller.
    I'm sorry I can't feel you,
    but pretend that It's Your fault.
    I'm sorry my House is Hell,
    but expect you to enjoy it all.

  15. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    July 13, 2016 5:57pm UTC
    It's incredible how an error of thinking in your Worldview,
    can be a matter of Life or Death.

  16. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2016 5:09pm UTC
    You can't erase Words with a Kiss

  17. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    June 1, 2016 12:15pm UTC
    Step out of from the rafters,
    put on your wing tipped shoes and fly
    Come to your lover,
    out from your feathery covers,
    and learn to be Alive.

  18. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    May 19, 2016 12:51pm UTC
    *I usually don't do Surveys but what the heck
    I screwed up 81% of my teenage life
    [] Kissed someone before dating
    [x] Gotten a phone taken away at school
    [x] Gotten caught chewing gum
    [x] Gotten caught cheating on a test
    Total so far: 3
    [x] Arrived late to class more than 5 times
    [x] Didn't do homework over 5 times
    [x] Turned at least 2 projects in late
    [x] Missed school just because you felt like it
    [] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class
    Total so far: 7
    [] Got your mum, dad, SISTER etc to get you out of school
    [x] Text people during class
    [x] Passed notes
    [x] Threw stuff across the room
    [x] Laughed at the teacher
    Total so far: 11
    [x] Took pictures during school hours
    [x] Called someone during school hours
    [x] Listened to iPod, CD, etc during school hours
    Total so far: 14
    [] Threw something at the teacher
    [x] Went outside the classroom without permission
    [x] Broke the dress code
    [x] Failed a class [most of them]
    [x] Ate food during class
    Total so far: 18
    [x] Been called the worst student
    [x] Punished on a school trip because you behaved badly
    [x] Didn't take your stuff to school
    [x] Given a teacher the finger when they weren't looking
    Total so far: 22
    [x] Faked your parents signature
    [x] Slept in class
    [x] Cursed at a teacher behind their back
    [x] Copied homework
    [x] Got in trouble with the principal/vice principal/dean
    []Thrown food in the lunch room
    Total so far: 27
    Multiply by 3 for a total.
    Post as "I have screwed up ...% of my teenage life

  19. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2016 3:59pm UTC
    I feel broken,
    my speech, emotions, and mind.
    words go unspoken 'cause my mind can't compose it.
    Now my thoughts get left behind...
    ...I can't ignore it.
    If I compared my words to pond,
    I'd be a ruin, dried up in confusion.
    never able to move beyond.
    I need to try,
    for years I've wallowed away.
    I need to touch the sky but this mountain I won't climb.
    fear of failure is my dismay.
    [Journal Entry #29]

  20. Alpaca Prophet * Alpaca Prophet *
    posted a quote
    May 9, 2016 9:14pm UTC
    I'm broKen DarlIng, return me to my
    I'm broken DarLing, return to
    Maker I'm brok-return me DarLing
    I'm broken
    return me
    to my


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