D
isgusted.
“You.
You looked at me with what I thought was love.
You smiled at me with what I thought was
affection.
You made me laugh till every part of my body
shook.
I was in heaven, I was in your arms.
Arms that I thought loved, arms that I thought were a convention
of honesty and trust.
Arms that I thought were the one place I could die and it would
be alright!!
You were supposed to love me!
You were supposed to tell me that my demons were yours.
We were supposed to fight them together, you’d be batman
and I’d be your sidekick.
Now, now I am choking on my words.
I’m am suffocating under your heated gaze.
The look of disgust that’s proudly sitting on your face is
a like a dagger that drives itself into my chest.
But of course it misses and you have to thrust and thrust and
thrust with force every single time and just as you pierce my
heart you stop!
Is this what you wanted!?”
“Yes!
This is exactly what I wanted!
I need to make you feel pain.
Not just the pain of rejection!
The pain I feel when I look at you every day.
The disgust I feel for you when you’re lying in my
arms.
Arms that aren't meant for you!
Arms that you've colonized, thinking I cared.
You disgust me.
The Disgust I feel for you is like a hate that burns deep in the
pit of my heart.
The Disgust I feel for you is like a hunger I can’t satisfy
until you are broken.
And even then that isn’t enough.
Don’t you get it!!
This.
Us.
This was never real it was a sick illusion for a sick little
girl."
