Lost and Insecure

Chapter 5
I have never felt heartbreak or betrayal before but now I’m feeling them all together. Why did I let myself fall for him? Why didn’t I just say that he couldn’t sit with me? It’s too late now, and I always say not to live in the past, so I’m going to just put it behind me and move on. I got out of my bed and put on my outfit. I went along with my normal morning routine and acted like nothing even happened. Spencer didn’t ask any questions and I’m guessing she caught along to what I was trying to do. My day was pretty much like yesterday but a little less intense. I could tell some other big thing happened so most people were hooked on that now. I was keeping my act up really good but I didn’t know how lunch would be. To be honest, I really didn’t want to go at all. I went to my locker right before lunch and Mackenzie and Dylan walked by and laughed. I didn’t know what they were laughing at and I didn’t care, but I’m sure I would find out soon anyway. Right before I walked into the lunch room I took a deep breath, fixed my face to look like nothing was wrong, and then walked on the line to get my lunch. I stood there for a few minutes and then Sebastian and his friends came on line behind me. Suddenly I felt really uncomfortable because I knew they all knew about me and Sebastian. I didn’t turn around I just kept looking forward and tried to pretend I didn’t have anything to do with them. They all started to laugh and I felt like they were laughing at me and I just couldn’t take it. I walked out of line and went right to the lunch table. I guess I’m not having lunch today, I thought. I looked over at Sebastian and his friends to see if they were still laughing at me and I saw Spencer walk through the door and flash him a dirty look. She walked right over to my table and sat down. “What are you doing here?” I asked her.
“Well I knew you had lunch with Sebastian this period and I wanted to check if you were ok. I know you were trying to keep up your little act but I wasn’t sure how long you could. Are you ok?”
I shook my head, “No.” Spencer gave me a hug and I put my head on her shoulder. I held in the tears as much as I could, but some slipped out.
“Incoming.” Spencer said. I picked my head up from her shoulder and wiped away the tears. And again he sat down at his table without even a simple Hi. A few seconds later Mackenzie walked over and sat next to him and that really hit me. “Bailey just don’t pay attention to them.” I turned around and faced the other way.
“This is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.” I admitted.
“I know. But I’m only a phone call away if you need me. I better get back to class though. Are you gonna be ok?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
“I love you.” Spencer said.
“Love you too. And Spenc, thanks.”
“It’s what I’m here for.” She said and then left. I sat there alone for a while and then suddenly Sebastian stood up and then sat down at my table.
“Bailey we need to talk.” He said.
“We already talked Sebastian. You made your decision. You should go talk to Mackenzie.” I said.
“I don’t want to talk to her; I never wanted to talk to her.”
“Then I think you might have made the wrong decision.”
“And that’s why I’m trying to fix it right now.”
“You can’t fix it. The damage is already done. You’re already going to the dance with her and there’s nothing we can do about that.”
“Yes there is. Say you’ll go with me right now and it’s fixed.” He said, making it sound so simple.
“You don’t get it do you? You really think coming over here and saying a few things is going to make up for all of this, cause it’s not.”
“Then tell me what I have to do and I’ll do it.”
“Sebastian, you are not who I thought you were. You think that just because you’re you, you can go around breaking girls hearts and then ask for their forgiveness and they’re just gonna melt right into your hands, well that is not going to work on me.”
“So you’re not gonna go to the dance with me?” he asked cluelessly.
“Goodbye Sebastian.” I stood up and walked out of the lunch room, again. This time I wouldn’t be going back into his trap.

outfit- http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=77331686