"I love you" She says. "Prove it." He replied. "I don't know how..." She forced out. "Then you don't really love me." He walked away. Her heart was shattered. She cried and prayed. For her to replay that day.
We all have our own versions and levels of hell. Do you want to know what my hell is? Finding out 4 months into a marriage my husband is still not over his ex. It's having him come home on his lunch hour while I'm laying in pain, that he misses what he had with her. It was a simpler time. That he doesn't know how long our marriage is going to last so he checks up on that one specific ex to see if he would still have a shot. Hell is loving someone so much, trusting them with your entire life, soul, basically everything you have to offer, just to have them break you in 0.5 seconds. That is hell.
I It happens in degrees. Water level receding, oxygen one lungful at a time. The guilt quieter, rounder at the edges: I go days without thinking of you once—later, weeks. II It's peeling oranges and tasting the sweet before the sting, it's looking out the window and watching birds fit back into the sky, one by one. III This is me releasing your hand, one finger at a time, until all the warmth has run away, because I'm no longer afraid of the cold. IV It happens in degrees. The sun rising in shades of gold, me rising with it. —PORTRAIT OF A HEARTBREAK IN REVERSE
We keep walking into love again, without cauterizing the wounds of our previous heartbreaks. This is why loving again feels like salt on open wounds. This is why trusting again feels like old deceit and betrayal exhumed.
How did this happen? What have I done? I was so happy with him He was everything I have ever wanted Then I ruined it All because of a stupid little thing How could I have let the fear control me? Always putting myself down and believing I'm not good enough Letting the toxic thoughts come to the surface I know I shouldn't I know that I should have dismissed them Why must I sabotage myself? Why can't I let myself be happy? Why can't I believe that I am good enough to be loved? I ruined my happiness I hurt him so bad I wish I could take the pain from you I wish I could take back what I did All I want is you My reason to smile and laugh Why do we realize too late that were in love? Why does it take losing them to make you realize how much you need him? I want the touch of your hands on me, I want your lips on mine I just want your attention, your gaze on me, your arms around me I want you I need you I am so lost without you I promise I'll be yours, forever I promise I won't leave, not until you don't want me Without you, I am a robot Moving through time, mechanically, getting up only because I must Going through the motions, putting on a fake smile Numb, empty, and emotionless Everything in me is screaming to give up But I can't let go of the hope that there might be a chance If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise I'll never hurt you again I promise I'll let go of the fear and insecurities I promise I'll stop letting it control me Please, my love, take me back I might be stupid, insecure and a bit crazy But you'll never find anyone else who's in love with you as much as me
Are you serious? ; you're still wanting him? While theres another guy who really loves you & wont treat you like sh-t. He has broken girls hearts & quickly moves on to the next ; he hits you up & steals your heart wit ha simple text. While the other guy tries hard to just get your attention ; you leave him wondering as his heart breaks in two different sections. You cry cuz you get jealous cuz of the girls he's with ; while the other guy tries cheering you up but you dnt even listen to him. This is your fault for feeling so hurt ; you choose the bad guys quick with out thinking it first. You left the other guy who would treat you like a Queen ; for a guy who cant even hold one heart to keep. Its time to relocate your heart to someone that wont hurt you ; especially not to somone who doesnt even deserve you.
Fading Feelings What do you except? ; For my feelings to go away quick? I was fighting for your love ; fought so hard it got me sick. We're supposed to fight together ; it should've been equal. People leave love ; love dont leave people. I gave it my all ; why did you lose feelings? You promised forever ; now its hard to keep believing. You say you love me ; but you dont feel the same. Tell me what changed? ; why did your feelings fade? Im crying & crying ; this pain is hard to hold.. I'm losing the one I love ; my heart remains cold. You broke up with me ; I cant believe this is the end. Im still in-love with you ; I'm sorry but im not strong enough to be friends.
“Stress from heartbreak can flood the body with hormones, specifically cortisol, which causes a heavy achy feeling you get in your chest area.” That explains it. My heart is hurting, literally and figuratively.
~ On this dark and stormy night as she sat watching the rain.. contemplating if she should try again.. but she didn't know if she could take that kinda pain... everyone says she better off but what did she really gain? ~