Lend Me Your
Heart
Fifty-Two
It rained all day, through lunch, dance practice, dinner, and
everything else that happened later that day; just a reminder
that we’re teenagers and we should all be depressed.
Zach never came to dinner, so I assumed he was still in the
infirmary, that is, until Joey ran up to me, soaking wet and
taking in panicked, ragged breaths.
“He went to a party,” he breathed. “Mark
Daly’s annual post New Year’s party.”
“F*ck,” I whispered, my brow creasing in panic.
“I’ll walk with you, but it’s, like, pouring
rain out there,” he told me, sounding just as nervous as I
felt.
Joey and Zach had gotten closer ever since Zach and I started
dating.
They trusted each other and they had a lot in
common…sports-wise anyway.
“How did he get there?” I asked.
“Some guys from the football team gave him a
ride.”
“Why would they do that? Don’t they know what
happened last year?”
“Everyone knows what happened last year.”
“So why would they offer him a ride to that stupid f*cking
party?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure
out.”
“Great. Just great.”
“Come on,” said Joey, grabbing my hand.
“We’ve got to get there before he does something
stupid.”
I broke a sweat as we fast-walked to Mark’s house, but
luckily you couldn’t tell because of the rain.
We looked like complete idiots, going to a party in soaking wet
clothes.
I didn’t even have time to grab a jacket before we left, so
I was left in a drenched outfit that consisted of a beige
sweater, a maroon infinity scarf, jeans, and leather boots that
were sure to be ruined by the end of the night.
It wasn’t a very long walk, but it felt like it took hours
to get there with so many thoughts running through my head.
What if Zach was drunk?
What if he was hitting on other girls?
What if he was crying in a corner making a fool out of
himself?
Even worse, what if he’s feeling suicidal like Joey said he
would be?
When we finally arrived at the house, music was blaring and all
the lights were turned on like they were the last time I was
here.
I got a strange feeling in my stomach, remembering what happened
here at the last party when I barely even knew Zach.
“Hey, you alright?” Joey asked me. “You look a
little pale.”
I swallowed nervously and nodded.
“Mhmm,” I muttered, shooting him a fake smile.
Joey was like the sweet older brother I never had.
He actually cared about my feelings and looked out for me; I was
surprised when I found out he’d never had a girlfriend a
few months ago.
That’s why it hurt so much when I lied to him.
Of course I wasn’t okay, but what was I supposed
to say?
Tell him to take care of Zach on his own?
No way.
We were in this together; Zach meant a lot to both of us.
“You could wait out here if you want while I go check on
him,” Joey said softly, searching my eyes for some sort of
emotion.
I shuddered at the thought of being left alone at this house and
shook my head.
“No!” I said a little to loud, making him jump.
“Sorry. No. I don’t want to be alone here.”
“Right. Sorry. Okay, okay. Let’s go inside then.
We’re wasting time.”
Joey grabbed my upper arm and dragged me inside that huge house
in the Absolute Middle of Nowhere Vermont and led me through the
crowd in the living room.
Our eyes scanned the entire area before we shrugged and continued
towards the other rooms.
“Where is he?” I whimpered, my eyes starting to water
after we looked through every room on the first floor.
“Where is who?” I heard a familiar voice say from
behind me.
Zach.
“Oh,” I breathed, spinning around to meet those
beautiful, blue eyes I’d been longing to see since lunch.
“You’re okay.”
I threw my arms around his torso and squeezed him tight.
“What does you mean ‘I’m okay’?” he
asked, anger rising in his voice.
I bit my lip, pulling away from him to give him some space.
“I-uh…we just wanted to make sure you were alright.
I didn’t know you went to a party until Joey told me and we
wanted to make sure you weren’t drinking too much for
anything,” I said with a shrug, earning a nudge in the rib
from Joey.
“What?” I asked him, creasing my eyebrows in
confusion.
“You know exactly what,” he muttered, glaring at
me.
Joey never glared at me…what did I even say?
“Who f*cking told my girlfriend what today is?” Zach
suddenly yelled, his face filled with pure rage as he clenched
his jaw and squinted his eyes, causing a commotion.
“Who told her?” he screamed, his voice cracking.
He was glaring at Joey, but the question was sort of directed
towards anyone, I guess.
“Zach, please,” I whispered, resting my hands on his
chest. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Of course it’s a big deal,” he
snapped, pushing my away from him. “You know exactly what
today is and now you’re going to feel bad for me and try to
comfort me and give me advice. Dammit, Layne. This isn’t
what I want! This isn’t going to help me start
over!”
“What do you want, then?” I asked. “Maybe we
can fix things.”
“You can’t just fix the death of your best friend,
Layne!” he screamed, causing people to stop talking and
start whispering.
“Zach,” I said softly, trying not to make things
worse. “Zach, it happened a year ago. It wasn’t you
fault.”
“Today, Layne. It happened a year ago today and it was my
own f*cking fault. You know that! Do you
ever listen to a word I say to you?”
“Zach, I don’t want to fight with you. I love
you.”
“Well, you shouldn’t love me.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I hurt people. I’ve hurt you before and you know
just as well as I do that I’ve put you in danger
before.”
“I’m past it. Leave it alone, Zach, please,” I
begged, my eyes watering.
“No, Layne. See, if we stay together, I’m just going
to keep hurting you. I’m a monster. I just put people in
danger. Bad luck revolves around me and there’s nothing I
can do about it.”
“So what?”
“So I don’t want you anywhere near me. I care about
you too much. I cared about Aiden and look what happened to him.
Look what happened to my mother. Jesus, Layne, if anything ever
happened to you I wouldn’t be able to live with
myself.”
I'M SORRY IN ADVANCE
OKAY.
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takemetoneverland* · 1 decade ago
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WHYYYYYYYYYYY ???? AHHHHHH