Lend Me Your
Heart
Fifty-One
The next few weeks were kind of uneventful, but I liked it that
way.
I liked uneventful because Zach and I got to say “I love
you” to each other at the most perfect times now and we
kissed a lot and we joked around and had fun and we had each
other’s back like any two best friends would.
On New Years Eve, Zach made a resolution to keep his positive
attitude and new outlook on what his life could be like.
I made a resolution to always take care of the people I love.
I knew it was a cheesy resolution, but there was honestly nothing
else I wanted to do or change about my present life.
Everything was perfect.
I just wanted to make a promise to myself that I’d always
take care of my loved ones.
Zach and I…we had it all figured out.
Or at least, that’s what it seemed like until his birthday
came around.
It was also the day his mother and Aiden, his best friend,
died.
Something bad always happened on his birthday (January
27th) whether his father invested in the wrong
company or he got in a car crash with his best friend since they
were both drunk because it was Zach’s Annual Depression
Day.
I didn’t find all of this out until Joey told me at lunch
on Friday.
Well, of course I knew about his mom and his best friend dying on
the day he was born, but I didn’t know it was on January
27th.
“How are you?” Joey asked with a sympathetic face as
I set down a plate of caesar salad.
“I’m fine…” I said hesitantly.
“Why?”
His eyes widened.
“It’s Zach’s birthday,” he said, nearly
making me choke on my own saliva. “You didn’t
know?”
I shook my head.
“Well, he probably didn’t tell you for a reason.
He’s going to be in an extremely bad mood today.”
“Extremely?” I asked nervously, my eyes scanning the
dining hall in search of him.
“Suicidal,” Joey said, making me gasp.
I gnawed on my bottom lip, my eyes still searching all over for
him.
My heart was beating a million miles per second, hoping he was
okay and not angry with me or anyone else for some reason we
wouldn’t know.
“Don’t worry,” said Sarah. “If you
pretend like you don’t know it’s his birthday, he
won’t take it out on you.”
“Are you sure?” I asked softly, biting my pinky
nail.
“I’m positive. Just pretend like everything’s
fine,” she told me.
I nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to remain calm.
I knew today was going to be extremely difficult for Zach, so I
wanted to make everything seem as normal as possible.
Normal was always good; normal was effortless for Zach and I.
I just hoped it’d be easy to act “normal”
today.
“There he is,” Matt said, pointing a finger to the
door, where Zach walked in, taking off his jacket that was
covered in snowflakes and holding it in his arm.
He had dark circles under his eyes and his head hung a little
lower than it normally would.
The cafeteria got quieter when he walked in.
I wanted everyone to keep talking; make today seem like any other
day for him, but that was impossible considering everyone at this
school was grieving over Aiden’s death that happened just
one year ago today.
I wanted to run up to him and hug him and tell him I love him so
much, but since I wouldn’t do that on a regular day, I had
to restrain myself.
He got in line, head down with his hands in his pockets, and went
through the buffet, throwing slobs of whatever was out onto his
plate.
People whispered and wouldn’t stop starring at my poor
Zach.
I wanted to get up and slap every one of them across the face and
tell them to mind their own business, but I had to restrain
myself from doing that, too.
Finally, after getting a cup of water he started towards our
table.
I felt like a freak for starring at him for such a long time, so
I turned my head back towards my plate and stuffed my face with
lettuce.
I saw him sit down next to me out of the corner of my eye.
Act natural, I thought, continuing to chew and sitting
up straight.
I swallowed nervously and turned to him.
He was watching me carefully.
I could tell.
It was the first time I’d seen him today, so now it made
sense why he’d skipped breakfast.
He usually only skipped breakfast when he had a big test during
first period.
However, I knew he didn’t have one today so that’s
why I was so confused this morning as to why he didn’t show
up.
Now it all made sense.
I looked up into his blue eyes, which weren’t as glossy as
they would normally be, but just as beautiful as they were on the
day I first met him.
“Hi,” I breathed, captivated, as I moved my chair
closer to his and rested my head on his upper arm.
“Hi beautiful,” he whispered into my ear, making me
relax a little.
I smiled up at him, kissing his cheek before returning to my
salad.
He didn’t even touch his plate, which was strange since he
loved to eat.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” I asked him, earning
glares from Joey, Sarah, Casey, and Matt.
“I’m not really that hungry today,” he said,
slouching in his seat. “Besides, I’m not feeling too
well so I think I might go to the infirmary instead of basketball
practice.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “Let me know if you need
anything. I love you.”
“I will,” he said, low enough so that nobody else at
our table could hear, kissing the top of my head. “Thanks,
sweet heart. I love you, too.”
With that, he got up and walked away from me.
Little did I know, I’d never see that sweet side of him
again for a very, very long time.
I'M SORRY IN ADVANCE
OKAY.
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zxw889 · 1 decade ago
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I'm so afraid. I don't even know what to think. I'm just very afraid.