(chapter four)
"We're here," Seth said as he idled outside my house, his engine still running.
I stared up at my little white house, my eyes glazing over as I stared at it. It had been weeks since I saw my mom, maybe even more than a month. I closed my eyes, worrying what Dean would do to me when he found me.
"Are you really okay?" he asked. "I'm sorry about the car thing. I really didn't see you," I watched as he winced, and I shook my head.
"I've had worse," I said without thinking. I snapped my mouth shut.
His eyebrows raised slightly. "Really."
I laughed nervously, my eyes flitting around. "Uh, I have to go." I went to open the door and his hand caught my knee. 
That's when the fear filled me and I flinched away, pressing myself into the door of his car.
I cowered into my knees, hating myself for being afraid, but still too terrified to look up and get hit. 
"Haden," he said in an almost soft voice. 
I looked up, realizing he was still sitting in his seat, looking at me with worried eyes, both hands in his lap. I swallowed, embarassed, but also relieved he wasn't going to hit me.
"Sorry," I blurted out. "Bye," I said, rubbing a hand over my face, scolding myself silently.
Stupid! Obviously he wasn't going to hit you. Now he thinks you're some paranoid freak.
But you are a paranoid freak, aren't you? A voice inside my head said. 
I swallowed roughly.
"I was just going to ask when I was going to see you again," he said, his hair falling into his forehead and his nose crinkling adorably.
I bit my lip. "I have a boyfriend."
He looked away, swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing, and turned back to me a smile now on his face. "Just as friends, I mean."
Like Dean would allow that. 
"I can't," I choked out. I can't do anything. Everything will get me hurt. Nothing is safe.
Nothing at all.
I left, leaving him in the car. 
When my mom saw me, tears filled her eyes. "I missed you baby," she said, her voice slightly choked up.
We hugged for a long time. I felt safe for once, breathing in my mom's floral perfume.
When I was upstairs in my room, my phone started to ring.
I scrambled to answer it, knowing it would be Dean. My finger hesitated on the answer button.
Maybe I should let it ring. Maybe I should say we're done.
Maybe I could tell everyone what Dean did to me when no one was around.
But I answered it.
"Hi," I said, my voice smaller than I thought it'd be.
"Hi baby," he said, his voice soft. I closed my eyes, hugging my knees to my chest. "I miss you. Please come home."
"I am home," I whispered.
"Please," he pleaded. "I love you. You're all I have, Hades," he said using my nickname. "I'll never let it get that bad again," he whispered and I swore his voice was shaking. "I promise."
"Don't do this," I sobbed. "Don't do this to me."
"I love you," his voice was choked up. He kept repeating that he loved me.
My strength crumbled. "I love you too."
And I did. When he was the Dean I knew. The one with green eyes like sea glass. Not dark angry ones that seemed endless. Not the Dean who seemed capable of doing anything without remorse. I hated that Dean.
"Come home then," he said.
So I swallowed down the fear I felt, and said, "Okay. Okay I will."
I could hear his smile as he said, "It will be so much better. I'll be better."
I could only close my eyes and hope he was telling the truth.

STUPID HADEN lol. comment if you want me to notify you when the next chap is up! (: