Finding My Way
Chapter 7: Ben's P.O.V
“Ben?” Jamie lightly knocked on the door and walked into my bedroom.
“What is it Jay?” I asked, picking my head up. I looked at my clock and saw it was past 1 in the morning.
“Why are you still awake?”
“I had a bad dream again. Loretta was in it. I miss her.” Her eyes were glossy and I sighed, patting my bed and scooting over for her to join me. She rushed over as soon as I did this and slid in beside me, holding onto me tightly.
“I’m sorry, Jay. I know you miss her, I do too. It’ll be okay.” I soothed her, rubbing her back. I felt so bad for her. My eight year old sister lost her best friend only three months ago. She was so young and confused, it was so unfair to her. I could never imagine how Valerie felt every day. I would be lost without my little sister.
Jamie nodded and sniffled, snuggling into me as I settled back down into bed.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
I lightly sang the lyrics to Fix You by Coldplay to her, until her breathing became steadied and she fell asleep. When I was sure she was out, I stopped singing and just stared up at the ceiling for a moment. Valerie deserved a lot more credit than she got. I remembered hearing the whispers, “It’s because of her sister; she’s been wacked ever since,” at the preparation for auditions, and I couldn’t believe people could be so ignorant. It’s only been about three months since her little sister, her number one fan, was kidnapped.
How does one even cope with that? I was seriously impressed with how put-together she was. She carried herself so well and looked as confident and happy as she always had when she walked through the halls. But I knew she wasn’t okay. And I knew that because of her meltdown in the hallway when she completely snapped at me. That was when I realized that Valerie Anderson totally hated me.
I didn’t know why, but it bothered me more than I thought it should. Why should I care what she thought? We weren’t friends anymore. Sometimes I missed her and the fun times we used to have together, but we both moved on. I was sick and tired of being teased about her. I used to have a crush on her when we were younger and all of my friends made my life miserable for it. I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship, and I knew they were really close to telling her. That made me angry. I hated being angry at my friends, and I blamed Valerie for coming in between us, the same way that any stupid thirteen year old boy would.
So I just started being a total jerk to her to try and get over her. And it worked. I didn’t like Valerie anymore. But I was sad we weren’t friends anymore. So I continued to be a jerk to her. But now I felt bad. I felt terrible. She just lost her inspiration for acting and all I’ve done is been a jerk to her. I knew I owed her an explanation. But I wasn’t good at apologizing.
I sighed and kissed Jamie’s head, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.
Valerie’s P.O.V.
I lightly knocked on the door and after being pleasantly greeted by Sharon, I made my way up to Ben’s room. I knocked on the door, and didn’t hear an answer. I gently pushed the door open and peeped my head inside.
“Oh, wow. Um, sorry.”
“Aly?” Ben broke away from the girl he was kissing and looked over at me, confused.
I sighed. “Did you forget?” I asked, completely ignoring his usage of my old nickname.
He looked lost for a moment and then realization dawned on his face. “Oh, yeah I totally spaced! Sorry Val--”
“It’s okay, just go over your lines later and make sure you know the first few scenes, we have our first rehearsal tomorrow.” I reminded him.
“Hi Valerie.” Natalie said as got off of Ben and helped him off of the couch.
“Hi Natalie.” I smiled at her. Natalie was in my French class at school. She was always happy and really sweet.
“Oh! I love your shoes!” She gushed.
I laughed and looked down to examine my tie-dye toms. “Thanks. Sorry I interrupted. I’ll leave you guys to it.” I smiled before turning around and walking back to my house.
I was so angry. Not because Ben was kissing Natalie, but because he totally blew me off. I thought he was changing. But he was still a conceited jerk. I knew he wasn’t serious about the play. I just wished that someone who really deserved the part and would work hard for it had gotten to be Romeo. But I wasn’t surprised. I was just waiting for Ben to screw up. I was right. Ben Jackson was so predictable.
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