xxconfetticupcakexx's Favorites

xxconfetticupcakexx

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
April 8, 2013 4:15pm UTC

*period is one day late*
me: that's it, i'm the next virgin mary
FETCH ME THE DONKEY
WHERE THE F/CK IS MY JOSEPH
do i throw a baby shower or...?
look gold and frankincense are all good, really, but i kind of want an itunes voucher please and thank you

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jimmy365
posted a quote
April 8, 2013 7:28pm UTC

girl: sir can i go to the toilet
male teacher: no you cannot you know the rules wait until the end of the lesson, how dare you ask such a question when you know that all toilet trips must be taken at breaks and lunch, i can not believe you would jeopardize your education for something that can wait one more hour, you ungrateful child
girl: but im having girl issues
male teacher: omfg go
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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KT_143
posted a quote
April 8, 2013 2:56pm UTC

Dear tampon and pad companies,
Please make your items quieter to open.
Sincerely,
The whole restaurant/household/bathroom
now knows I am on my period thank you.

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Im_awesome_xD
posted a quote
January 15, 2013 10:13pm UTC

When my friend takes long to reply on skype
Me: WTF DID YOU GO???????????
Me: PLEASE
Me: DONT LEAVE ME
Me: NO
Me: COME BACK (WHISPERS)
Me: *SILENTLY CRIES*
Me: *EMOTIONAL SONG COMES UP IN THE BACKGROUND*
Me: *LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW*
Friend: um... why am I your friend again?
Me: Don’t you use that tone with me, peasant!
Friend: Oh god...

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dolph*
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 5:25pm UTC

All men are the same?
Excuse me.
But who made Witty Profiles?

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 6:57pm UTC

normal person: sings lyrics
me: sings lyrics
sings backup vocals
sings guitar riffs
air-drums entire song
headbangs
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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WeAreTheBoys
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 4:15pm UTC

I no longer bring women home because my dad stabs them with a knife to make sure they're not inflatable...
and then I have to buy a new one.

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 6:29pm UTC

friend:
if you're procrastinating and
you know it clap your hands
me:
ill clap later
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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Eli22b
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 3:09pm UTC

Me: I should really get started on my homework.
Witty: lol nope
Wattpad: lol nope
Facebook: lol nope
YouTube: lol nope
Twitter: lol nope.
Netflix: lol nope
Fridge: lol nope
Sleep: lol nope
Me: Whats this homework thing you speak of?

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bella5296
posted a quote
January 15, 2013 11:02pm UTC

I believe in God with all my heart.
Jesus Christ is my savior.
And I'm not trying to shove it down your throat,
but may I just say,
you are REALLY missing out.

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 5:38pm UTC

my hobbies include
somehow forgetting to eat like all
day and then consuming 2000 calories
in a 30 minute period
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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dolph*
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 2:05pm UTC

A 12 year old girl in China lost her virginity
Her name was Sum Yung Ho.

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phee
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 3:11pm UTC

teacher: where's your book?!
student: at home.
teacher: and what's it doing there?
student: having more fun than me.

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dolph*
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 1:47pm UTC

I was sitting in the library and an attractive boy was staring at me and smiling, so I decided I had to do something about it. So I write my name and number on a piece of paper, fold it up, put it in my pocket, and decide when he gets up to leave, I'll hand it to him.
He gets up to leave so I walk over and hand him the paper. He looks a bit confused but he smiles and takes it, and I walked away and sat down feeling like a boss for about 5 minutes. Then I reach into my pocket and find a bit of paper with my name and number on. And realize that I'd actually given him a receipt from a Tesco meal deal.
I'm as smooth as a razor honestly.

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phee
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 4:31pm UTC

Let's face it
anything with raisins in it,
would be ten times better
with chocolate chips instead.
for example: a box of raisins

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 8:08am UTC

A brief summary of each Disney princess:
Snow White:
-She's only 14 years old
-She's searching for her true love
-Seriously, though, she'd be, like, a freshman in high school
-She lives with 7 men. Deal with it.
-She pretty much trusts anyone
-She gets random animals to do her chores
-She doesn't believe in washing her fruit before she eats it
Cinderella:
-She's19 years old
-She hangs out with mice
-They make all her dresses
-She's treated like a slave by her family
-She has a BAMF fair godmother
-She's the queen of "if the shoe fits"
-Has anybody ever seen the sequels?
-Seriously, am I the only one?
Aurora:
-Aouurrooouuurra
-She's 16
-She sleeps through the entire movie
-Honestly, that's all I know
-Trust me, her fate is a lot worse in the original story. Look it up!
Ariel:
-She is also 16 years old
-She is a hoarder
-Screw destiny, she's a rebel
-How the heck did she have a kid?
-Oh, did I mention that she's a mermaid?
Belle:
-She's 17 years old
-She wants adventure in the great white somewhere
-She loves books but lets a sheep take a bite out of one
-Doesn't take attitude from anyone
-She's just awesome, alright?
Jasmine:
-She's almost 16
-Seriously, Jafar is trying to seduce a 15 year old. And Aladdin is 18, so if anything happens between them, there could be trouble
-Sneaks out at night
-She's considered Disney's first "ethnic" princess
Pocahontas:
-She's 18 years old
-Seriously, this entire movie is WRONG on so many levels. It is really historically inaccurate
-She doesn't even end up marrying John Smith
-She has a pet raccoon
-Her best friend is a tree
-She also has a sequel
Fa Mulan:
-Is as swift as a coursing river
-With all the force of a great typhoon
-And all the rage of a raging fire
-She's mysterious as the dark side of the moon
-Seriously, she's a BAMF
-She's also a cross-dresser
-DISHONOR ON YOUR COW
Tiana:
-Not a lot of people know her
-Her ethnicity has been met with mixed reviews
-She turns into a frog
-She's a works a lot
-I want her food
Merida:
-If yeh had theh chance teh change yeh fate,woullllld yeh?
Rapunzel:
-She is eighteen
-She has bad hair days
-She's us
-Seriously, guys
-She. Is. Us.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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chocolate_lover
posted a quote
January 15, 2013 9:54pm UTC

how to make a girl mad in two steps:
1. take a picture of her
2. don't show it to her
trueee >.<

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 9, 2013 8:42pm UTC

my mirror is telling me
yes
but my webcam is telling me
no
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

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