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xoxlovinlifexox

lilmissjade12
posted a quote
September 1, 2012 8:49pm UTC

Talk dirty to me.
Mud.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

Kizzie29
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 9:26pm UTC

Maybe karma would be a bit nicer if everyone stopped calling her a b/tch., f,if

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 329 points

xxLonelyLoverxx
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 9:46pm UTC

Strangers → Friends → Close Friends → Crush → Relationship →
Heartbroken → Barely Friends → Strangers.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 448 points

momentsinlife
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 11:46pm UTC

spiders. they just come in your house, walk around,
scare the sh/t out of people, and leave their billion
eggs to hatch.
rude.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 671 points

str0ng
posted a quote
August 7, 2012 12:06pm UTC

Dad:why are you crying?
Girl:my boyfriend dumped me!
Dad:(grabs shot gun) I'll be back.
while later dad comes back,
Girl:what the hell! why did you go kill him?
Dad:I didn't
Girl:where did you go?
Dad:to get you icecream
Girl:why the hell did you bring the shot gun?!
Dad:so I could get it for free
freakquotes.com

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1990 points

KristinaBrunicardi
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 9:05pm UTC

Jenna Marbles needs her own fricken
t a l k s h o w .

👍 this is good · read the comments · 827 points

cheerfreakk
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 9:35pm UTC

when i'm older i shall
open a classic rock-themed
pizza shop & i shall call it
another one bites the crust.
nmf/nmq

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1034 points

xashleyx01
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 11:53am UTC

Teacher: So where did you guys go this summer?
Student 1: I went to Australia
Student 2: I went to Hong Kong
Me: I left my room, twice.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 676 points

Pluto*
posted a quote
August 6, 2012 4:05pm UTC

*Me Playing With My Cat*
Me: Who's a little adorable kitty? You are! Yes, you are! I could just eat you up cause' you're so damn cute. Do you know that? I bet you don't, you adorable bundle of fluffy cotton!
Cat: Meow... *bites me*
Me: OW, YOU LITTLE SH*T! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?
*Five Minutes Later*
Me: Oh, you're so cute. Who's my fluffy boyfriend? You are, my little fluffy kitty boyfriend.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1109 points

a_part_of_me
posted a quote
July 24, 2012 4:54pm UTC

GIRL: We're bestfriends, right?
BOY: Yes, of course.
GIRL: So be honest with me, who do you like?
BOY: I don't like someone. I love someone.
GIRL: Ohh, she must be very lucky!
BOY: She is, I've loved her ever since I met her.
GIRL: Really! Well since we're bestfriends, I want to meet her. Go call her!
BOY: Oh, okay.
*Boy takes out phone, dails her number and calls her.*
GIRL: Wait, hold on, I think I'm getting a call.
*Answers phone.*
GIRL: Hello?
BOY: I love you

👍 this is good · read the comments · 817 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 868 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
July 24, 2012 3:18am UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1992 points

_to_the_kids_who
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 11:32pm UTC

Here's to the kids who
have ever texted laying down and dropped their phone on their face.
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2235 points

ReganAlexis
posted a quote
May 13, 2012 4:38pm UTC

Fave if you shower. Let's see who's dirty.
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1359 points

OMEL714
posted a quote
May 12, 2012 5:26pm UTC

Hey I just met you,
and this is crazy,
but get in my van.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
May 12, 2012 5:30pm UTC

Today
I tried to prankcall
Domino's, and I asked
'Is this the Krusty Crab?"
And he said
"No this is Patrick!"
Lol. True.. Story..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1894 points

xxRyleeTxx
posted a quote
May 12, 2012 5:32pm UTC

Are you a baker
cause i like your buns!!!!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points

Ashwe110
posted a quote
May 12, 2012 5:32pm UTC

my mom seems to think that saying
"shut down" is better than saying " shut up"
but in my mind telling someone to "shut down" means "die"!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

♥Dreamer*
posted a quote
May 12, 2012 5:21pm UTC

LOL this is sooo funny!!!
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade"
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 695 points

DiNoLoVe
posted a quote
May 12, 2012 5:22pm UTC

heat makes things e x p a n d
therefore I'm not fat, just simply hot.
nmqmyformat.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 36 points

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