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redandblackbaby

redandblackbaby
posted a quote
February 22, 2013 11:54am UTC

My nickname for my friends' crush is:
He Who Be Ugly

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

AustinH
posted a quote
May 19, 2012 8:34pm UTC

Did anybody else
know that the voice of Plankton is
also Mr.Sikowitz from Victorious?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1974 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 18, 2012 2:31pm UTC

It's pretty awful
To judge someone
On something they can't change...

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1964 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 7:34pm UTC

Me in the shower:
Me: *turns water on*
Me: *grabs phone*
Me: *sits in the bathroom on witty for 7 minutes*
Me: *checks time*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: oh chiz
Me: *gets in shower*
Me: HOLY JEEEEZEZ OHMYGAWWWSH MY FOOT IS BURNING LIKE SHAWTY ON THE DANCE FLOOR
Me: *jumps out and turns hot water down*
Me: ahh, this'll be better
Me: *steps in shower once again*
Me: COLD COLD COLD ASDFGHJKL ITS SO COLD IS THIS FUUCKING ANTARCTICA OW OW OW OW OWWWW
Me: *turns hot water up a teeeeeeeeeeny tiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit*
Me: okay, this will work.
Me: holy crap it actually worked
Me: ahhhhhhhhhhhh
Me: NEVERMIND I'LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOOOUUUUU!
Me: ok seriously, gotta get clean
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: oh right, soap.
Me: *scrubbing arms and legs*
Me: omg wtf why am i so hairy
Me: lol jk, i'm a dude of course i'm hairy!
Me: *washes hair*
Me: *washes face*
Me: *drops shampoo*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: my family probably thinks i'm dead
Me: better make sure they know I'm alive
Me: I'M SLIM SHADY YES I'M DA REAL SHADY, ALL YOU OTHAA SOMETHIN SOMETHIN ARE JUST IMATATINN
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: guess i better get out now..
Me: *turns off water and gets out*
Me: *realizes i forgot to get a towel*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: *sprints naked to the hall closet and blindly grabs nearest bath towel*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: shh that never happened
Me:
Me:
Me: *sits on bed in only a towel making quote about taking a shower*
lol my quote & format! should i keep making these kinds of quotes?(:

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2073 points

Bravosierra*
posted a quote
June 19, 2012 4:22pm UTC

We turned witty PINK for breast cancer prevention.
Lets turn it TEAL to show
Witty is an ANTI BULLYING ZONE.
FAVE THIS! LETS GET STEVE'S ATTENTION.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2023 points

nightjade
posted a quote
June 18, 2012 3:05pm UTC

It'd kind of funny how in 2010 and 2011 we were all freaking out about 2012. And here we are now 6 months away from December and no one gives a crap.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2003 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
August 19, 2012 4:03pm UTC

Pick her up
and pretend you're going to throw her in the pool.
She'll scream and fight you,
but secretly, she'll love it.
Hold her hand while you talk.
Hold her hand when you drive.
Just hold her hand.
Tell her she looks pretty.
Look her in the eyes when you talk to her.
Protect her.
Tell her stupid jokes.
Tickle her, even when she says stop.
When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Tease her and let her tease you back.
Kiss her on the cheek.
Kiss her on the forehead.
Just kiss her.
Let her wear your clothes.
Go slow.
Don't push anything.
When you fall in love with her, tell her.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2204 points

hannahlovesxox
posted a quote
June 3, 2012 7:08pm UTC

Those scenarios you make up;
in your head when you start to like someone.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2042 points

misshyfr
posted a quote
May 7, 2012 6:41pm UTC

Dear inventors of Tampons,
How awkward was it for you to explain your invention to everyone?
._.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2031 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
July 1, 2012 10:36pm UTC

imagine if we're all still on witty in 70 years...
"just got another new cat..... YOLO."
"bought adele's new album, 91 today..."
"can i please have 84 faves for my 84th birthday? (:"
"ONE DIRECTION SIGNED MY WALKING STICK"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2086 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 21, 2012 2:36pm UTC

Keep this in mind
One day,there's going to be a guy
Who's going to love you , your body, your smile
They way you walk , the way you talk , the way you laugh.
He's going to love you and you are going to feel confident
and on top of the world
One day , you won't feel insecure.
Your day is coming,
I promise.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2051 points

yourcool
posted a quote
July 12, 2012 10:18pm UTC

shoutout to the 90s kids for being
the proudest of their decade for no apparent reason.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2120 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
May 25, 2012 2:08pm UTC

I want someone to play with my hair and draw circles on my back.
I want someone to cuddle with , on cold rainy days.
I want someone to kiss my forehead softly.
I want someone to play pretend with.
I want someone to tell me I am cute.
I want someone to hold my hand.
I want someone to tease me.
I want someone to hug.
I want someone.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2065 points

ImOnlyATeen
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 7:14pm UTC

me: why are those guys staring at me?
me:is there something on my face?
me:is there something on my shirt?
me:they're probably laughing at how ugly i am.
me:they probably find it amusing how fat i am.
friend:maybe they think you're cute.
me:are you stupid or something?
tumblr.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2205 points

伤*
posted a quote
May 2, 2012 1:40pm UTC

I won't date a model
because models are perfect
and perfect is boring
- Niall Horan
- OneDirection

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2117 points

Allison13Xoxo
posted a quote
May 31, 2012 3:41pm UTC

.Gay marriage is legal in 6 states.Having sexx with a horse is legal in 23.Good going, America.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2166 points

never_forget
posted a quote
August 2, 2012 7:39pm UTC

**When My Name's In A Math Problem**
Class: *Stares At Me*
Me: That's Right B*tches. I Bought 60 Watermelons.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2284 points

thatstoryyouneverknew
posted a quote
May 19, 2012 3:56pm UTC

Dear new clothes,
When i rip the tag off,
i expect the little plastic thing;
to come off too,
Sincerely
a n n o y e d,
and looking for the scissors.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2152 points

_to_the_kids_who
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 11:32pm UTC

Here's to the kids who
have ever texted laying down and dropped their phone on their face.
♥

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2235 points

xlivelaughlove524x
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 8:26pm UTC

Girl: May I please use the restroom?
Teacher: Can you wait? This period is almost over.
Girl: Not for me it isn't.
^I saw this in a movie today, and I laughed so hard I cried.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2336 points

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