the worst similes
by high school students.
(I thought this was so funny xD)
- Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
- He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.
- Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
- The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
- The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
-McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
-He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at asolar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
- Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
-The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
- Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
- He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose
-She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
-The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
-The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
-It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
-The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
-Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”
- Her pants fit her like a glove, well, maybe more like a mitten, actually.
-I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.
- She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe, and on top of that you can’t sing worth a damn.
- It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
underestimated
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