buttercup88's Favorites

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 1:49pm UTC

Friend: Next time a blocked number calls you, answer like this--"Jim's wh.ore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe."
Me: No. How about, "Nashville sp.erm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. How may I help you?"
Friend: No, you should say--"Henderson's Morgue, you stab em, we slab em. This is Eight Ball speaking."
Me: I think I should say, "Texas creatorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em. How can I direct your call?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 412 points

Feeling_free
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 9:08pm UTC

Graduation Time!
I am madly in love with this senior who is graduating on Sunday.
I'm not sure what to do! He's goofy, super nice, funny and... perfect.
This is my last chance to tell him how I feel.
50 faves by Sunday and I will confess my love.

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Infinity on high*
posted a quote
May 15, 2013 3:56am UTC

BravoSierra's format
When I see people making out in public
' U g h . C o u p l e s . '

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soccerboy14
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 8:25pm UTC

Favorite for a compliment

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yourcool
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 8:41pm UTC

and since we all came from a woman,
got our name from a woman and our game from a woman.
i wonder why we take from our women?
why we ra.pe our women, do we hate our women?
i think it's time to kill for our women.
time to heal our women, be real to our women.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 39 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 9:26pm UTC

everyone thinks i'm overdramatic when
i'm upset... but when an octopus gets stresses out it eats itself. not THAT'S overdramatic

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 113 points

lovecrazy
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 4:34pm UTC

Girl: I hate blood. It makes me pass out.
Me: What about.. Then.. How.. You can't.. But.. You're a girl.. And your.. Monthly.. Sucks to suck, dude.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 224 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 2:35pm UTC

Me as a lawyer
Me: *prosecuting lawyer voice* I have only one question for the defendant, guiltypersonsayswhat?
Defendant: What?
Me: Owned. You're going to jail.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 304 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 12:53pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
Saying "dad and mom" just feels wrong.
kind of like saying "josh and drake".

👍 this is good · read the comments · 425 points

Livelovemusic11
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 9:11pm UTC

'
What if...
Crazy Steve killed Drake and Josh and their family,kidnapped Megan,moved to a different city,forced her to call herself Carly,pretended he was her older brother,and renamed himself Spencer?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 453 points

Andreaxoxo
posted a quote
May 6, 2013 6:00pm UTC

a lot of my life
has been realizing that i would
cross oceans
for people who wouldn't
jump puddles for me

👍 this is good · read the comments · 919 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
May 7, 2013 2:27pm UTC

Today in class this guy was being really rude and disruptive, so my teacher
told him to act ladylike. Instead of doing his usual disruptice stuff, every 30 seconds he would yell out stuff like,
"My boobs hurt!"
"I need a man!"
"If you can't handle me at my worst you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!"
"I can't drive!"
"Why does nobody love me?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 682 points

happiest*
posted a quote
May 11, 2013 1:53pm UTC

it sucks having a beautiful bestfriend.
she's perfect. all the guys love her,
and you're just you.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 512 points

happiest*
posted a quote
April 29, 2013 3:29pm UTC

When you see pictures of your
friends, hanging out and you weren't invited

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 155 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
April 14, 2013 11:59pm UTC

I'm okay with people who realise they've said something mean and then say, "oh I'm sorry bro, that was out of line.". I'm not okay with people who realise they've said something mean, but then say "oh don't look so offended, it was only a joke" to stop themselves from feeling bad about it.

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kristabff
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 2:14pm UTC

A white m&m comes into a room with candy friends.
White m&m: ~engages conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white m&m?
White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate m&m bag over there!
Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE m&m bag, then why are you white??
Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1106 points

Camrynjp99
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 2:20pm UTC

Crush Tips #2
Show that cutey-patootey your smart and sensitive side.
Example} Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Your butt's funny looking,
but I think you'll do.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

happiest*
posted a quote
April 9, 2013 2:04pm UTC

I CARVED YOUR NAME ON THE BULLET
So they knew you were the last thing going through my mind.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 3, 2013 2:24pm UTC

On April 16, 2013 everyone who self harms, is suicidal, depressed,
has anxiety, is unhappy, going through a broken heart, just lost a loved one, etc. draw a semicolon on your wrist. A semicolon represents a sentence the author could've ended, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 44 points

soccertrack
posted a quote
March 26, 2013 3:50pm UTC

Bring a sprinkler inside a strip club. Literally make it rain

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points

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