athena255's Favorites

athena255

BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 1, 2012 7:22pm UTC

Me: Do you want any help with the dishes?
Mom: No, that's okay, sweetie. I got this. *ten minutes later* Mom: I swear to god, I get no help around here!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 534 points

kaaarolcia
posted a quote
July 1, 2012 6:02pm UTC

Here's to the kids who read the 'ugly quotes', too ;)

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 632 points

neversaynever16
posted a quote
July 2, 2012 4:33pm UTC

THAT AWKWARD MOMENTwhen you're about to study and your laptop walks in with no bra and panties on and seduces youformat by neversaynever16

👍 this is good · read the comments · 696 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
July 1, 2012 10:36pm UTC

imagine if we're all still on witty in 70 years...
"just got another new cat..... YOLO."
"bought adele's new album, 91 today..."
"can i please have 84 faves for my 84th birthday? (:"
"ONE DIRECTION SIGNED MY WALKING STICK"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2086 points

WonderfulLove
posted a quote
July 2, 2012 4:23pm UTC

Best friend: Ok so I have to tell you something, please don't get mad.
Me: I won't.
Best friend: Ok you have been replaced I'm very sorry.
Me: By?
Best friend: A new bff.
Me: Who?
Best friend: Kidding kidding. It's a dog your still my number one.
She was kidding I'm pretty sure, but honestly at first I didn't know if she was kidding or not and she was taking ages to reply even though she usually replies so fast. It still hurt though, even though it was a joke because I've already almost been replaced before.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 23 points

hailstorm37
posted a quote
June 29, 2012 9:24pm UTC

My father tried to set my mother on fire, leaving her with a very deformed face.
Every day, i anonomysly write her a letter to her, saying how i think shes the prettiest women i have ever seen, and put it in the mail box. she cries when she reads them. she doesnt know its me yet.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1010 points

AustinH
posted a quote
June 29, 2012 8:02pm UTC

FUN FACT:
People born in 1994-1999
have lived in three decades,
two centuries,
and two millenniums.
And they are not even 18 yet.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1123 points

smileetweetzz
posted a quote
June 29, 2012 2:34pm UTC

Valorie You may have chemistry with her, but you have history with me.
26 minutes ago ·1 comment · 15 likes posted via iphone
Dalton You got your class schedule already??
13 minutes ago ago · 63 Like
nmq & nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1148 points

smluvsart
posted a quote
June 27, 2012 5:25pm UTC

did you know #29
THAT THERE IS A CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLED 'GO THE F*CK TO SLEEP'
(the author created it when his 2 year-old daughter wouldn't go to sleep)
should i do a series?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 550 points

kaaarolcia
posted a quote
June 27, 2012 4:06pm UTC

Me: Oh, look! A shell! Lets listen to the sound of the ocean in it!
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend: You know that's only the sound of blood running in your vains in your head?
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me: STFU, IT'S THE SOUND OF THE OCEAN!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 670 points

karatekid7892
posted a quote
June 24, 2012 9:13pm UTC

*Me and my guy friend after a huge fight*
me: I'll just leave. You won't have to deal with me anymore.
him: But I like having to deal with you.
me: ... I'm sorry I'm such a mess all the time..
him: But you're not.
me: I feel like I am. I know I'm hard to be friends with, so thanks, for handling me all this time.
him: It was worth it, you know. The time spent with you, it was. You're such a good friend, and it's worth it to know we can still be close after fights like that. I just want to be there for you, and help you, because I care about you. A whole lot. I enjoy your company. So please stay.
And this is why we're friends.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 540 points

silently-dreaming*
posted a quote
June 24, 2012 8:11pm UTC

True Story:
Me: *listening to What Makes You Beautiful Acoustic Version*
Me: *sings along*
Brother: YOU DON'TTT KNOOOWWW-OHH-OHHH, YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFULLL-UH-ULLL AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFULLLLL! YEAH!
Me:
Brother:
Dad:
Me:
Brother: Thanks Rach, I love that song and now it's stuck in my head
Dad: Oh man.
Me: SUCCESS! FINALLY. It only took forever.
Brother: Dad, can we get One Direction concert tickets?
Dad: *Walks away totally freaked out*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 564 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 24, 2012 3:24pm UTC

Good Luck Charlie
Bob: Blonde
Amy: Blonde
PJ: Blonde
Teddy: Blonde
Gabe: Brunette
Charlie: Blonde
Anyone else find this slightly suspicious?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1095 points

pleasespeaktomyface
posted a quote
June 23, 2012 11:26am UTC

Me when I turn 18:
Parents: Do this.
Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 903 points

Fitness
posted a quote
June 22, 2012 8:27pm UTC

Burn 100 calories!
40 jumping jacks
10 push-ips
20 squats
30 crunches

👍 this is good · read the comments · 408 points

yourcool
posted a quote
June 22, 2012 9:07pm UTC

GPS: Go straight.
Louis Tomlinson: No.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 660 points

DreamOutLoud127
posted a quote
June 22, 2012 10:07pm UTC

How To Freak People Out #1
run into a random crowd, hug the first person you see and scream, "I TOLD YOU I'D GET OUT OF PRISON!!"
comment if you think i should make a series, im not doing this for likes i just want to know if anyone would actually read it :)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1502 points

kittykat_eyes
posted a quote
June 21, 2012 2:13am UTC

Dad: Be mature stop arguing with your 10 year old brother.
Me: He was hitting me!
Dad: BE MATURE HE IS 10!
Me: So?
Dad: Your older so act like that, he's 10 and your 16.
Me: And your 45 arguing with a 16 year old
Dad: ........

👍 this is good · read the comments · 401 points

SimpliciteLove
posted a quote
June 20, 2012 6:41pm UTC

DIRECTIONERS
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LNS
(Let Niall Sing)
Management is not letting Niall sing at the next performance.
We must stop this. We can not let them bring Nialler down.
He is amazing, beautiful, and has an amazing voice.
Wittians, we have a job to do.
Post LNS everywhere. On T-Shirts.
On signs. On your Facebook.
On other websites.
Even on bathroom walls.
We must stop this. Niall deserves to sing, he is apart of 1D, too.
!LIKE THIS TO SUPPORT NIALLER!
LNS

👍 this is good · read the comments · 286 points

matinaCrazyCat
posted a quote
June 20, 2012 4:49pm UTC

1. i woke up2. i saw him3. i loved him4. i run 5. i kiss himMaybe it was like this: 2,3,4,5,1format by matinaCrazyCat

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 264 points

Witty Profiles

athena255