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  1. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    December 28, 2012 4:21pm UTC
    BOOK HANGOVER; adjective
    the inability to start a new book because you're still living in the last book's world.

  2. jimboslice3 jimboslice3
    posted a quote
    December 28, 2012 1:23pm UTC
    Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Brother: I don't know
    Me: To get to the gay guys house
    Brother: What?
    Me: Nevermind
    Me: Knock Knock
    Brother: Whos there?
    Me: The chicken!
    My Mom: *starts laughing*
    True story

  3. yourXlifeXisXbeautiful yourXlifeXisXbeautiful
    posted a quote
    December 21, 2012 4:47pm UTC
    relatives: any boyfriends?
    me: no.
    typical conversation at any holiday since i was 5.
    Tumblr

  4. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    December 23, 2012 5:51pm UTC
    janitor: from the windows, to the walls. cleaning up the bathroom stalls. til my mop wets all these halls, and all you b/tches fall.

  5. sammy* sammy*
    posted a quote
    December 27, 2012 5:20pm UTC
    I wish i was one of those girls who's beautful and doesn't realize it
    but i'm just one of those girls who's ugly and totally aware of it.

  6. strawberry_skittles strawberry_skittles
    posted a quote
    December 22, 2012 3:24pm UTC
    "Was it a car or a cat I saw?"
    Is the same thing spelled backwards

  7. fungirl fungirl
    posted a quote
    December 22, 2012 3:55pm UTC
    An unknown number was calling my 12 year old cousin...
    He picks up and goes "Jim's wh0re house. You got the dough we got the hoe"
    *Face Drops*
    "Oh hey mom..."


  8. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  9. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    December 11, 2012 2:49pm UTC
    My life is like a romantic comedy
    except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes

  10. sayheyilyx sayheyilyx
    posted a quote
    December 9, 2012 9:37pm UTC
    "You apologize too much."
    Sorry.

  11. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 7, 2012 8:55pm UTC
    24 Ways to Annoy People in an Elevator
    1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
    2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
    3) Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.
    4) Call the Pychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
    5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
    6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
    7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
    8) Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
    9) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
    10) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exit with the passengers.
    11) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
    12) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
    13) When the doors close, announce to the others , "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
    14) Swat at flies that don't exist.
    15) Tell people that you can see their aura.
    16) Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.
    17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
    18) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
    19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
    20) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
    21) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
    22) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
    23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
    24) Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
    25) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"

  12. BlackButterflies BlackButterflies
    posted a quote
    October 29, 2012 8:06pm UTC
    DEAR EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER HAD BRACES:
    as of today, i feel your pain. ouch.

  13. LiliBlackHeart LiliBlackHeart
    posted a quote
    October 30, 2012 5:52pm UTC
    I embrace the awkward,
    and make everybodu else feel awkward
    -Drew

  14. xxiammexx xxiammexx
    posted a quote
    October 26, 2012 11:58am UTC
    When i was young...
    whenever i was on a long road trip,
    i used to imagine there was a little man running alongside me, dodging obstacles.
    anyone else? :x

  15. Arilena :)* Arilena :)*
    posted a quote
    October 24, 2012 2:54pm UTC
    Friends: Why are you so nice to others?
    Me: You never know what they're going through.

  16. Arilena :)* Arilena :)*
    posted a quote
    October 24, 2012 3:31pm UTC
    Fave if:
    1. You check your phone for no reason,
    because you know nobody has texted you.
    2. You will go slightly out of your way to
    step on a crunchy-looking leaf.
    3. You always hear your name
    when it's not being called.
    4. You hate hearing your voice in recordings.
    5. You use the word "thingy",
    when you can't remember what something is called.
    6. You pretend you're writing in class
    so the teacher won't call on you.
    7. You say the entire alphabet because
    you can't remember what letter comes next.

  17. LolSoTrueQuotes LolSoTrueQuotes
    posted a quote
    October 17, 2012 8:51pm UTC
    Lol So True: #166
    Let's play truth or dare. Or maybe just dare because no one knows how to tell the truth anymore.
    lolsotrue.com

  18. envious* envious*
    posted a quote
    October 14, 2012 8:21pm UTC
    1
    I can't even...OMG! You guys are amazing! I am so...moved!
    *clicks on it*
    Oh...It's just me...
    I...gotta...stop...faving...my...own...quotes.

  19. MyWittyProfile MyWittyProfile
    posted a quote
    October 15, 2012 5:40pm UTC
    *In English*
    My crush: ~Cracks his nuckles~
    Teacher: DON'T DO THAT! WHEN YOU'RE OLDER YOU'LL HAVE HUGE KNUCKLES AND NO ONE WILL WANT TO DATE YOU!
    Me: I would
    Teacher: What
    Crush: What
    Obama: What
    Queen: What
    E.T: What
    Everyone: What

  20. FluffyScamp FluffyScamp
    posted a quote
    October 14, 2012 9:02pm UTC
    They'll hate you if you're thick.
    They'll hate you if you're thin.
    They'll hate you if you're different.
    They'll hate you for fitting in.
    They'll hate you if you're pretty.
    They'll hate you if you're not.
    They'll hate you for what you lack.
    They'll hate you for what you got.
    They'll hate you for speaking your mind.
    They'll hate you for hiding at the side.
    They'll hate you no matter what you do,
    but you have two choices;
    Don't care.
    Or keep a challenging stare.

:)

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