✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ Go ahead, Pass me in the halls and pretend I don't exist. I hope every single time we make eye contact, You relive every memory we've ever had. And I hope it hurts. ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼
Have you ever broke down sobbing after so long of being strong? Crumbled to the floor, hands by your face. Your face scrunches up and you let out that first gasp. You try to be quiet but eventually it becomes loud, heartwrenching sobs. You cry and cry, so much you can't breath. You ask whoever's up there, "Why? Why me? Why this?" You sob, trying to gasp breaths in between. Eventually, you completely collapse on the floor after, and you just lay there, numb.
I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of yelling. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of feeling crazy. I'm tired of feeling stuck. I'm tired of needing help. I'm tired of remembering. I'm tired of missing things. I'm tired of being different. I'm tired of missing people. I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of feeling empty inside. I'm tired of not being able to just let go. I'm tired of wishing I could start all over. I'm tired of dreaming a life I will never have. But most of all, I'm just tired of being tired.
Has it ever occurred to you That you could change your life right this second if you really wanted to? You could stand up and yell at your teacher. You could place yourself in a life or death situation. You could even take that risk and just spontaneously and passionately kiss the one you really love by surprise. We could change the entire outcome of our lives. And if our lives are really as bad as we say they are, Why won't we take these chances?
A 7 year old boy came up to me today and said, "Have you ever watched someone die?" And I answered with "Sadly, yes." He then said, "Today, I watched my bestfriend get shot...." not mine but it broke my heart</3