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AEleanore
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 3:58pm UTC

FRANCE: zero
FRANCE: one
FRANCE: two
FRANCE: three
FRANCE: four
FRANCE: five
FRANCE: six
FRANCE: seven
FRANCE: eight
FRANCE: nine
FRANCE: ten
FRANCE: eleven
FRANCE: twelve
FRANCE: thirteen
FRANCE: fourteen
FRANCE: fifteen
FRANCE: sixteen
FRANCE: TEN-SEVEN
FRANCE: TEN-EIGHT
FRANCE: TEN-NINE
FRANCE: twenty
FRANCE: TWENTY-AND-ONE
FRANCE: twenty-two
FRANCE: twenty-three
FRANCE: twenty-four
FRANCE: twenty-five
FRANCE: twenty-six
FRANCE: twenty-seven
FRANCE: twenty-eight
FRANCE: twenty-nine
FRANCE: thirty
FRANCE: THIRTY-AND-ONE
FRANCE: thirty-two
FRANCE: thirty-three
FRANCE: thirty-four
FRANCE: thirty-five
FRANCE: thirty-six
FRANCE: thirty-seven
FRANCE: thirty-eight
FRANCE: thirty-nine
FRANCE: forty
FRANCE: FORTY-AND-ONE
FRANCE: forty-two
FRANCE: forty-three
FRANCE: forty-four
FRANCE: forty-five
FRANCE: forty-six
FRANCE: forty-seven
FRANCE: forty-eight
FRANCE: forty-nine
FRANCE: fifty
FRANCE: FIFTY-AND-ONE
FRANCE: fifty-two
FRANCE: fifty-three
FRANCE: fifty-four
FRANCE: fifty-five
FRANCE: fifty-six
FRANCE: fifty-seven
FRANCE: fifty-eight
FRANCE: fifty-nine
FRANCE: sixty
FRANCE: SIXTY-AND-ONE
FRANCE: sixty-two
FRANCE: sixty-three
FRANCE: sixty-four
FRANCE: sixty-five
FRANCE: sixty-six
FRANCE: sixty-seven
FRANCE: sixty-eight
FRANCE: sixty-nine
FRANCE: SIXTY-TEN
FRANCE: SIXTY-ELEVEN
FRANCE: SIXTY-TWELVE
FRANCE: SIXTY-THIRTEEN
FRANCE: SIXTY-FOURTEEN
FRANCE: SIXTY-FIFTEEN
FRANCE: SIXTY-SIXTEEN
FRANCE: SIXTY-TEN-SEVEN
FRANCE: SIXTY-TEN-EIGHT
FRANCE: SIXTY-TEN-NINE
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-AND-ONE
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-TWO
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-THREE
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-FOUR
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-FIVE
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-SIX
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-SEVEN
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-EIGHT
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-NINE
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-TEN
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-ELEVEN
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-TWELVE
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-THIRTEEN
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-FOURTEEN
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-FIFTEEN
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-SIXTEEN
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-TEN-SEVEN
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-TEN-EIGHT
FRANCE: FOURTY-TWENTY-TEN-NINE
FRANCE: one hundred

👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points

yourcool
posted a quote
May 14, 2013 8:49pm UTC

i wish there were a book that was filled with
the first impressions of every single person i've ever spoken to because i'd really like to just sit down and read what everyone thought of me.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 295 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
May 16, 2013 8:54pm UTC

imagine
reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 736 points

heyitscooper
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 9:02pm UTC

I asked my best friend to prom today. This is how it happened:
Early in the morning, her parents let me into her room, where I layed out some rose pedals, and put a stuffed animal bear next to her pillow, holding her favorite candy, Reese's. I led a trail to the backdoor, where I left a dozen roses in a vase, with a handwritten card, with clues on it. The whole day, she had to follow these "clues". At the end of the day, the clues led her to my house, to my pool. In my pool, my mum decorated it with those candles on pedals that float in the water. On each one, was a rose flower. As she neared the pool, she spotted hanging lights from my balcony that read "Prom?" I was on the balcony in a tux with a light purple bowtie, her favorite color.
When I spotted her, my heart jumped, and I sprinted downstairs to the backyard. In my hand was a bouquet of flowers. When she saw me, she was crying, and I'll never forget the smile on her face. I went up to her, smiling, and said "Kate, will you go to prom with me?"
SHE SAID YES!!!!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 391 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 28, 2013 1:49pm UTC

Friend: Next time a blocked number calls you, answer like this--"Jim's wh.ore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe."
Me: No. How about, "Nashville sp.erm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. How may I help you?"
Friend: No, you should say--"Henderson's Morgue, you stab em, we slab em. This is Eight Ball speaking."
Me: I think I should say, "Texas creatorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em. How can I direct your call?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 412 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
April 29, 2013 11:24pm UTC

sometimes
i think i’m arrogant but then i remember that julius caesar was kidnapped by cicilian pirates and when they demanded a ransom of 620 kgs of silver he got mad because he thought he was worth more than that and made them raise it to 1550 kg
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 310 points

happiest*
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 4:48am UTC

I'm a member of C.S.I
"Can't.Stand.Idiots "

👍 this is good · read the comments · 136 points

365days*
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 12:35pm UTC

THIS ONE IS FOR YOU MUSIC NERDS LIKE US
*My sister and I trying to teach a boy to play piano*
Boy: Did you ever take piano lessons?
Sister: No, Im a natural I guess.
Me: Well, aren't you sharp?
Sister: Take notes then.
Me: Now, lets not cause any treble.
Sister:
Me: Score!
Sister: Give it a rest.
Me: Are we going to be doing this the whole time?
Sister: I could go on for forte days.
Me: That would B major.
Sister: I swear, you are beat in' me up over this.
Me: Im sorry, I didn't mean to. It was accidental.
Sister: You have some major problems.
Me: I don't like your tone.
Boy: Come on guys, compose your thoughts carefully.
Sister: Yeah, lets stick to the coda conduct.
Me: Okay, this is getting ritarded.
Sister: Yeah, I can't think of anymore clefer things to say.
Me: This is alto much for me.
Sister: This is really becoming unbarible.
Me: Good thing you are A minor. Your jokes are so bad, you could have got double time.
Boy: What is going on? Why are you guys laughing so much?
Sister: Well, bassically- *starts laughing*
Me: Okay, lets just get bach to the music. Its too much for her to handel.
Yes, we had an entire conversation in music puns. If you don't know much about music and band, this probably makes no sense.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 349 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 26, 2013 11:06pm UTC

This guy was listening to really loud gospel music at the library and one the
librarian asked him to turn it down and he said, "You can't turn down Jesus!"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 180 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 9:54am UTC

If countries were students
Australia: The class clown who makes everyone laugh
The United States: The jock who loves themselves and everyone secretly hates
Canada: The nice person who offers to show you around on your first day
England: The hot boy everybody wants to bang because he's a gentleman
New Zealand: Australia's little brother who is the only one who thinks Australia sucks
France: The romantic playboy who hangs around England too much
China: The overly smart kid who puts his hand up for every question
Russia: The scary large kid that nobody talks to because they'll probably get stabbed

👍 this is good · read the comments · 577 points

dolph*
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 5:25pm UTC

Draco: Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?
Harry: Yeah, reckon so
Draco: Got plenty of special features, hasn't it? Shame it doesn't come with a parachute-in case you get too near a Dementor.
Harry: Pity you cant attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy. Then it could catch the Snitch for you.
HOW SASSY WAS THAT

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 84 points

AEleanore
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 9:11pm UTC

I'M NOT A COMPLETE IDIOT!
some parts are missing

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

kristabff
posted a quote
April 24, 2013 4:10pm UTC

I have this really unnatractive
thing on my head called my face

👍 this is good · read the comments · 536 points

Cammie
posted a quote
April 23, 2013 7:59pm UTC

At Wal-Mart & saw a sign over the sink: "Employees must wash hands."
I was stuck in there for 45 minutes before one showed up to wash mine.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 253 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 8:12pm UTC

There's a guy in my grade who gets bullied and made fun of by so many people.
He mainly hangs out with girls because he doesn't get along with guys.
But everyone mistakes it for him being gay.
He is really nice to this one teacher that everyone hates.
Once, that teacher looked really sad when a bunch of students were making fun of her
so he stood up and asked her if she wanted a hug.
He makes people feel better about themselves and
supports them in everything they do, even if he doesn't agree with it.
This guy is exactly what every girl would want in a guy
and examples everything that a guy should learn about people.
But he doesn't get the respect.
Why?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 128 points

dolph*
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 8:05pm UTC

Me: throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up
Friend: throwing handles at people who need to get a grip
Me: throwing refrigerators at people who need to chill
Friend: throwing scissors at people who need to cut it out
Me: throwing clocks at people who need to get with the times
Friend: throwing matches at people who need to get fired up
Me: throwing bricks at people to kill them
Friend: what
Me: what

👍 this is good · read the comments · 275 points

dolph*
posted a quote
April 21, 2013 8:39pm UTC

Ron: So what is it he sees in her?
Harry: I don't know. She's smart, funny, attractive...
Ron: Attractive?
Harry: You know... she's got nice skin.
Ron: Skin? So you're saying Dean is dating my sister because of her skin..
Harry: I'M JUST SAYING IT COULD BE A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 63 points

dolph*
posted a quote
April 20, 2013 12:13pm UTC

I like all Harry Potter puns, whether they're Sirius or just plain Riddikulus

👍 this is good · read the comments · 130 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 20, 2013 1:51pm UTC

The Boston Marathon was bombed. There was an explosion at JFK library. Obama was almost sent poison. There was a fire and enormous explosion at a Texas fertilizer plant. MIT is under lock down because a gunman shot and killed a campus officer.
What. The f.uck. Is going. On.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 177 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
April 20, 2013 2:07pm UTC

My favorite part of the Hunger Games is that the books aren't supposed
to be all about the love triange, yet that's the only thing the media really cares about. Do you all realize that is exactly what the Capitol paid attention to? They're main focus was the love triangle and our media does the same thing. I don't like how similar these two are becoming. Seriously, stop.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 177 points

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LaurelTree