Kamily_96's Favorites

_Invisible_Love
posted a quote
August 29, 2012 10:07pm UTC

Sales Calls...
Most People-
"Hello?"
*Hangs up phone*
My Dad-
"Hola"
"HOLA!!!"
"HOLA???"
"ME NO SPEAK NO ENGLISH!"
"HOLAAAAAAAAA"
"adios."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 341 points

_Invisible_Love
posted a quote
August 30, 2012 10:58am UTC

That awkward moment when...
"Someone Like You" comes on the radio and your moms boyfriend decides to put down all the windows in the car and belt out the lyrics like a dying hippo.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

_Invisible_Love
posted a quote
August 30, 2012 12:47pm UTC

Waiter: Enjoy your meal
Me: You too!
Waiter:...
Me:...
Waiter: *Raises eyebrows*
Me: Oh

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 39 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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_Invisible_Love
posted a quote
August 30, 2012 1:10pm UTC

When I'm Home Alone...
Me: Hmm.. Im hungry.
Me: WHERES THE FOOD?! GIMME THE FOOD!!
Me: *Shoves food into face*
Pets: ...
Me: ...
Me: What??
Pets: ...
Me: I need to eat less. I'm so fat.
Me: *Starts doing crunches*
Me: That should do the trick
Me: Im still hungry.
Me: *Eats a quart of icecream*
Me: Im borrrrrrrrrrrrrrreedddddddddddddddd
Me: YOUR INSECURE, DONT KNOW WHAT FOR, YOUR TURNING HEADS WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THE DOOR-OR-OR!
Me: ...
Dog: ...
Fish: ... Blub Blub Blub
Potato: ...
Me: I GOTTA PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Me: Sh/t. Moms home.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 99 points

zer0*
posted a quote
July 30, 2012 11:15am UTC

Have you guys ever realized that the brain named itself?
MIND=BLOWN.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 347 points

XxMaggieexX
posted a quote
July 30, 2012 8:07pm UTC

When I see 14 year olds in the Olympics,
It makes me question what I've been doing my whole life...
-nmf

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1671 points

EmmaTomlinson69
posted a quote
July 30, 2012 2:57pm UTC

Teacher: From all this talking I assume you're done with your work.
Me: From all this complaining I assume you're still single.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 677 points

lozza821
posted a quote
July 30, 2012 2:27pm UTC

John
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's only 8.
1 hour ago ·0 comment · 69 Likes
this was not meant to offend.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1094 points

fool's gold*
posted a quote
July 30, 2012 3:47pm UTC

And who else keeps clicking
on their username, expecting to see a drop-down menu?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1417 points

xashleyx01
posted a quote
July 29, 2012 9:20pm UTC

*Checking out at the store*
Cashier: "Are you buying all these?" Me: "Oh no,
I'm stealing them. I just wanted to show you first."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 476 points

LaureeeenN
posted a quote
July 29, 2012 8:21pm UTC

"5 Times Better than the Leading Brand"
well if youre so much better than the leading brand , why arent YOU the leading brand..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 751 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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_RealRico_
posted a quote
July 28, 2012 10:45am UTC

friend: Dude, that song is old.
me: So is your mom. But you still listen to her.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 144 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
July 28, 2012 11:28am UTC

So, Voldemort was at the Olympic opening ceremony
Harry, you had one job.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 269 points

XxRecoverxX
posted a quote
July 28, 2012 12:08pm UTC

Agnes: will you read us a bedtime story?
Gru: no.
Agnes: pretty please?
Gru: the physical appearance of the please makes no difference.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 488 points

xashleyx01
posted a quote
July 28, 2012 11:49am UTC

My Relationship is like an Ipad,
I don't have an Ipad.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 590 points

kristagannon
posted a quote
July 28, 2012 12:08pm UTC

A boy's sleepy voice is seriously
the sexiest sh.t ever.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 688 points

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Kamily_96